Parenting Class
I am very excited that the parenting class that I attempted in February is starting back up tonight and there will be 5 of us there. I was just looking back over the material and I am excited that it will be a small group and that I get the opportunity to present that material. It really is good material. It is from Family Life Today and it is part of the HomeBuilders series on parenting. Good Christian stuff. I am looking forward to learning and hearing from other parents and parents-to-be.
Emotional Investment in our Children
Anyone can be a parent. Some of us are more prepared for it than others, but unfortunately in some cases, most are not prepared for the responsibilities of being emotionally vested in our children. They don't have to take a class, there are no requirements except those which you take on because you want to be a good parent. No one checks up on you to make sure you are doing it right. If you are lucky you have a mom, grandma, sister, cousin or maybe even a close friend to receive feedback from. However, how you were parented affects how you parent. I think I have said that before. That could be good or bad, and again, no one is there to tell you the difference. What if you come from a dysfunctional family and your only role model was an alcoholic or severely depressed parent? How do you make things different for your child's upbringing?
On Sunday, a man spoke about his upbringing. His dad died when he was young and he and his younger brother were raised alone by his mom. He said that their basic needs were taken care of. They always had a warm meal and a bed to sleep in but his mom was not there for him emotionally and she was basically trying to survive on her own with two boys, doing the best that she could.
I bet a lot of people can identify with that kind of parent. Emotional connectedness is something that I see a lack of all the time in family therapy. The parent comes in wanting the kid "fixed". However, most of them would agree that there is something that they could do to change to become a better parent. Most of the time though, the change never happens and the parent is left frustrated not understanding why their child will not change or get better.
I spoke to someone on Sunday that said something that has a lot of wisdom. She said you get so caught up in having a baby, and buying all the baby stuff, and looking at the ultrasound picture, etc. that you don't think about the fact that you are becoming a parent for life and how exactly are you going to go about that. Usually people do not think about that until they are in crisis mode and they have 15 year old that is out of control. Or their child has an eating disorder, school problems, defiance, the list could go on and on.
But the truth be told these are all symptoms of a bigger problem. And a lot of it could be avoided if we had just spent a little more time being emotionally invested in being a parent. Not just going through the motions, providing basic needs, but communicating with our children. Taking the time to train them and discipline (ie:teach) them.
We all need a time out now and then. I know I do. But I also realize that now is the time that I start investing in my child, giving him my time even when it is inconvenient and hard. Even when I would rather be doing something else.
I don't always do it right, but I do strive to be the best parent that I can be.
On Sunday, a man spoke about his upbringing. His dad died when he was young and he and his younger brother were raised alone by his mom. He said that their basic needs were taken care of. They always had a warm meal and a bed to sleep in but his mom was not there for him emotionally and she was basically trying to survive on her own with two boys, doing the best that she could.
I bet a lot of people can identify with that kind of parent. Emotional connectedness is something that I see a lack of all the time in family therapy. The parent comes in wanting the kid "fixed". However, most of them would agree that there is something that they could do to change to become a better parent. Most of the time though, the change never happens and the parent is left frustrated not understanding why their child will not change or get better.
I spoke to someone on Sunday that said something that has a lot of wisdom. She said you get so caught up in having a baby, and buying all the baby stuff, and looking at the ultrasound picture, etc. that you don't think about the fact that you are becoming a parent for life and how exactly are you going to go about that. Usually people do not think about that until they are in crisis mode and they have 15 year old that is out of control. Or their child has an eating disorder, school problems, defiance, the list could go on and on.
But the truth be told these are all symptoms of a bigger problem. And a lot of it could be avoided if we had just spent a little more time being emotionally invested in being a parent. Not just going through the motions, providing basic needs, but communicating with our children. Taking the time to train them and discipline (ie:teach) them.
We all need a time out now and then. I know I do. But I also realize that now is the time that I start investing in my child, giving him my time even when it is inconvenient and hard. Even when I would rather be doing something else.
I don't always do it right, but I do strive to be the best parent that I can be.
Good Nights sleep!
It is amazing what a good night's sleep will do for a person! I have been working out a lot this week (still trying to figure out if I can do that darn 3-day). Anyway, I have back problems anyway and it seems when I step up my exercise, my back starts hurting. I could be doing too much too soon. Who knows. I took some ibuprofen yesterday and that seemed to make a big difference. It doesn't hurt that Carter is better and sleeping through the night again.
It is a typical saturday here at our house. I finally mopped our kitchen floor and there is some laundry in the dryer. We are going out with some friends tonight so I am looking forward to that. Carter is staying home with a sitter woo hoo!!!!!!!!!1
Be looking for more parenting posts next week. I will try and do at least one each week that deals with parenting issues.
Hope you have a great weekend!
It is a typical saturday here at our house. I finally mopped our kitchen floor and there is some laundry in the dryer. We are going out with some friends tonight so I am looking forward to that. Carter is staying home with a sitter woo hoo!!!!!!!!!1
Be looking for more parenting posts next week. I will try and do at least one each week that deals with parenting issues.
Hope you have a great weekend!
American Idol
I have never watched American Idol before this season. For one thing, my husband hates it. We have one TV upstairs, so I compromise. I have seen snippets before. Well, my mom was visiting at the start of the season where they have gotten past all the auditions and the actual 25 are on. Anyway, I have been trying to watch it as much as I can. Tuesday, dear hubby was out with his dad and I got to watch the show. I have several opinions about the singers on there. I don't understand why some performances are heralded and others are ripped to pieces.
This week, Chris Sligh got cut from the show. It was just last week that I found out he had been to Bob Jones University. If you don't know what Bob Jones is, go back to my post entitled, "Happy New Year" in January and follow the link that explains fundamentalism.
Anyway, my parents sent me to Bob Jones when I was a freshman in high school. We lived in Tennessee. Bob Jones is in South Carolina. I lived with a 20 year old and a 19 year old in the dorm. It was an okay experience but when my parents asked me if I wanted to go back for 10th grade I declined and they said okay. Part of the reason I was sent to Bob Jones is because I was basically failing 9th grade. This was after a summer of tutoring in Chattanooga, at Tennessee Temple University (which also happens to be a fundamentalist school). Anyhoo, there were a number of reasons I was struggling, lack of intelligence was not one of them, but to explain it would mean a whole other blog post. Maybe I will do one one time.
The point of me bringing this up is that I read today on MSN that Chris gave an interview to the Greenville News in SC. I read MSN and the whole newspaper article. Chris apparently was expelled from Bob Jones for going to a contemporary concert. A 4-Him concert at that. Ahh, but I remember the days, back in late 80's when one of my close friends (whose parents happened to be missionaries in Australia) had his Amy Grant tape destroyed once it was found in his possession. Ridiculous? Absolutely.
I have already written in past posts about my feelings regarding fundamentalism and my relationship with Christ. It is nothing but legalism and bondage. Again, you can check that out in my post "Happy New Year", which I wrote after my high school reunion. A reunion from a fundamentalist high school.
I was telling the gals in my mommy's group this week about my experience. A friend in there told me a little about her sister-in-laws bringing up. It was chillingly similar to mine!!! My girlfriends were amazed and I was empowered by talking about it. They were shocked at some of the things my friends went through. See, my parents were part of the church, and even though we followed "the rules", we were our own people and we had ideas and opinions about things. My dad was not a 'yes man' in the church, which is why he was never made a deacon. So, even though we had a screwed up upbringing, there were other's who were more enveloped in the movement than we were. We easily transitioned by the time I was 18 or 19. I left the church after a number of scandals, one against my best friend, were brought against good, honest people. Reputations were destroyed and lies were told. I saw a family crumble before me in the midst of untruthfulness and emotional slaughter. I was there when members of the church would call anonymously and whisper bible verses to my friends parents, telling them to 'repent'.
It was a horrible experience to go through and I was just an observer. One thing I held on to was the fact that the god that was being preached to us during this crisis was not the God of the universe. I knew, somehow, that my God, was a true God, and even though I didn't fully trust Him (due to the warped nature of my upbringing) I knew this was not Him
I left church all together for one year. I moved to a different city. I eventually found myself in a Southern Baptist church is Morristown, Tennessee. It was the beginning of my spiritual healing. Once I moved to Nashville, the Lord completely restored me emotionally.
That is why I am SO passionate about truth.
Chris Sligh, ROCK ON! As you say in your blog, frommymindtoyoureyes.blogspot.com/ you can have a relationship with Christ AND be a rock star! The two are not diametrically opposed!!
This week, Chris Sligh got cut from the show. It was just last week that I found out he had been to Bob Jones University. If you don't know what Bob Jones is, go back to my post entitled, "Happy New Year" in January and follow the link that explains fundamentalism.
Anyway, my parents sent me to Bob Jones when I was a freshman in high school. We lived in Tennessee. Bob Jones is in South Carolina. I lived with a 20 year old and a 19 year old in the dorm. It was an okay experience but when my parents asked me if I wanted to go back for 10th grade I declined and they said okay. Part of the reason I was sent to Bob Jones is because I was basically failing 9th grade. This was after a summer of tutoring in Chattanooga, at Tennessee Temple University (which also happens to be a fundamentalist school). Anyhoo, there were a number of reasons I was struggling, lack of intelligence was not one of them, but to explain it would mean a whole other blog post. Maybe I will do one one time.
The point of me bringing this up is that I read today on MSN that Chris gave an interview to the Greenville News in SC. I read MSN and the whole newspaper article. Chris apparently was expelled from Bob Jones for going to a contemporary concert. A 4-Him concert at that. Ahh, but I remember the days, back in late 80's when one of my close friends (whose parents happened to be missionaries in Australia) had his Amy Grant tape destroyed once it was found in his possession. Ridiculous? Absolutely.
I have already written in past posts about my feelings regarding fundamentalism and my relationship with Christ. It is nothing but legalism and bondage. Again, you can check that out in my post "Happy New Year", which I wrote after my high school reunion. A reunion from a fundamentalist high school.
I was telling the gals in my mommy's group this week about my experience. A friend in there told me a little about her sister-in-laws bringing up. It was chillingly similar to mine!!! My girlfriends were amazed and I was empowered by talking about it. They were shocked at some of the things my friends went through. See, my parents were part of the church, and even though we followed "the rules", we were our own people and we had ideas and opinions about things. My dad was not a 'yes man' in the church, which is why he was never made a deacon. So, even though we had a screwed up upbringing, there were other's who were more enveloped in the movement than we were. We easily transitioned by the time I was 18 or 19. I left the church after a number of scandals, one against my best friend, were brought against good, honest people. Reputations were destroyed and lies were told. I saw a family crumble before me in the midst of untruthfulness and emotional slaughter. I was there when members of the church would call anonymously and whisper bible verses to my friends parents, telling them to 'repent'.
It was a horrible experience to go through and I was just an observer. One thing I held on to was the fact that the god that was being preached to us during this crisis was not the God of the universe. I knew, somehow, that my God, was a true God, and even though I didn't fully trust Him (due to the warped nature of my upbringing) I knew this was not Him
I left church all together for one year. I moved to a different city. I eventually found myself in a Southern Baptist church is Morristown, Tennessee. It was the beginning of my spiritual healing. Once I moved to Nashville, the Lord completely restored me emotionally.
