My Trek through Nature

Whether I wanted it or not!

Week before last the weather was turning beautiful. So, I took to walking in Shelby Park, which is about 2 miles from our house in beautiful East Nashville.

Monday, I went with Carter and he had a great time. Now, I have been working out quite a bit on the ellipitcal machine at the Y so the 1.25 mile walk seemed like nothing.

Thursday, I decided to go on my own. While at the park on Monday I viewed a map of the park (big mistake) and saw that when I came to the fork on the greenway, I could go 1.25 miles or 1.75 miles. Thursday, I decided to live dangerously. I decided to trek the 1/75 miles.

Well, things were going great until I hit the 2 mile marker. Thats right, I was supposed to loop around the park in 1.75 miles, according to that map. I was anywhere but near where I had started.

So, instead of turning around, knowing I was going to have to walk 4 miles total I decided to forge ahead, thinking, somehow, there would be a way out.

Well, another half mile up the road it became clear that I was in a dilemma. Not only was I 2+ miles away from where I started, I had finished off my 20 oz bottle of water that I had, thankfully, brought with me. Then it hit! I had the urgent desire to PEE. And it was BAD.

Now, for those of you who know me. I am not a nature person. I don't go camping. I like make-up and running water. I don't sleep in a tent. Get the picture.

So the thought of having to pee outside, in public, really didn't appeal to me. But, I really didn't have a choice, if you know what I mean. It was going to come out one way or another and I really didn't want to pee in my pants. So, off I went to find a trail. It would have been great if someone had been there to video tape me walking with my legs half way crossed praying that I would find the trail before I pee'd all over everything! I found a trail that I had passed not to long ago, so I hurriedly looked both ways to make sure no one else was on this road. I found the trail just in time. It was very well hidden from the road, it was next to a creek. It was totally isolated, (I think, I hope, I pray!!!). I won't go into the details of the "drop", but lets just say I did my business and hit the road.

After my "nature drop", I had a clearer mind and it became apparent that I just needed to turn around and go back the way that I came. But, I was still wondering if this road would take me back to where I started, somehow. I stopped and asked a nice gentleman that if I stayed on the path that I was on where would it lead. He told me I would end up at Opry Mills mall.

No thank you, please. Sigh.

So, I turned around and headed back.

All in all I walked about 5 .5 miles, at least. I was never so glad to see the new nature center. Then my car. Whew.

I came home and drank a bunch of water, stretched out and took some advil. The next day I was not nearly as sore as I thought I would be and I was really quite proud of myself.

Of course, I haven't been back to the park yet. I'm still fearful they are going to arrest me for indecent exposure in a nature setting or defaming public property. Who knows.

Had to share these!!!

It is time to share a few Carter pictures.

The first set is of him enjoying one of his favorite desserts. Carter does not want anyone feeding him anymore, and the best way to get him to learn to eat with a spoon is to just give him a bowlful of food and let him go at it. And that he did as you will see in these pictures...

Of course, as you can see, he prefers using his fingers!!!

Carter got a new haircut and I had to show it off. This should do him for most of the summer. No buzz cut this year, probably never again! I like him with hair.

Finally, these are the best!

This morning I was busy getting ready while Greg had run an errand. Carter was in the living room watching a video and playing. I thought to myself, Wow, Carter is being sooo good this morning. I come in to find him with the air vent removed and his repeating, "ball??" over and over. Yes, he had thrown a ball down the airvent. I spent the next 5 minutes trying to explain to him that the ball went bye bye. So, I put the vent cover back on and told him not to take it off. We have done this SEVERAL times, he is obsessed with taking the air vent cover off. So, I go downstairs to get something and come back up and start sorting through some clothes. I hear a strange sound and look in the living room and found this!

Yes, apparently, Carter was going to go after his ball. He climbed down into the air vent. Sigh. For a minute he was stuck, then I was able to get him out. He then got a spanking to remind him that taking the vent cover off and climbing into the vent is a BIG NO NO!!!!! Then I gave him a great big hug and told him I loved him and held onto him for dear life!!!

Eggs....and not the Easter kind

We had a guest speaker at church today. It was a really good message. God spoke some thing to me today. And they really made me smile.

First, though, I'll share the things that didn't make me smile. God pounding me over the head over and over that in His time we will have another baby and that, while I can take things into my own hands, there will always going to be consequences in doing so. Also, though, God is a God of mercy (thank you, Jesus) and no matter what I have done in the past or how much I fail in the future, God knows exactly every move that I am going to make and He loves me anyway.

Now, onto the smile....

The pastor was speaking out of Genesis 16. The story is of Abram, Sarah and Hagaar. You know the story. Abram is promised to be the father of all nations, Sarah can't have children and they end up taking matters into their own hands, and Ishmael is born. I think we can all say we see the consequences today (in the Middle East) for their decisions. The Sarah, at age 90, and in women's terms....way past the normal time frame to get pregnant.......gets pregnant by the Lord's hand. In other words, her eggs were fried, dried, and dusty and God transformed them to sunny side up, once again.