That is why I am SO passionate about truth.
Chris Sligh, ROCK ON! As you say in your blog, frommymindtoyoureyes.blogspot.com/ you can have a relationship with Christ AND be a rock star! The two are not diametrically opposed!!
It's all catching up with me.
I am pooped! The past few days have caught up with me. Carter's escapades over the weekend, Greg being sick and not sleeping well, and therefore, I am not sleeping well. And of course, the topper of them all, getting awakened at 2:30 this morning by Carter, who most likely is teething. Well, I know he is teething, why he woke up screaming at 2:30 is unknown. All I know it left me feeling tired ALL DAY.
Therefore, this post is very short.
Greg is at a hockey game with his dad and I have thoroughly enjoyed my evening alone! :-)
Love ya, honey.
Therefore, this post is very short.
Greg is at a hockey game with his dad and I have thoroughly enjoyed my evening alone! :-)
Love ya, honey.
Our weekend
This weekend we went to Montgomery Bell state park in Burns, Tennessee. Let me tell you, there is no good coffee to be found in Burns. I know, I know, I am very spoiled with my Starbucks, but it really stinks when you don't have what you are used to. Especially, coffee!
However, before I get off on the bad coffee ( I did have a great cup at a coffee house in Dickson, just up the road from Burns...) I must tell you of Greg and Susan's great adventure with Carter!
We really had a low key time, for the most part. We got off just great. Greg was a huge help in getting everything ready to go and took Carter to an errand so that I could pack everything. We expected the trip to take about an hour and a half but we did it in just over an hour. Greg kept repeating all weekend that he couldn't believe Nashville was just an hour away, it felt like we were in a completely other state.
We had lunch at the park restaurant, and it was quite yummy. We then had to take a trip to Wal-mart because someone (Me!) forgot to pack Carter's swim diapers. A trip really isn't complete without a trip to Wal-mart, now is it? We came back to the park and checked in, set up the pack and play for Carter to sleep in and tried to figure out what we were going to do the rest of the day.
We decided to go to explore a little bit and asked for directions to get there from the Inn's registration desk. Well, we never quite got to our location. I really cannot even remember what was there in the first place, something historic. We made it to downtown Dickson and then got lost, turned around and decided the town looked quite quaint and decided to walk. They have some great shops and a wonderful coffee house where I excitedly ordered a large Starbucks wanna-be coffee. We found a BBQ place to eat. Carter was doing really well in the car thanks to the portable DVD player. We get back to the park and go for a swim. The pool was indoor but it is only heated by the sun (I guess that has something to do with being in a park). Anyway, Carter would have no part in getting dipped in the frigid water. So, we went outside to the hot tub, which we all enjoyed, but only for a few minutes.
So, we get back to the room and decide to get Carter ready for bed. Greg and I had already talked about sitting outside on the balcony and reading quietly. Kind of relaxing.
We gave Carter a bath, a snack and his bedtime medication. He has a cold and is teething. He is biting EVERYTHING, and we are his favorite snack of late.
So, the moment arrives that it is time for Carter to go to bed. It is actually past his bedtime. Carter has been excited about being in a different place and exploring the room, pulling the phone off the nightstand, dialing the front desk when we weren't looking, that kind of thing. Greg and I were watching a movie while Carter was exploring. It was hard to tell if Carter was sleepy since he was soooo excited about being in a new environment. We had set up his pack and play by the bed, next to the air conditioner and window, but the crib wasn't in front of the air or anything.
So, Greg and I turn off all the lights and hold Carter and tell him its time for bed. We give him his blankie and tell him "night, night, we love you", just like we do at home. We lay him in his crib and go lay on our bed like we are going to sleep. Carter protests, and protests greatly. We ignore him, being the crying-it-out parents that we are. Carter becomes HYSTERICAL. We turn the lights back on, I pick him up. He is obviously petrified.
It dawns on me that this is the first time we have been in hotel room with Carter since he was about 7 months old and completely oblivious to his surroundings. Greg and I, being the concerned parents we are, discuss the situation. We figure it is a new environment and Carter knows we are still in the room. So after we calm him and give him his blankie and do the night ritual thing again we go HIDE in the bathroom with all the lights off. Carter protests, again. He becomes hysterical, again. We stand there in the dark bathroom trying to figure out what to do. Do we let him cry it out, do we go pick him up. There doesn't seem to be a solution to this problem. We try to put him to bed with us thinking we can just sneak him into his bed once he is sound asleep. He will have nothing of it. He wants up.
So, again, we let him up and let him have the run of the room. So, I have the bright idea to give him some milk to calm him down. So, I give him his milk and rock him in the chair, we have dimmed the lights. Carter is noticeably calmer. We know he is sleepy, its 9:30 at night, over an hour past his bedtime. I completely replicate his night ritual at home after his milk. Carter is so calm when I put him down. I caress his face and tousle his hair, just like I do every night and repeat the all familiar words, "night, night, I love you". I leave the pack and play and not a peep out of Carter. I tell Greg to turn the TV off for fear of there being too much light in the room. I creep over to the bed. Greg and I collectively are holding our breath.
We did it.
We exhale just about the time we hear Carter peep. And then we see this head pop up. He is up and he is not happy. He is crying again. I go over to console him without picking him up. It seems to be working. He is lying there so tired. And it looks like it is going to work.
Nope. The screaming starts again. I start crying. I am at my wits end. Here we are trying to have a relaxing weekend, and this happens. I worry about the other people at the Inn. We finally decide we are going to have to take extreme measures.
We then did something that I thought we would never do as parents.
We got dressed, took Carter, strapped him into his car seat and proceeded to drive around Montgomery Bell Park at 10:15 at night to get our child to sleep. Let me give you the time line of how long it took Carter to fall asleep in the car...
10:15 -we start moving
10:16 - Carter asleep.
So that part was easy. The hard part was going to be getting him back to the room all the while staying asleep. We had already assessed this task as difficult, seeing as how we have to pass through two, very loud, automatic doors to get back in the Inn. Luckily we found another entrance that was open. Greg and I already had a game plan about who was going to bring him in and who would park the car. I felt very much part of a team going through this. I felt like we were in the throes of a football game and only had few seconds to come up with a new game plan. Who knew if it would work? We decided it would take the two of us navigating the doors to successfully bring him back in still sleeping soundly. It really was quite funny seeing two grown adults being totally controlled by their child. This little 32 inch bundle had us in the palm of his hand.
Well, I have to say that Carter was so tired that we got him back in the room without incident. And he stayed asleep in his crib. Greg and I got ready for bed. Any thoughts of doing anything we discussed earlier were out of the question. We were exhausted from this ordeal and just wanted to go to sleep. We had just gotten down for the night and Carter wakes up. AGAIN! Screaming. We lie there just for a minute but it is obvious he is not going back to sleep.
I have visions of us having to leave to Inn. I thought, if he doesn't go to sleep we might as well go home. I could see us up at 2:00 am checking out because Carter wouldn't go to sleep in a strange place.
Luckily, I was able to pick him up and console him. He fell fast asleep again within minutes and stayed asleep the rest of the night.
We had an okay nights sleep. The mattress wasn't that great. We were in a double bed because all the King rooms had been taken. Also, Greg has been sick the past couple of days with a cold and he got up a couple of times. I kept waking up every few minutes so I was very glad when Carter woke up at 7:30 in the morning and we could get up.
Greg and I have decided that the next overnight trip out of town Carter is staying with someone else. And we won't be staying with him in a hotel again for a very long time.
I do have to say that Carter was still so pooped from his escapades from the night before that he took an early nap in the car and Greg and I were able to get on the Natchez Trace parkway and enjoy an extra long drive home.
In peace and quiet!!!!!!!!!!!!
However, before I get off on the bad coffee ( I did have a great cup at a coffee house in Dickson, just up the road from Burns...) I must tell you of Greg and Susan's great adventure with Carter!
We really had a low key time, for the most part. We got off just great. Greg was a huge help in getting everything ready to go and took Carter to an errand so that I could pack everything. We expected the trip to take about an hour and a half but we did it in just over an hour. Greg kept repeating all weekend that he couldn't believe Nashville was just an hour away, it felt like we were in a completely other state.
We had lunch at the park restaurant, and it was quite yummy. We then had to take a trip to Wal-mart because someone (Me!) forgot to pack Carter's swim diapers. A trip really isn't complete without a trip to Wal-mart, now is it? We came back to the park and checked in, set up the pack and play for Carter to sleep in and tried to figure out what we were going to do the rest of the day.
We decided to go to explore a little bit and asked for directions to get there from the Inn's registration desk. Well, we never quite got to our location. I really cannot even remember what was there in the first place, something historic. We made it to downtown Dickson and then got lost, turned around and decided the town looked quite quaint and decided to walk. They have some great shops and a wonderful coffee house where I excitedly ordered a large Starbucks wanna-be coffee. We found a BBQ place to eat. Carter was doing really well in the car thanks to the portable DVD player. We get back to the park and go for a swim. The pool was indoor but it is only heated by the sun (I guess that has something to do with being in a park). Anyway, Carter would have no part in getting dipped in the frigid water. So, we went outside to the hot tub, which we all enjoyed, but only for a few minutes.
So, we get back to the room and decide to get Carter ready for bed. Greg and I had already talked about sitting outside on the balcony and reading quietly. Kind of relaxing.
We gave Carter a bath, a snack and his bedtime medication. He has a cold and is teething. He is biting EVERYTHING, and we are his favorite snack of late.
So, the moment arrives that it is time for Carter to go to bed. It is actually past his bedtime. Carter has been excited about being in a different place and exploring the room, pulling the phone off the nightstand, dialing the front desk when we weren't looking, that kind of thing. Greg and I were watching a movie while Carter was exploring. It was hard to tell if Carter was sleepy since he was soooo excited about being in a new environment. We had set up his pack and play by the bed, next to the air conditioner and window, but the crib wasn't in front of the air or anything.
So, Greg and I turn off all the lights and hold Carter and tell him its time for bed. We give him his blankie and tell him "night, night, we love you", just like we do at home. We lay him in his crib and go lay on our bed like we are going to sleep. Carter protests, and protests greatly. We ignore him, being the crying-it-out parents that we are. Carter becomes HYSTERICAL. We turn the lights back on, I pick him up. He is obviously petrified.
It dawns on me that this is the first time we have been in hotel room with Carter since he was about 7 months old and completely oblivious to his surroundings. Greg and I, being the concerned parents we are, discuss the situation. We figure it is a new environment and Carter knows we are still in the room. So after we calm him and give him his blankie and do the night ritual thing again we go HIDE in the bathroom with all the lights off. Carter protests, again. He becomes hysterical, again. We stand there in the dark bathroom trying to figure out what to do. Do we let him cry it out, do we go pick him up. There doesn't seem to be a solution to this problem. We try to put him to bed with us thinking we can just sneak him into his bed once he is sound asleep. He will have nothing of it. He wants up.
So, again, we let him up and let him have the run of the room. So, I have the bright idea to give him some milk to calm him down. So, I give him his milk and rock him in the chair, we have dimmed the lights. Carter is noticeably calmer. We know he is sleepy, its 9:30 at night, over an hour past his bedtime. I completely replicate his night ritual at home after his milk. Carter is so calm when I put him down. I caress his face and tousle his hair, just like I do every night and repeat the all familiar words, "night, night, I love you". I leave the pack and play and not a peep out of Carter. I tell Greg to turn the TV off for fear of there being too much light in the room. I creep over to the bed. Greg and I collectively are holding our breath.
We did it.
We exhale just about the time we hear Carter peep. And then we see this head pop up. He is up and he is not happy. He is crying again. I go over to console him without picking him up. It seems to be working. He is lying there so tired. And it looks like it is going to work.
Nope. The screaming starts again. I start crying. I am at my wits end. Here we are trying to have a relaxing weekend, and this happens. I worry about the other people at the Inn. We finally decide we are going to have to take extreme measures.
We then did something that I thought we would never do as parents.
We got dressed, took Carter, strapped him into his car seat and proceeded to drive around Montgomery Bell Park at 10:15 at night to get our child to sleep. Let me give you the time line of how long it took Carter to fall asleep in the car...
10:15 -we start moving
10:16 - Carter asleep.
So that part was easy. The hard part was going to be getting him back to the room all the while staying asleep. We had already assessed this task as difficult, seeing as how we have to pass through two, very loud, automatic doors to get back in the Inn. Luckily we found another entrance that was open. Greg and I already had a game plan about who was going to bring him in and who would park the car. I felt very much part of a team going through this. I felt like we were in the throes of a football game and only had few seconds to come up with a new game plan. Who knew if it would work? We decided it would take the two of us navigating the doors to successfully bring him back in still sleeping soundly. It really was quite funny seeing two grown adults being totally controlled by their child. This little 32 inch bundle had us in the palm of his hand.
Well, I have to say that Carter was so tired that we got him back in the room without incident. And he stayed asleep in his crib. Greg and I got ready for bed. Any thoughts of doing anything we discussed earlier were out of the question. We were exhausted from this ordeal and just wanted to go to sleep. We had just gotten down for the night and Carter wakes up. AGAIN! Screaming. We lie there just for a minute but it is obvious he is not going back to sleep.
I have visions of us having to leave to Inn. I thought, if he doesn't go to sleep we might as well go home. I could see us up at 2:00 am checking out because Carter wouldn't go to sleep in a strange place.
Luckily, I was able to pick him up and console him. He fell fast asleep again within minutes and stayed asleep the rest of the night.
We had an okay nights sleep. The mattress wasn't that great. We were in a double bed because all the King rooms had been taken. Also, Greg has been sick the past couple of days with a cold and he got up a couple of times. I kept waking up every few minutes so I was very glad when Carter woke up at 7:30 in the morning and we could get up.
Greg and I have decided that the next overnight trip out of town Carter is staying with someone else. And we won't be staying with him in a hotel again for a very long time.
I do have to say that Carter was still so pooped from his escapades from the night before that he took an early nap in the car and Greg and I were able to get on the Natchez Trace parkway and enjoy an extra long drive home.
In peace and quiet!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know what is up with me today
Carter has been sick and VERY clingy this morning. Would not take a morning nap, even after medication. I hate that he feels bad, but at the same time, it is frustrating not being able to console your child or figure out what is wrong with him. Finally, he napped after lunch and is still napping!!!
I have been in a yucky mood for several days now. Don't know why? Hormones? Maybe. Don't we always blame it on the hormones?
Tomorrow is Greg's birthday and we are going to a state park and spending the night. Believe me, it is a nice state park and we are staying in an Inn. Didn't you read my last post? I don't do tents! :-) We are bringing Carter, so I hope he starts to feeling better. I have not started packing yet. It almost doesn't seem worth it to go somewhere for all the packing preparation you have to go through to take a one year old along! I do have to say it gets better with time. Before we would have had to pack two bags just for all his stuff and bottled water for formula, etc. Its nice that he eats just like us now!
I will get back to parenting stuff next week. Enjoy the break. I have ordered Erickson's book on development. I learned about him all through college and grad school. But who remembers all that stuff!
It's really funny because you go to school to learn and I am familiar with Erickson and his life cycle of development. It is pretty crucial and, I feel, very accurate. Most psychologists, LCSW's, LPC's refer to it when they are talking about being "stuck" somewhere in a person's development, or not having your needs met during a specific time in your development. What is funny is that now that I am out of school and wanting to do more parenting seminars, etc. I have to order his book and re-read it and learn about it all over again. It's like we cram all this information into our brain to make an "A" on a test and then don't think anymore about it. I also have a difficult time retaining knowledge. Unless I repeat every week, it tends to get lost in the brain somewhere and I am vaguely familiar with it. It's sad really. I really don't like smart people.
I am fascinated with how the brain works, how we develop, how much nurture there is and how much nature...the timeless debate. I need to ask my mom about my birth again. Apparently, I had a difficult birth. I was blue when I came out, not breathing. I had been stuck on my mom's pelvic bone. My mom mentioned recently about the doctor's telling her about my condition and telling her it probably wasn't going to be a good situation, but I need the whole story. I don't know if my birth has anything to do with my retaining problems and I don't guess I will ever know. But it is fascinating to me. My poor mom should have had a C-section for all three of her deliveries! Crazy.
I'll tell you more on that later.
I have been in a yucky mood for several days now. Don't know why? Hormones? Maybe. Don't we always blame it on the hormones?
Tomorrow is Greg's birthday and we are going to a state park and spending the night. Believe me, it is a nice state park and we are staying in an Inn. Didn't you read my last post? I don't do tents! :-) We are bringing Carter, so I hope he starts to feeling better. I have not started packing yet. It almost doesn't seem worth it to go somewhere for all the packing preparation you have to go through to take a one year old along! I do have to say it gets better with time. Before we would have had to pack two bags just for all his stuff and bottled water for formula, etc. Its nice that he eats just like us now!
I will get back to parenting stuff next week. Enjoy the break. I have ordered Erickson's book on development. I learned about him all through college and grad school. But who remembers all that stuff!
It's really funny because you go to school to learn and I am familiar with Erickson and his life cycle of development. It is pretty crucial and, I feel, very accurate. Most psychologists, LCSW's, LPC's refer to it when they are talking about being "stuck" somewhere in a person's development, or not having your needs met during a specific time in your development. What is funny is that now that I am out of school and wanting to do more parenting seminars, etc. I have to order his book and re-read it and learn about it all over again. It's like we cram all this information into our brain to make an "A" on a test and then don't think anymore about it. I also have a difficult time retaining knowledge. Unless I repeat every week, it tends to get lost in the brain somewhere and I am vaguely familiar with it. It's sad really. I really don't like smart people.
I am fascinated with how the brain works, how we develop, how much nurture there is and how much nature...the timeless debate. I need to ask my mom about my birth again. Apparently, I had a difficult birth. I was blue when I came out, not breathing. I had been stuck on my mom's pelvic bone. My mom mentioned recently about the doctor's telling her about my condition and telling her it probably wasn't going to be a good situation, but I need the whole story. I don't know if my birth has anything to do with my retaining problems and I don't guess I will ever know. But it is fascinating to me. My poor mom should have had a C-section for all three of her deliveries! Crazy.
I'll tell you more on that later.
Free Day!
Thank God for grandparents! That is all I have to say. It is spring break this week so no weekday school for Carter. Tuesday I had a mommy's lunch, which was a lot of fun. Today, Carter is at Grannie and Grandpa Mayo's house!! Woo Hoo!! I dropped him off and went to work out at the YMCA. I am very proud of myself, I did 25 minutes on the elliptical machine. Again, Woo Hoo!!!!! I warmed up, lifted weights and did the cardio. I have an appointment at 2:00 for a pedicure. I am soooooo excited. I am FREE...for today. :-)
My friend Lisa has this absurd idea to do the Atlanta 3-day walk for breast cancer awareness this October. It is a THREE day walk, 20 miles a day!!!!!!!!! That is a total of 60 miles in three days. Yeah, I know!!!! Here is the link to the website. They have them all around the country. www.the3day.org
Anyway, I am working hard to get in shape and she was telling me all about this and I thought what a better way to get into shape than to have a goal in mind. This way, I would definitely make it to the gym. It is something to hold me accountable. I kind of got excited. I told my friend that even if I didn't do it, I would help her raise money so I am going to link her website. It probably doesn't take you long to think of someone who has suffered from breast cancer, and it may be someone very close to you. So even if you can't participate in something like this you can always find ways to give. Here is the link to Lisa's website. https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=202305&supid=167726764 . I hope it works.
So the funny thing about this is that I was kind of getting excited about the possibility of doing this. Once I start something I usually don't quit, especially something like this. And Lisa told me if you can't walk the 20 miles per day, that's okay, it is just a goal. But see, I would have to do the 20 miles a day, I would want to know that I could do this. I have the time to train, they show you how to train, etc.
So I come home and look it up online. I am still excited. Then I read the part about sleeping in a tent for two nights. Apparently, it is all about "community" and sharing in this experience. Oh, and then I was reading about the safety tips, when to shower, eat after you walk, etc. Then it mentioned how your tent might be hot and if you don't hydrate and get nourishment you could pass out.
Let me pause her so that my friends that really know me can chuckle a little bit. You see, I am a bit of a...well, how can I put this and not make myself look like a Diva. Uhm, I really don't like the outdoors. I don't like to go camping. I don't like sleeping in a tent. I like electricity. I don't like to be overheated and I like amenities. Okay, get the picture??? Apparently, I don't like canoeing either (found that out when I was pregnant). Oh, and I really don't like to undress in front of other people. Or shower in front of other people. I don't care if you are a women and we have all the same parts, I don't care. I just am not comfortable walking around naked in front of other people.
So, I emailed my friend and I told her, if I am doing this, I am NOT staying in a tent! I hear a nice, PRIVATE, hotel room with a bath TUB calling my name. Hello! Who could walk another 20 miles without even soaking in a tub. I am sorry, but there is NO WAY! So then, my friend responds telling me that I am funny (yeah, I am really funny). She then mentions how it isn't how she would like to spend the weekend either but as long as there is a cot to sleep on and a toilet to use, even if it is a port-a-potty , she figures she will be so exhausted that she won't care.
My response.... PORT-A-POTTY????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????
Um, yeah. IF I do this (and it really is a big if) I will have my hiney in a hotel room.
I know it should all be about racing for the cure, and that is really what is important, but can't we have a few nice amenities, too?????
My friend Lisa has this absurd idea to do the Atlanta 3-day walk for breast cancer awareness this October. It is a THREE day walk, 20 miles a day!!!!!!!!! That is a total of 60 miles in three days. Yeah, I know!!!! Here is the link to the website. They have them all around the country. www.the3day.org
Anyway, I am working hard to get in shape and she was telling me all about this and I thought what a better way to get into shape than to have a goal in mind. This way, I would definitely make it to the gym. It is something to hold me accountable. I kind of got excited. I told my friend that even if I didn't do it, I would help her raise money so I am going to link her website. It probably doesn't take you long to think of someone who has suffered from breast cancer, and it may be someone very close to you. So even if you can't participate in something like this you can always find ways to give. Here is the link to Lisa's website. https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=202305&supid=167726764 . I hope it works.