This is the part that made me smile. I was sitting in the service and it dawned on me.

If God can take Sarah's 90 year old eggs and produce offspring, then surely He is capable of taking my 39 year old eggs and making them PERFECT, too. Oh, and don't forget about Greg's contributions. I wouldn't want to leave him out, you know how he hates missing out on attention. Ha ha. Love ya, honey!

So, I smiled and I quit worrying about it, for a minute, at least. I have seen everything!

Imagine my shock and surprise at today's Oprah show.

Apparently, there was a woman, who "became" a man and now he(she) is pregnant.

I have to ask, why is it that I, what I would call a good, Christian person, in a loving marriage with a "real" man, has three miscarriages and this couple can do this? That is just a little anger coming out. Kind of like, why do people who can't afford or want children seem to have them and then abuse them? Another thing that makes me angry, but I digress from this amazing story.

This couple came on national television and told People magazine their "story". He "became" a man but kept his reproductive organs and he says that he doesn't view wanting to have a baby as a male or female thing, he just knew he wanted to do it. All they want us to think is that this is completely normal. Read the transcript (or listen to the show) and you will see the undertones of tolerance.

The bottom line is, this is not really a man. He was created a woman and has all the female reproductive organs. They had a sperm donor. It is really not all that unusual. He just looks like a "man" and has had testosterone and surgeries to complete the "process".

I know some may think I am not being "tolerant" but the message being preached on this show is extremely scary to me to think that our world is coming to this and that it is being accepted and I am considered intolerant because I view it as wrong.

Okay, rant over. My mouth, however, is still wide open. It is an amazing story

Love them like Jesus

This is a title of a song from the Christian group Casting Crowns. I LOVE it. I actually love this whole album but this song and Praise You in this Storm if just perfect for what we have been going through lately. So, I listen to this CD a lot.

People get uncomfortable around people who have experienced a loss. Whether a person has lost a loved one or had a miscarriage people tend to not know what to do or say. We really make it more difficult than it actually is and there are many reasons why people respond or don't respond.

For me, I build walls rather than extend an arm. When my second miscarriage happened I made it clear to the few people who knew that I was a private person and I did not want, in essence, to be bothered. And guess what? People left me alone. And because of this wall no one every brought up the fact that I had experienced a miscarriage. I did get some encouraging emails letting me know I was being prayed for but I felt irritated after a while that no one asked me how I was doing or extended a hand and said to my face, "I am still praying for you". One casual friend did ask me how I was and I thanked her for acknowledging that I had had a loss. But really, was it their fault they were not extending condolences? No, it had been mine. Because I had chosen to build a wall.

This miscarriage I have told a lot of people, some because I had to, others because I just want to share it. I want prayer. I want people to know so they can be praying for us and our family. But still most people don't acknowledge me or the fact that I have had a loss.

Sometimes people who have experienced a loss have to take the initiative to let people know what they can do for them or to clear the air and let people know it is okay to talk about.

Maureen Rank wrote in her book, Free to Greive, a book about grieving over miscarriage and stillbirth, a personal story regarding having to step up and speak when a roomful of people in her hospital room did not know what to say. She writes,

"As these young men and women stood awkwardly beside my bed, I knew the ball was in my court. They had taken the initiative to reach out to me, even though their caring had shoved them into unfamiliar and uncomfortable territory. I knew they wanted to do the right thing, but weren't sure what the right thing was."

Maureen continues to write that she began to talk and to share and open up. the visited ended with mutual giving and receiving.

I haven't done the best job initiating responses from friends and acquaintences. But, I am trying to do better.

I know most people don't know what to say. It is possible that they are afraid of the response they will get...tears, anger or maybe more information than they wanted to know. It is very understandable.

I guess what I am saying in this post is, if you know someone who has experienced a loss, whatever kind of loss it is, just love them like Jesus. Just like the song states, you don't need to know all the right words or to know all of the answers to life's questions. We don't expect you to.

Here are the lyrics to this great song.

Love them Like Jesus
The love of her life is drifting away
They're losing the fight for another day
The life that she's known is falling apart
A fatherless home, a child's broken heart

You're holding her hand, you're straining for words
You're trying to make sense of it all
She's desperate for home, darkness clouding her view
She is looking to you

Love them like Jesus, carry her to HIm
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves her and stay by her side
Love her like Jesus

The gifts lie in wait, in a room painted blue
Little blessing from Heaven would be there soon
Hope fades in the night, blue skies turn to gray
As the little one slips away

You're holding her hand, you're straining for words
You're trying to make sense of it all
they're desperate for hope, darkness clouding their view
They're looking to you

Love them like Jesus, carry her to HIm
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves her and stay by her side
Love her like Jesus