So the funny thing about this is that I was kind of getting excited about the possibility of doing this. Once I start something I usually don't quit, especially something like this. And Lisa told me if you can't walk the 20 miles per day, that's okay, it is just a goal. But see, I would have to do the 20 miles a day, I would want to know that I could do this. I have the time to train, they show you how to train, etc.
So I come home and look it up online. I am still excited. Then I read the part about sleeping in a tent for two nights. Apparently, it is all about "community" and sharing in this experience. Oh, and then I was reading about the safety tips, when to shower, eat after you walk, etc. Then it mentioned how your tent might be hot and if you don't hydrate and get nourishment you could pass out.
Let me pause her so that my friends that really know me can chuckle a little bit. You see, I am a bit of a...well, how can I put this and not make myself look like a Diva. Uhm, I really don't like the outdoors. I don't like to go camping. I don't like sleeping in a tent. I like electricity. I don't like to be overheated and I like amenities. Okay, get the picture??? Apparently, I don't like canoeing either (found that out when I was pregnant). Oh, and I really don't like to undress in front of other people. Or shower in front of other people. I don't care if you are a women and we have all the same parts, I don't care. I just am not comfortable walking around naked in front of other people.
So, I emailed my friend and I told her, if I am doing this, I am NOT staying in a tent! I hear a nice, PRIVATE, hotel room with a bath TUB calling my name. Hello! Who could walk another 20 miles without even soaking in a tub. I am sorry, but there is NO WAY! So then, my friend responds telling me that I am funny (yeah, I am really funny). She then mentions how it isn't how she would like to spend the weekend either but as long as there is a cot to sleep on and a toilet to use, even if it is a port-a-potty , she figures she will be so exhausted that she won't care.
My response.... PORT-A-POTTY????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????
Um, yeah. IF I do this (and it really is a big if) I will have my hiney in a hotel room.
I know it should all be about racing for the cure, and that is really what is important, but can't we have a few nice amenities, too?????
Your Family/Your Self
I know I kind of left a weird ending to the blog last night. You see, when I was in college, I had a psychology class, or a human services class, don't remember the exact name, but it was my first introduction into family systems. The professor at that time was a Marriage and Family Therapist, he was on staff at Carson-Newman College, my Alma mater. His name is William Blevins. The title of our textbook, which happened to be written by Dr. Blevins, was entitled, Your Family/Your Self. It was an amazing class. How you parent begins with how you were parented, your family. It is all inter-related. Tied together. Whether you believe it or not. There is much research behind it. But everyone has the power to change HOW their family affected them. That is the wonderful thing about learning about family systems and exploring your background. It helps you understand HOW you want to change things, if anything at all!
Your Family/Your Self was written in a way that you could use it as a textbook, you could read it and learn more about your family, and why you function the way that you function, or if you really wanted to take it to the next level, you could actually perform the exercises in the book and basically, it was like going through therapy. Every week, 2-3 times a week we met with Dr. Blevins in class. He explained everything and gave us "homework", which were the exercises from his book. Here is a link to the book on Amazon.com. I just looked it up to see if it was on there. http://www.amazon.com/Your-Family-Self-William-Blevins/dp/1879237539/ref=sr_1_5/104-2306550-2559126?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1174497887&sr=1-5
This class was eye opening to me. I had no problem coming to this class and completing the work because I was, in essence, working on ME. For the first time, I was understanding why I felt the way I did about my family. Why we did things the way that we did. I was fascinated. Even if you have never taken a psychology class, this book is easy to read and understand and it will take you on a wonderful journey. I think I am going to order the updated version to see if there is any more recent stuff in there. This will be a great resource manual to me. I am sitting here looking at my copy from when I was in college. I have kept it after all these years, probably close to 8-9 years!!!
In 1998 I graduated with a B.A. in Applied Psychology and in Human Services, a double major. No, I wasn't really that smart. I was going to get a minor in App. Psych, but had so many classes in it already that my advisor told me I should just go ahead with a double major. After my B.A. I was accepted into the college of social work at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville, Nashville location. Yes, that is how they put it. Basically, UT has had a social work program in Nashville since the late 1930's (I think). In 2000, I graduated with my Master's of Science in Social Work. My move to Nashville was the best thing I have ever done in my life. I would like to say that I was living very close to the Lord at that time and I felt the call from Him to move. I was still struggling spiritually at the time I moved to Nashville. And to be honest, I had to pick which program I wanted on the application, Knoxville, Nashville or Memphis. I can still remember the day I chose Nashville. I just wanted them to assign me somewhere but I couldn't do it that way. I thought to myself (after thinking it over for many days) Lord, if you want me in Nashville I guess I will get in. And I did. Even though I was not walking closely with God, God knew my heart and knew I was trying the best that I could at the time, God was still faithful. He knew my spiritual awakening and healing would occur here. He knew my future husband awaited me here. He knew the ministry that I am starting would be here, in Nashville, Tennessee.
Dr. Blevins class allowed me to see what social work was all about, even though he is a marriage and family therapist. Both sciences look at families as systems. And my degree at Carson-Newman prepared me well for my first year of graduate school.
From the time that I did my first internship at a day treatment center for adolescents in the 1990's to my last job as a child therapist working in a school in 2006, I have never stopped learning about who I am and how I relate to others around me. I still have a long way to go. I do have a lot more head knowledge about families, systems, parenting, structure. But now that I am a parent I want to make sure that I don't create the same mistakes my family did (we all make mistakes). Some mistakes are just more detrimental to those around us. I am happy I have the family that I have. It has shaped me to be who I am. I like who I am. I like who I am becoming. It is a journey that will never end until I take my last breath. I just want my son, Carter to have a different experience than I did.
And I guess the crux to all this is, I have the power as a parent to shape my son to be autonomous, healthy and whole, or I also have the power to be toxic, unhealthy, and inappropriate toward my son, which would not help him become autonomous and the best individual he could be. Being awake and conscious of the power you have as a parent is crucial in how you parent!
You are a system, not a vacuum. Remember that! And thanks, Dr. Blevins, for being a great teacher, where ever you are! I don't know if I ever thanked you for that introduction into myself! I really appreciate it.
Your Family/Your Self was written in a way that you could use it as a textbook, you could read it and learn more about your family, and why you function the way that you function, or if you really wanted to take it to the next level, you could actually perform the exercises in the book and basically, it was like going through therapy. Every week, 2-3 times a week we met with Dr. Blevins in class. He explained everything and gave us "homework", which were the exercises from his book. Here is a link to the book on Amazon.com. I just looked it up to see if it was on there. http://www.amazon.com/Your-Family-Self-William-Blevins/dp/1879237539/ref=sr_1_5/104-2306550-2559126?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1174497887&sr=1-5
This class was eye opening to me. I had no problem coming to this class and completing the work because I was, in essence, working on ME. For the first time, I was understanding why I felt the way I did about my family. Why we did things the way that we did. I was fascinated. Even if you have never taken a psychology class, this book is easy to read and understand and it will take you on a wonderful journey. I think I am going to order the updated version to see if there is any more recent stuff in there. This will be a great resource manual to me. I am sitting here looking at my copy from when I was in college. I have kept it after all these years, probably close to 8-9 years!!!
In 1998 I graduated with a B.A. in Applied Psychology and in Human Services, a double major. No, I wasn't really that smart. I was going to get a minor in App. Psych, but had so many classes in it already that my advisor told me I should just go ahead with a double major. After my B.A. I was accepted into the college of social work at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville, Nashville location. Yes, that is how they put it. Basically, UT has had a social work program in Nashville since the late 1930's (I think). In 2000, I graduated with my Master's of Science in Social Work. My move to Nashville was the best thing I have ever done in my life. I would like to say that I was living very close to the Lord at that time and I felt the call from Him to move. I was still struggling spiritually at the time I moved to Nashville. And to be honest, I had to pick which program I wanted on the application, Knoxville, Nashville or Memphis. I can still remember the day I chose Nashville. I just wanted them to assign me somewhere but I couldn't do it that way. I thought to myself (after thinking it over for many days) Lord, if you want me in Nashville I guess I will get in. And I did. Even though I was not walking closely with God, God knew my heart and knew I was trying the best that I could at the time, God was still faithful. He knew my spiritual awakening and healing would occur here. He knew my future husband awaited me here. He knew the ministry that I am starting would be here, in Nashville, Tennessee.
Dr. Blevins class allowed me to see what social work was all about, even though he is a marriage and family therapist. Both sciences look at families as systems. And my degree at Carson-Newman prepared me well for my first year of graduate school.
From the time that I did my first internship at a day treatment center for adolescents in the 1990's to my last job as a child therapist working in a school in 2006, I have never stopped learning about who I am and how I relate to others around me. I still have a long way to go. I do have a lot more head knowledge about families, systems, parenting, structure. But now that I am a parent I want to make sure that I don't create the same mistakes my family did (we all make mistakes). Some mistakes are just more detrimental to those around us. I am happy I have the family that I have. It has shaped me to be who I am. I like who I am. I like who I am becoming. It is a journey that will never end until I take my last breath. I just want my son, Carter to have a different experience than I did.
And I guess the crux to all this is, I have the power as a parent to shape my son to be autonomous, healthy and whole, or I also have the power to be toxic, unhealthy, and inappropriate toward my son, which would not help him become autonomous and the best individual he could be. Being awake and conscious of the power you have as a parent is crucial in how you parent!
You are a system, not a vacuum. Remember that! And thanks, Dr. Blevins, for being a great teacher, where ever you are! I don't know if I ever thanked you for that introduction into myself! I really appreciate it.
Time for a change
Don't worry. I haven't given up on being a stay at home mom yet. That is not the change I am talking about. I need to change my focus on this blog. Greg and I had lunch with a friend last week, Henry. Henry has been on stage, well, practically his whole life. He and his wife Elizabeth have a handsome boy named Pierce. Pierce has spina bifida. Anyway, Henry has started speaking about his life with Elizabeth and the journey they are on with Pierce. If you want to read more about their lives and if you need an inspiring speaker, give Henry a call. Here is a link to his website. http://www.henryjernigan.com/.
Anway, at this lunch I was specifically talking with Henry because he has been on stage, he has been in the background promoting, marketing. He has A LOT of experience and I felt I could glean from his wisdom. I know he feels like he did a alot of talking but I was listening and I feel that God was speaking to me through him.
One of the things that I hear over and over is "you need to write". Which is part of the reason I have a blog. The only thing is, I seldom blog. I need to blog on an almost daily basis. Okay, I know, I need to be blogging DAILY! I need to write more about the parenting stuff I want to do. Share some of my experience. So that is what I intend to do.
Don't worry. There will be plenty about Carter and being at home with him. But I want to focus on more of what I feel God is sharing with me, how He is growing me, and how, hopefully, I am being obedient and He is being glorified. I also want to write more on parenting. How I got to where I am. How the way I was parented shaped the person I am today, the good and the bad. And hopefully show you how you can be a better parent!
So, if you see me seriously slacking on the blog, let me know. If you want to hear something specific about parenting issues, let me know. My next blog I will explain a little more about my professional background and why I am even talking about helping you become a better parent.
It all starts with your family and your self....
Anway, at this lunch I was specifically talking with Henry because he has been on stage, he has been in the background promoting, marketing. He has A LOT of experience and I felt I could glean from his wisdom. I know he feels like he did a alot of talking but I was listening and I feel that God was speaking to me through him.
One of the things that I hear over and over is "you need to write". Which is part of the reason I have a blog. The only thing is, I seldom blog. I need to blog on an almost daily basis. Okay, I know, I need to be blogging DAILY! I need to write more about the parenting stuff I want to do. Share some of my experience. So that is what I intend to do.
Don't worry. There will be plenty about Carter and being at home with him. But I want to focus on more of what I feel God is sharing with me, how He is growing me, and how, hopefully, I am being obedient and He is being glorified. I also want to write more on parenting. How I got to where I am. How the way I was parented shaped the person I am today, the good and the bad. And hopefully show you how you can be a better parent!
So, if you see me seriously slacking on the blog, let me know. If you want to hear something specific about parenting issues, let me know. My next blog I will explain a little more about my professional background and why I am even talking about helping you become a better parent.
It all starts with your family and your self....
A stay at home, what?????
If I had written a post about two weeks ago, you would have been reading about my woes as a stay home mom. I was frustrated, tired, mopey, moody and wondering what I got myself into. Apparently, I will probably go through this about once a month. Its called PMS! Ha!
Now, all is right with the world again and I am extremely busy. Not just with being at home with Carter but my work at the church. Tuesdays, which is today, are exhausting for me. Getting up and out of the house is stressful. Making sure I have everything prepared for the Moms group that I lead at 9:30 along with getting Carter ready, fed, dressed, and food prepared for his day since he is in weekday school (AKA: mother's day out). Then after mommy's group I volunteer in the counseling ministry office for a couple of hours working on organizing some stuff in there. Right now I am working on a community resource guide for the director since we refer a lot of people out to other counselors in the community.
Wednesday nights are getting even busier. I was supposed to teach a class Wednesday nights but only one person came. But the good thing is, I am now starting to counsel more kids on Wednesday nights and that is filling that time up.
Another part of ministry that became very evident this past week was in conversations with dear friends. Praying for friends going through a rough spot, difficult pregnancies and hearing praises from other friends. I love being in the center of God's will. Right now I feel like I am doing what I have been called to do and I just want to stay right there. I know I won't be able to, that's all part of growth. And then there is the whole failing and being human part. I just pray that where ever the Lord is taking me on this journey that I surrender and stay faithful. I would hate to miss out on what God has in store for me and the ministry I am involved in.
As draining as being involved in ministry gets me, I wouldn't trade this spot where I am right now for anything else in the world. When I talk about being drained, I am more drained emotionally than physically. Since I am not a naturally extroverted person, leading people in a discussion for 2 hours kind of drains me. Praying over babies, marriages, and ministry is draining. Having all these ideas for ministry running around in my mind is draining! Wondering how it is all going to fall into place is draining.
But coming before the Lord with my requests and calling on him for my strength and sustenance where I can lay all my requests out to God is REFRESHMENT! It replenishes my soul. It allows me to keep going. It affirms my faith. It affirms my purpose, which is ultimately to worship the Lord! That keeps it all in line.
That and a good, long soak in the tub! That's where I am headed!
Yep, just when I thought I was going to start losing it, everything aligns back up and all is right with the world. Well, at least for the next couple of weeks! LOL!
Now, all is right with the world again and I am extremely busy. Not just with being at home with Carter but my work at the church. Tuesdays, which is today, are exhausting for me. Getting up and out of the house is stressful. Making sure I have everything prepared for the Moms group that I lead at 9:30 along with getting Carter ready, fed, dressed, and food prepared for his day since he is in weekday school (AKA: mother's day out). Then after mommy's group I volunteer in the counseling ministry office for a couple of hours working on organizing some stuff in there. Right now I am working on a community resource guide for the director since we refer a lot of people out to other counselors in the community.
Wednesday nights are getting even busier. I was supposed to teach a class Wednesday nights but only one person came. But the good thing is, I am now starting to counsel more kids on Wednesday nights and that is filling that time up.
Another part of ministry that became very evident this past week was in conversations with dear friends. Praying for friends going through a rough spot, difficult pregnancies and hearing praises from other friends. I love being in the center of God's will. Right now I feel like I am doing what I have been called to do and I just want to stay right there. I know I won't be able to, that's all part of growth. And then there is the whole failing and being human part. I just pray that where ever the Lord is taking me on this journey that I surrender and stay faithful. I would hate to miss out on what God has in store for me and the ministry I am involved in.
As draining as being involved in ministry gets me, I wouldn't trade this spot where I am right now for anything else in the world. When I talk about being drained, I am more drained emotionally than physically. Since I am not a naturally extroverted person, leading people in a discussion for 2 hours kind of drains me. Praying over babies, marriages, and ministry is draining. Having all these ideas for ministry running around in my mind is draining! Wondering how it is all going to fall into place is draining.
But coming before the Lord with my requests and calling on him for my strength and sustenance where I can lay all my requests out to God is REFRESHMENT! It replenishes my soul. It allows me to keep going. It affirms my faith. It affirms my purpose, which is ultimately to worship the Lord! That keeps it all in line.
That and a good, long soak in the tub! That's where I am headed!
Yep, just when I thought I was going to start losing it, everything aligns back up and all is right with the world. Well, at least for the next couple of weeks! LOL!
Home, at last
I have officially, officially been a stay at home mom for over two weeks now. I am no longer sad about leaving my counseling position. It was very difficult, but I know it was what I was supposed to do. So, some of you might be asking yourself, " I wonder how Susan is doing...?"
I am managing staying at home just fine for right now. I have to say, dare I say, I am enjoying myself. I love not having the pressure of having to get up and have a schedule, except Carter's schedule. I do love spending the time with Carter and working on challenging him and seeing him develop and grow. And I LOVE naptime! Ah, that is true mommy time! And next to naptime, I LOVE bedtime, Carter's bedtime! Ah, that is mommy and daddy time. Adult conversation and interaction. It is great.
Having a one year old keeps a person very, very busy. That is an understatement. There is no time to be bored when you are running around the house trying to keep your son out of the toilet water, trying to get him to eat, and trying to hold him down to change his diaper. I swear sometimes I feel like I am trying to lasso a bull! Once I get that diaper on I raise my hands and call "time!". It really is quite hilarious. And I have to say, Greg changing Carter's diaper is even more hilarious. We have that on video.
Speaking of Greg, he knows when it is time for me to get out of the house. I come into his office (he works from home) and I stare blankly at him for a few minutes. I make sure he doesn't have any meetings and Carter is down for a nap. I tell him I am going to pick up a gallon of milk. I then leave and return two hours later, with no milk.
Tuesday mornings are my most hectic morning, next to Sunday, due to my mommy's group and volunteering at the church. But other than that, depending on when Carter wakes up, I can sit and drink my coffee, have my devotions (very rare to have in the mornings unless I want the Teletubbies as my backgroupd "worship" music, just kidding, of course). I either have my devotions during Carter's naptime (true peace and quiet) or at night. And I can go to water aerobics at the Y at 8:30 AM, if I am so inclined! Or I can sit in my bathrobe until noon with my hair all askew from not showering. I really try not to do this often.
And Mr. Carter keeps me hopping! There is no time to be bored. I am tired, though, by the end of the day. Up and down, down and up. Change diapers, feed Carter, give bath, retrieve toy out of toilet, rescue Zoe, the cat, from a Carter hug, retrieve Carter from litter box, feed Carter....ah, the joys of toddlerhood. I am not just tired, I am EXHAUSTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, so far, things are going great. We are still adjusting to everything, but I think this is going to work out just fine. Ask me in a couple of weeks how I am doing. It may change. If you notice my hair is askew, I have no make-up on, and it seems that I have not showered in several days, you may want to pull me aside and tell me I am in desperate need of a night out. Believe me, I will take you up on it!
I am managing staying at home just fine for right now. I have to say, dare I say, I am enjoying myself. I love not having the pressure of having to get up and have a schedule, except Carter's schedule. I do love spending the time with Carter and working on challenging him and seeing him develop and grow. And I LOVE naptime! Ah, that is true mommy time! And next to naptime, I LOVE bedtime, Carter's bedtime! Ah, that is mommy and daddy time. Adult conversation and interaction. It is great.
Having a one year old keeps a person very, very busy. That is an understatement. There is no time to be bored when you are running around the house trying to keep your son out of the toilet water, trying to get him to eat, and trying to hold him down to change his diaper. I swear sometimes I feel like I am trying to lasso a bull! Once I get that diaper on I raise my hands and call "time!". It really is quite hilarious. And I have to say, Greg changing Carter's diaper is even more hilarious. We have that on video.
Speaking of Greg, he knows when it is time for me to get out of the house. I come into his office (he works from home) and I stare blankly at him for a few minutes. I make sure he doesn't have any meetings and Carter is down for a nap. I tell him I am going to pick up a gallon of milk. I then leave and return two hours later, with no milk.
Tuesday mornings are my most hectic morning, next to Sunday, due to my mommy's group and volunteering at the church. But other than that, depending on when Carter wakes up, I can sit and drink my coffee, have my devotions (very rare to have in the mornings unless I want the Teletubbies as my backgroupd "worship" music, just kidding, of course). I either have my devotions during Carter's naptime (true peace and quiet) or at night. And I can go to water aerobics at the Y at 8:30 AM, if I am so inclined! Or I can sit in my bathrobe until noon with my hair all askew from not showering. I really try not to do this often.
And Mr. Carter keeps me hopping! There is no time to be bored. I am tired, though, by the end of the day. Up and down, down and up. Change diapers, feed Carter, give bath, retrieve toy out of toilet, rescue Zoe, the cat, from a Carter hug, retrieve Carter from litter box, feed Carter....ah, the joys of toddlerhood. I am not just tired, I am EXHAUSTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, so far, things are going great. We are still adjusting to everything, but I think this is going to work out just fine. Ask me in a couple of weeks how I am doing. It may change. If you notice my hair is askew, I have no make-up on, and it seems that I have not showered in several days, you may want to pull me aside and tell me I am in desperate need of a night out. Believe me, I will take you up on it!
I'm so stinkin' sad!
Today was my official, official last day at work. My offiicial last day was December 22nd, but I came back in January to help out at my school part time until the new counselor came back from sick leave. So today, I am officially, officially done.
I did not expect to feel the way that I am feeling. I have been doing termination with my clients all month. For all of you out there not in the counseling world, don't worry, I wasn't trying to kill anyone, it is just a term we use when we are ending a counseling relationship. Anyway, I went around to all of my kids at school today and said goodbye. It was really, really hard. These precious little lives have so much potential. I would love to see them grow up healthy, happy, and secure. I never see my kids past eighth grade but every once in a while I will hear an update from someone. Unfortunately, most of these kids aren't growing up secure and happy, which is why they see me. As I said good bye to each of them, I thought about their lives. Who will get beaten up tonight at home, who will be bullied at school, who is struggling to stay afloat in school. Who feels like they want to end it all. I thought of the client who wants to be a police officer, I hope she makes it. I thought of the abuse that has taken some of these student's innocence at such a young age. I thought of the kids going home to an empty house full of siblings that have to take on adult responsibilities and they are not yet thirteen. It is sad. But I also think of the good that has come of knowing these little ones. The progress we have made. The smiles, the trust and self-esteem that has been built. Oh, and the teachers! Yes, there are wonderful teachers out there, and assistants. I just did not expect saying goodbye to them would be that difficult. Some of them looked really sad. I looked really sad. After I had gone around to everyone I was hit with this huge sense of sadness! It was like a big lump of heaviness in my chest and it wouldn't go away. Then I had to leave the school and go to the goodbye lunch my team was having for me. Oh, my gosh! I just sat their saying "I'm so sad". I felt kind of like a lame lunch date. I pretty much just sat their listening to everyone talk. I would interact a little bit but for the most part I felt numb. I have not been preparing myself for this. I have not processed this one bit.
I know that this is what I was supposed to do but at the same time I have enjoyed this job over any job I have ever had. Yes, it can be stressful, but I worked at a great school and the mental health agency I work for is great, the people are great. And I have just been going with the flow not even thinking about that this is going to be officially over. YUCK! This sucks! So everyone is leaving the lunch hugging me and saying goodbye. I start crying. I know I will see these people again, we will keep in touch, but the fact that I had not even THOUGHT about this being "it" overwhelmed me. So it's good that I keep saying over and over "This is sad". I am acknowledging how I feel. It will pass.
I am excited to be home, I am excited over my new ministry opportunities. I am excited to see what God has in store for the future.
But right now I am just going to be sad. I will probably eat lots of chocolate today. But that's okay.
I did not expect to feel the way that I am feeling. I have been doing termination with my clients all month. For all of you out there not in the counseling world, don't worry, I wasn't trying to kill anyone, it is just a term we use when we are ending a counseling relationship. Anyway, I went around to all of my kids at school today and said goodbye. It was really, really hard. These precious little lives have so much potential. I would love to see them grow up healthy, happy, and secure. I never see my kids past eighth grade but every once in a while I will hear an update from someone. Unfortunately, most of these kids aren't growing up secure and happy, which is why they see me. As I said good bye to each of them, I thought about their lives. Who will get beaten up tonight at home, who will be bullied at school, who is struggling to stay afloat in school. Who feels like they want to end it all. I thought of the client who wants to be a police officer, I hope she makes it. I thought of the abuse that has taken some of these student's innocence at such a young age. I thought of the kids going home to an empty house full of siblings that have to take on adult responsibilities and they are not yet thirteen. It is sad. But I also think of the good that has come of knowing these little ones. The progress we have made. The smiles, the trust and self-esteem that has been built. Oh, and the teachers! Yes, there are wonderful teachers out there, and assistants. I just did not expect saying goodbye to them would be that difficult. Some of them looked really sad. I looked really sad. After I had gone around to everyone I was hit with this huge sense of sadness! It was like a big lump of heaviness in my chest and it wouldn't go away. Then I had to leave the school and go to the goodbye lunch my team was having for me. Oh, my gosh! I just sat their saying "I'm so sad". I felt kind of like a lame lunch date. I pretty much just sat their listening to everyone talk. I would interact a little bit but for the most part I felt numb. I have not been preparing myself for this. I have not processed this one bit.
I know that this is what I was supposed to do but at the same time I have enjoyed this job over any job I have ever had. Yes, it can be stressful, but I worked at a great school and the mental health agency I work for is great, the people are great. And I have just been going with the flow not even thinking about that this is going to be officially over. YUCK! This sucks! So everyone is leaving the lunch hugging me and saying goodbye. I start crying. I know I will see these people again, we will keep in touch, but the fact that I had not even THOUGHT about this being "it" overwhelmed me. So it's good that I keep saying over and over "This is sad". I am acknowledging how I feel. It will pass.
I am excited to be home, I am excited over my new ministry opportunities. I am excited to see what God has in store for the future.
But right now I am just going to be sad. I will probably eat lots of chocolate today. But that's okay.
Buggy Boo's Birthday!
Yes, we have pet names for Carter. They are all a derivative from "Carter Bug". We say, Carter Bug, Bug, Buggy, Boo, you get the picture. Anyway, we had his birthday party on Saturday, January 13th. It was great. Lots of people (our house was FULL)! Carter did great. He loved being around all the people. We had a Curious George theme, with balloon trees and monkeys (thanks, Sean) and lots of books. We had asked people to bring books instead of toys. With it being 2 1/2 weeks after Christmas who needs more toys? So Carter received LOTS and LOTS of books. YEA!! We like books. Carter does too. Carter really didn't know what to do with the cake, except make a mess on his high chair tray. He barely had icing on his face and he did not put his face in the cake (which is what I was hoping for). Oh, and he fed Mommy cake, as you can see above. That was the SWEETEST!!!! We had pictures from Greg and I's one year photos and us eating our cake. More and more people are saying Carter looks like Mommy (I told you so) but he still has the unmistakable Mayo eyes--and they are gorgeous. I don't mind bragging on my beautiful Buggy Boo any day of the week!!!
Happy New Year...
... and happy early birthday, Carter! He turns 1 in 12 days! I cannot believe it.
Well, I had my 20th high school reunion. It was pretty interesting. It was like going in a time warp! Some of you reading this know of the environment in which I was raised, so of you do not. Just be warned, the next few paragraphs are expressly my perception and my experience. If you experienced something different, that is great. But this is how I see things and how I feel about the experience that I had.
I grew up in an independent Baptist church during the fundamentalist movement in the 70's. For more information on what an "Independent" Baptist church is and their beliefs, see this webiste http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Independent_Baptist. It explains A LOT about what I grew up in. Basically, we were separate from the world, meaning, we didn't listen to Rock and Roll, women couldn't wear pants, men could not have long hair, etc.
My family was part of a church in Florida and when we moved to Tennessee, we found a church in the next town. I also went to the Christian school there and graduated from it in 1986. My parents will both tell you, now, that it was not a great environment. It was very legalistic and very unhealthy. The pastor abused his power and position. It was a completely unhealthy environment, looking back. Growing up we didn't know any better. I don't think every independent Baptist church is like this, in fact, I know they are not. But this one is especially unhealthy, and I primarily blame the pastor and his abuse of power along with the extremely legalistic rules and regulations of the independent church.
The reason I am explaining this to you is because going to my 20th high school reunion was kind of scary. I didn't know what I was going into. I live a very different life now, a life, I feel, of freedom in Christ. A very different life than I had growing up.
Now, for the most part, I really enjoyed the class that I was in and the people in it. And we had a great time at the reunion. It was at someone's home and it was very laid back. Most people had changed very little. It was really, really nice. Lots of families there. Good laughs at great memories!!! Yes, there were many good times that were had growing up.
The shocker, though, is, that most of these people still believe the same way we grew up and it is so hard for me to get that. My relationship with the Lord now is so much more than it could have ever been back then. I became a christian in that dysfunctional church, however, I had no idea what a real relationship with Christ was until years later. The Lord has blessed me with emotional healing, and a personal, intimate relationship with him. And you know what....you can wear pants, and go to movies, and listen to contemporary christian music too!!!!! Its amazing.
I do not understand why am I where I am today? Why am I not living in the same town? Why am I blessed with a wonderful husband and child? How did I get from there to here????? I know that God has an awesome plan for my life. I am so very thankful and I feel so overwhelmed sometimes thinking, how did I get out of that lifestyle??? Why am I not still in it???
I love each of the persons that I graduated with. And I respect their decision to stay in the same town, or surrounding areas, etc. But why stay in something that is bondage? Why stay in something that is not true, that is not wrong, but gets you no where closer to God? Why? I do not know each of their personal relationships with Christ, I would never claim to know. I just don't understand why people stay in such bondage to rules, when they can have freedom in Christ. A relationship like none other.
Anyway, I am sorry to ramble on, but it just breaks my heart. And maybe I am wrong to feel this way. I do not mean to be judgmental, but it seems to me that hearing from them the other night that the same crap is going on today that was going on 20 years ago! Its just in different places and with different people.
I am still exploring and probably will continue to explore what is true, just, and holy. How much is being too much part of the world? Where is the line drawn between legalism and true holiness??? The Lord is so much bigger than legalism. This much I know is true! He can reach anyone, in any situation. He can reach someone with rock music, He can reach someone listening to a woman speak in church, He can reach someone with a movie. It is not so much what we do but why we do it and how we go about doing it. Does it glorify the Lord? Does it honor Him?
I wear jeans and listen to a rock band in the contemporary service at my church every Sunday. And I worship a King! If you go to the early service, you get a traditional service with a choir and a more formal setting. And the thing is, both are OK with God. The point is to be with God while you are there, not the style of the service or your dress. God just wants you, He wants to be worshipped, He wants to meet your every need. He loves you and wants you, and you do not have to do a thing to get Him to look your way. He doesn't really care. He just wants to be worshipped.
My life is very different now than it was 20 years ago. And it was God's plan to be different. For me to grow and mature. And I know I still have a lot of growing to do. And I am looking forward to it. I guess I am just a tad bit passionate about TRUTH! I want to scream at the top of my lungs what true worship is, what a true relationship with the Lord is. I am not saying that other people in that small town do not have that. I am not saying that at all. I am saying that I want truth. Period. Just give me truth and leave the rest of the stuff on the side of the road.
Thanks for listening to my ramble. I hope it made sense. I pray the Lord will shine His truth upon you and I pray you accept His truth!!!!
Happy New Year!
Well, I had my 20th high school reunion. It was pretty interesting. It was like going in a time warp! Some of you reading this know of the environment in which I was raised, so of you do not. Just be warned, the next few paragraphs are expressly my perception and my experience. If you experienced something different, that is great. But this is how I see things and how I feel about the experience that I had.
I grew up in an independent Baptist church during the fundamentalist movement in the 70's. For more information on what an "Independent" Baptist church is and their beliefs, see this webiste http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Independent_Baptist. It explains A LOT about what I grew up in. Basically, we were separate from the world, meaning, we didn't listen to Rock and Roll, women couldn't wear pants, men could not have long hair, etc.
My family was part of a church in Florida and when we moved to Tennessee, we found a church in the next town. I also went to the Christian school there and graduated from it in 1986. My parents will both tell you, now, that it was not a great environment. It was very legalistic and very unhealthy. The pastor abused his power and position. It was a completely unhealthy environment, looking back. Growing up we didn't know any better. I don't think every independent Baptist church is like this, in fact, I know they are not. But this one is especially unhealthy, and I primarily blame the pastor and his abuse of power along with the extremely legalistic rules and regulations of the independent church.
The reason I am explaining this to you is because going to my 20th high school reunion was kind of scary. I didn't know what I was going into. I live a very different life now, a life, I feel, of freedom in Christ. A very different life than I had growing up.
Now, for the most part, I really enjoyed the class that I was in and the people in it. And we had a great time at the reunion. It was at someone's home and it was very laid back. Most people had changed very little. It was really, really nice. Lots of families there. Good laughs at great memories!!! Yes, there were many good times that were had growing up.
The shocker, though, is, that most of these people still believe the same way we grew up and it is so hard for me to get that. My relationship with the Lord now is so much more than it could have ever been back then. I became a christian in that dysfunctional church, however, I had no idea what a real relationship with Christ was until years later. The Lord has blessed me with emotional healing, and a personal, intimate relationship with him. And you know what....you can wear pants, and go to movies, and listen to contemporary christian music too!!!!! Its amazing.
I do not understand why am I where I am today? Why am I not living in the same town? Why am I blessed with a wonderful husband and child? How did I get from there to here????? I know that God has an awesome plan for my life. I am so very thankful and I feel so overwhelmed sometimes thinking, how did I get out of that lifestyle??? Why am I not still in it???
I love each of the persons that I graduated with. And I respect their decision to stay in the same town, or surrounding areas, etc. But why stay in something that is bondage? Why stay in something that is not true, that is not wrong, but gets you no where closer to God? Why? I do not know each of their personal relationships with Christ, I would never claim to know. I just don't understand why people stay in such bondage to rules, when they can have freedom in Christ. A relationship like none other.
Anyway, I am sorry to ramble on, but it just breaks my heart. And maybe I am wrong to feel this way. I do not mean to be judgmental, but it seems to me that hearing from them the other night that the same crap is going on today that was going on 20 years ago! Its just in different places and with different people.
I am still exploring and probably will continue to explore what is true, just, and holy. How much is being too much part of the world? Where is the line drawn between legalism and true holiness??? The Lord is so much bigger than legalism. This much I know is true! He can reach anyone, in any situation. He can reach someone with rock music, He can reach someone listening to a woman speak in church, He can reach someone with a movie. It is not so much what we do but why we do it and how we go about doing it. Does it glorify the Lord? Does it honor Him?
I wear jeans and listen to a rock band in the contemporary service at my church every Sunday. And I worship a King! If you go to the early service, you get a traditional service with a choir and a more formal setting. And the thing is, both are OK with God. The point is to be with God while you are there, not the style of the service or your dress. God just wants you, He wants to be worshipped, He wants to meet your every need. He loves you and wants you, and you do not have to do a thing to get Him to look your way. He doesn't really care. He just wants to be worshipped.
My life is very different now than it was 20 years ago. And it was God's plan to be different. For me to grow and mature. And I know I still have a lot of growing to do. And I am looking forward to it. I guess I am just a tad bit passionate about TRUTH! I want to scream at the top of my lungs what true worship is, what a true relationship with the Lord is. I am not saying that other people in that small town do not have that. I am not saying that at all. I am saying that I want truth. Period. Just give me truth and leave the rest of the stuff on the side of the road.
Thanks for listening to my ramble. I hope it made sense. I pray the Lord will shine His truth upon you and I pray you accept His truth!!!!
Happy New Year!
Merry Christmas!
I hope that you had just as wonderful a Christmas as I did. It has been great. I realized yesterday that this is my first Christmas as a mom. It was pretty cool. This was Carter's first Christmas, too. My sister and her two kids came to town and my dad and step-mom spent Christmas Eve and day with us too. Of course we had time with Greg's parents in there too. Very busy time of year.
Carter had kind of a rough Christmas. He has been sick. He has been to the doctor twice and is on antibiotics. He is feeling much better now but Christmas Eve and Christmas Day kind of stunk for him, and for us too. With being sick he is waking in the night so we are just a wee bit tired. We are hoping for an all nighter tonight-a whole night of wonderful sleep!!!! This morning Carter got me up at 5:30 and he did not want to go back to sleep. At least he slept till 5:30, the past two nights we have been up and down several times in the night. Anyway, he finally went back down about 6:45. I decided to stay up since it was morning and I could have some time to myself. I made coffee and started having my devotions and my eyes became really, really heavy. I thought I was going to fall asleep in my chair. I had taken a couple of sips of coffee and decided I would give sleep another try. Greg was up by now and about to eat breakfast. I slipped into bed and the next thing I remember its 9:20! Sleep is an amazing thing!
Carter was kind of oblivious to Christmas which was nice because due to all the family commitments, Carter couldn't see what Santa had brought him until about 1:30 in the afternoon! You can do that with an 11 month old. Next year, we will have to do things differently. We got lots of pictures and video. He loves playing with all of his new toys and books. I can't believe he turns 1 in less than three weeks!!!!
Some of you know I surprised Greg with a "remodeled" downstairs basement. It is now a rec room with a brand new pool table in it, a new paint job and UT accents. I will try and post some pictures. It looks great and he was thoroughly surprised!! He was equally wonderful to me too, this year. My favorite gift is the cappuccino maker he got me. I guess he is tired of all the money I am spending at Starbucks, ha! Not really, but I am excited that now I can have a latte anytime I want!!
Well, all the family has left and gone home. Carter is napping and I am enjoying the peace and quiet! Maybe I should retry having those devotions!!! You have to take those moments when you can!!
I have my 2o year class reunion on Friday, that is just too freaky to even write about! But I will post about that later.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!
Carter had kind of a rough Christmas. He has been sick. He has been to the doctor twice and is on antibiotics. He is feeling much better now but Christmas Eve and Christmas Day kind of stunk for him, and for us too. With being sick he is waking in the night so we are just a wee bit tired. We are hoping for an all nighter tonight-a whole night of wonderful sleep!!!! This morning Carter got me up at 5:30 and he did not want to go back to sleep. At least he slept till 5:30, the past two nights we have been up and down several times in the night. Anyway, he finally went back down about 6:45. I decided to stay up since it was morning and I could have some time to myself. I made coffee and started having my devotions and my eyes became really, really heavy. I thought I was going to fall asleep in my chair. I had taken a couple of sips of coffee and decided I would give sleep another try. Greg was up by now and about to eat breakfast. I slipped into bed and the next thing I remember its 9:20! Sleep is an amazing thing!
Carter was kind of oblivious to Christmas which was nice because due to all the family commitments, Carter couldn't see what Santa had brought him until about 1:30 in the afternoon! You can do that with an 11 month old. Next year, we will have to do things differently. We got lots of pictures and video. He loves playing with all of his new toys and books. I can't believe he turns 1 in less than three weeks!!!!
Some of you know I surprised Greg with a "remodeled" downstairs basement. It is now a rec room with a brand new pool table in it, a new paint job and UT accents. I will try and post some pictures. It looks great and he was thoroughly surprised!! He was equally wonderful to me too, this year. My favorite gift is the cappuccino maker he got me. I guess he is tired of all the money I am spending at Starbucks, ha! Not really, but I am excited that now I can have a latte anytime I want!!
Well, all the family has left and gone home. Carter is napping and I am enjoying the peace and quiet! Maybe I should retry having those devotions!!! You have to take those moments when you can!!
I have my 2o year class reunion on Friday, that is just too freaky to even write about! But I will post about that later.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!
Apprehension
I have been feeling quite apprehensive about quitting work and being home, all day, with Carter. I love my son deeply, obviously. But I am not the stay-at-home type. Sorry, that is just the way it is. I know others feel very strongly about this issue, as they should. But I believe we all have the right to follow where the Lord leads us.
For some of us, it is home with children and others its working while having children. I am not a sappy person, in general. That goes with being a burned out social worker. I have just seen too much. I cringe (and I hope that this does not offend anyone), but I cringe when I listen to Focus on the Family and all these sweet sounding women come on and talk about being at home or whatever ministry they are involved in. They sound so sickeningly sweet it drives me crazy.
For those who do not know me well, I am somewhat opinionated. I feel very strongly about women's rights, even in the church. Don't get me started on that. Anyway, if I feel very passionately about something I will debate you until there is no debating left. Usually, this is on social issues--women, poverty, education, etc. Just ask my dad. We debate quite frequently on several issues.
I feel a woman, a Christian woman or any woman, in this day and age has the God-given right to choose what she does for a living and as a mom. I feel very strongly about this. You can give me this report or that report and I will tell you, you can make research tell you anything you want. For some women, there is no other thing that they would love to do more than to stay home and educate their children from day one. For others, the thought of staying at home makes them cringe and they honestly feel they are better moms for working. I wholeheartedly agree, with whichever route you take!
The point is, it is a choice, and a choice we should all have the privilege to have. I respect your decision to stay home, you respect my decision to work. There, see, its easy.
That being said. I did not want to be a stay at home mom. Not because I do not love my child deeply, but because I have little patience and a low tolerance for coping in stressful situations. There, I said it! I admit it. The last time I stayed at home (pre-child) I became depressed. Not clinically, but just very unhappy. Now with Carter, I can understand I will be very busy. But I am not very domesticated (ask my husband). There are some that will probably disagree with me there. Yes, I like to cook and bake, but that is about it.
But the Lord has called me to stay at home (although I have other projects that will keep my mind stimulated). I totally resisted this. I can find the good and the bad that goes along with being at home with my child. On the good side, I am the one taking care of him. Also, I can teach him, stimulate his mind, play with him and create a strong bond. On the bad side, I will grow impatient with him, sigh and wish I were somewhere else. I will raise my voice to him when I shouldn't. I will damage him in some way. But most of all, my fear is that I will be unhappy and miserable. I am being very transparent here. These are my fears, not reality.
But fear is not from the Lord. And I know He wants to grow me and show me that I can overcome such fears. And He has many plans to show me that I am going to be a really good mother, and that I won't lose patience (most of the time) :-), and that He will increase my patience and He will be my encourager, and He will show me how He can make my life new by following Him.
My husband asked me last night, without knowing I had been contemplating all these things, if I had thought of all the fun things I was going to do with Carter when I was home with him. I scoffed at him and told him honestly how I had been feeling. He said he could see patience being a big issue. I completely agree.
I told him I would be doing a lot of praying!!! And I will.
For some of us, it is home with children and others its working while having children. I am not a sappy person, in general. That goes with being a burned out social worker. I have just seen too much. I cringe (and I hope that this does not offend anyone), but I cringe when I listen to Focus on the Family and all these sweet sounding women come on and talk about being at home or whatever ministry they are involved in. They sound so sickeningly sweet it drives me crazy.
For those who do not know me well, I am somewhat opinionated. I feel very strongly about women's rights, even in the church. Don't get me started on that. Anyway, if I feel very passionately about something I will debate you until there is no debating left. Usually, this is on social issues--women, poverty, education, etc. Just ask my dad. We debate quite frequently on several issues.
I feel a woman, a Christian woman or any woman, in this day and age has the God-given right to choose what she does for a living and as a mom. I feel very strongly about this. You can give me this report or that report and I will tell you, you can make research tell you anything you want. For some women, there is no other thing that they would love to do more than to stay home and educate their children from day one. For others, the thought of staying at home makes them cringe and they honestly feel they are better moms for working. I wholeheartedly agree, with whichever route you take!
The point is, it is a choice, and a choice we should all have the privilege to have. I respect your decision to stay home, you respect my decision to work. There, see, its easy.
That being said. I did not want to be a stay at home mom. Not because I do not love my child deeply, but because I have little patience and a low tolerance for coping in stressful situations. There, I said it! I admit it. The last time I stayed at home (pre-child) I became depressed. Not clinically, but just very unhappy. Now with Carter, I can understand I will be very busy. But I am not very domesticated (ask my husband). There are some that will probably disagree with me there. Yes, I like to cook and bake, but that is about it.
But the Lord has called me to stay at home (although I have other projects that will keep my mind stimulated). I totally resisted this. I can find the good and the bad that goes along with being at home with my child. On the good side, I am the one taking care of him. Also, I can teach him, stimulate his mind, play with him and create a strong bond. On the bad side, I will grow impatient with him, sigh and wish I were somewhere else. I will raise my voice to him when I shouldn't. I will damage him in some way. But most of all, my fear is that I will be unhappy and miserable. I am being very transparent here. These are my fears, not reality.
But fear is not from the Lord. And I know He wants to grow me and show me that I can overcome such fears. And He has many plans to show me that I am going to be a really good mother, and that I won't lose patience (most of the time) :-), and that He will increase my patience and He will be my encourager, and He will show me how He can make my life new by following Him.
My husband asked me last night, without knowing I had been contemplating all these things, if I had thought of all the fun things I was going to do with Carter when I was home with him. I scoffed at him and told him honestly how I had been feeling. He said he could see patience being a big issue. I completely agree.
I told him I would be doing a lot of praying!!! And I will.
Christmas time
I hope there are others out there like me that just does not like to shop. Now don't get me wrong, when I want something and have something in mind, I love to shop. But I do not spend hours on end at the mall. I am sure my husband is very thankful of that!
Christmas is the worst! I have not bought one, single Christmas present yet. That is so sad! I got online today to search for some things to buy for family and I ended up buying something for us!! LOL! It just cracked me up after I got to thinking about it. When I think about it, maybe it isn't the shopping at Christmas that I hate doing but figuring out what everyone wants. So much pressure finding the perfect gift....
I know gift cards are impersonal but I love them. Last year at Christmas time I was 9 months pregnant. Perfect excuse to use gift cards. Well, not this year. I have no excuse except to go out and shop! Which, I guess I will tomorrow.
Wish me luck!
Christmas is the worst! I have not bought one, single Christmas present yet. That is so sad! I got online today to search for some things to buy for family and I ended up buying something for us!! LOL! It just cracked me up after I got to thinking about it. When I think about it, maybe it isn't the shopping at Christmas that I hate doing but figuring out what everyone wants. So much pressure finding the perfect gift....
I know gift cards are impersonal but I love them. Last year at Christmas time I was 9 months pregnant. Perfect excuse to use gift cards. Well, not this year. I have no excuse except to go out and shop! Which, I guess I will tomorrow.
Wish me luck!
Resignation
Monday I made my official resignation from work. Easiest resignation I had ever done. My supervisor and I had already talked about it. I went in and told my principal at the school. That went fine. I am very excited to be telling people about my new adventures. It's amazing how God works! He was telling me to trust Him in this journey, even though it didn't make sense.
I only have 20 hours of supervision left for me to be able to take the licensure exam in social work. It would make complete and total sense to stay at Centerstone and finish out my hours there and finish out the school year and then go on this journey. There were many things that led me to believe that even though it made sense, it wasn't necessarily what I was supposed to do. One was God's word. Of course, that is all it should take, but after God's word came one of my most stressful school years ever. Second came the hives, from the stress of the school year and everything else.
The day I had the hives, I crawled up in bed and got in the word. I knew that was what I was supposed to do. I go to Luke 5. This passage is talking about when Jesus showed the then fisherman that they were called to not catch fish anymore, but men and women! They were to be His disciples. They had been trying to catch fish all night. Nothing. Jesus tells them to move out in the deep and cast their nets to the otherside. Can you imagine? Someone you have never met and who has jumped on your boat to get away from the crowds telling you how you should fish? But listen to what Simon Peter says, this is what caught my eye, he responds, "Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; NEVERTHELESS, AT YOUR WORD, I will let down the net.
We all know the end of the story. See, even then, Peter knew to trust the Lord, even when it didn't make sense and he followed through on what he was asked to do. Some notes in my Bible confirmed what the word was saying to me. Things like, "Just do it! Past your point of logic and prior experience (vs5). Here are some specific notes from the Experiencing Bible I use:
Belief knows where profitable work can be done (vs 4)
Belief forsakes human endeavors to achieve God's mission (vs 10-11)
Belief knows God's abilities (vs 12)
God was in essence, asking me would I follow Him, beyond my point of reason, believing Him in what He is calling me to do.
So, I made my deicision. A couple of weeks later, I faltered, trying to reason leaving Centerstone before my supervision hours were up. I went back and forth and I felt no peace. It finally occured to me, when I re-read Luke 5, that God's answer had not changed, but I was trying to make my answer fit instead of His. BEYOND MY POINT OF LOGIC AND PRIOR EXPERIENCE. Once I understood it was me who was considering disobedience I chose to fall back in line to God's timeline and not mine, the peace came, once again.
God has an awesome way of following through. That statment in itself really doesn't make sense because God always follows through with His plan, whether we decide to obey or not. But it is cool to see faith in action. Especially when we are so not faithful back.
I feel led to start a parenting ministry. I was hoping to start some things in my church but had only talked to the director of counseling about volunteering. This past week I get a call from the Women's Ministry director at my church. Amazingly, she offered some opportunities for me to start ministering to parents!!!! I was amazed.
But I really shouldn't have been.
God had already told me to be looking past my logic and more toward His supernatural logic.
I am so glad that I did.
Lord thank you for this journey. May I be faithful and surrendered to You always.
I only have 20 hours of supervision left for me to be able to take the licensure exam in social work. It would make complete and total sense to stay at Centerstone and finish out my hours there and finish out the school year and then go on this journey. There were many things that led me to believe that even though it made sense, it wasn't necessarily what I was supposed to do. One was God's word. Of course, that is all it should take, but after God's word came one of my most stressful school years ever. Second came the hives, from the stress of the school year and everything else.
The day I had the hives, I crawled up in bed and got in the word. I knew that was what I was supposed to do. I go to Luke 5. This passage is talking about when Jesus showed the then fisherman that they were called to not catch fish anymore, but men and women! They were to be His disciples. They had been trying to catch fish all night. Nothing. Jesus tells them to move out in the deep and cast their nets to the otherside. Can you imagine? Someone you have never met and who has jumped on your boat to get away from the crowds telling you how you should fish? But listen to what Simon Peter says, this is what caught my eye, he responds, "Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; NEVERTHELESS, AT YOUR WORD, I will let down the net.
We all know the end of the story. See, even then, Peter knew to trust the Lord, even when it didn't make sense and he followed through on what he was asked to do. Some notes in my Bible confirmed what the word was saying to me. Things like, "Just do it! Past your point of logic and prior experience (vs5). Here are some specific notes from the Experiencing Bible I use:
Belief knows where profitable work can be done (vs 4)
Belief forsakes human endeavors to achieve God's mission (vs 10-11)
Belief knows God's abilities (vs 12)
God was in essence, asking me would I follow Him, beyond my point of reason, believing Him in what He is calling me to do.
So, I made my deicision. A couple of weeks later, I faltered, trying to reason leaving Centerstone before my supervision hours were up. I went back and forth and I felt no peace. It finally occured to me, when I re-read Luke 5, that God's answer had not changed, but I was trying to make my answer fit instead of His. BEYOND MY POINT OF LOGIC AND PRIOR EXPERIENCE. Once I understood it was me who was considering disobedience I chose to fall back in line to God's timeline and not mine, the peace came, once again.
God has an awesome way of following through. That statment in itself really doesn't make sense because God always follows through with His plan, whether we decide to obey or not. But it is cool to see faith in action. Especially when we are so not faithful back.
I feel led to start a parenting ministry. I was hoping to start some things in my church but had only talked to the director of counseling about volunteering. This past week I get a call from the Women's Ministry director at my church. Amazingly, she offered some opportunities for me to start ministering to parents!!!! I was amazed.
But I really shouldn't have been.
God had already told me to be looking past my logic and more toward His supernatural logic.
I am so glad that I did.
Lord thank you for this journey. May I be faithful and surrendered to You always.
CRUISE!!
Greg and I got back from our cruise Friday. It was wonderful, if you have never gone cruising, I highly recommend it!!!! We traveled to the Bahamas out of Port Canaveral on Royal Caribbean. It was COLD when we left Port Canaveral. Really! Record 25 year lows. Miami had temps in the high 40's on Tuesday. Uh, huh. So I put a note to self never to go to the Bahamas in November. We don't really have good fortune when we travel in November. I seem to recall a business trip for Greg to St. Thomas, Virgin Islands in November Of course I travelled with him, hello? St. Thomas, do you think I would pass that up? Well let me sum it up this way: rain, food posioning, humidity, being stuck in the hotel all the time while Greg worked while it rained, and did I mention rain????????????? Our May, June trips are much better. Think we will stick to that time of year.
Anyway, I digress. We landed in Nassau, Bahamas on Wed. and the weather was finally great, windy, but great. Nassau reminded me a lot of St. Thomas, except no rain of course! Ha! The shopping was fun and we took a water taxi over to Paradise Island. In the 60's my dad helped build a hotel on Paradise Island, it is long gone, and now there is The Atlantis...oh, my.....what a hotel. If I were to go back to the Bahamas, that is where we would stay. It was fabulous walking around in there, it is MASSIVE and EXPENSIVE! Oh, well. Very blue waters in Bahamas. Thursday we made our way to Royal Caribbean's private island, Coco Cay. An even more gorgeous day than Wed. It was warm and sunny! The Island is great, lots of things to do. Greg and I ate lunch, walked on the beach and then layed in a hammock until time to go. The agenda for this vacation was to relax and that is what we did-relax. And there is nothing like relaxing in a hammock. And I didn't even fall out!
The best part of our vacation was coming home to see Carter. Greg's parents watched Carter for us while we were gone. Do you know how expensive it is to call from ship to shore?? Let me tell you, A LOT!!!!! We called every day anyway. But he did fine. He was great. He was sooooo happy to see us and we were ecstatic to see him.
We have had a good weekend. Carter is sick so we stayed home from church today. He will go to the doctor tomorrow. :-(
Anyway, that is our vacation in a nutshell. I will try and post some pictures when I get them uploaded.
Have a great week!!
Anyway, I digress. We landed in Nassau, Bahamas on Wed. and the weather was finally great, windy, but great. Nassau reminded me a lot of St. Thomas, except no rain of course! Ha! The shopping was fun and we took a water taxi over to Paradise Island. In the 60's my dad helped build a hotel on Paradise Island, it is long gone, and now there is The Atlantis...oh, my.....what a hotel. If I were to go back to the Bahamas, that is where we would stay. It was fabulous walking around in there, it is MASSIVE and EXPENSIVE! Oh, well. Very blue waters in Bahamas. Thursday we made our way to Royal Caribbean's private island, Coco Cay. An even more gorgeous day than Wed. It was warm and sunny! The Island is great, lots of things to do. Greg and I ate lunch, walked on the beach and then layed in a hammock until time to go. The agenda for this vacation was to relax and that is what we did-relax. And there is nothing like relaxing in a hammock. And I didn't even fall out!
The best part of our vacation was coming home to see Carter. Greg's parents watched Carter for us while we were gone. Do you know how expensive it is to call from ship to shore?? Let me tell you, A LOT!!!!! We called every day anyway. But he did fine. He was great. He was sooooo happy to see us and we were ecstatic to see him.
We have had a good weekend. Carter is sick so we stayed home from church today. He will go to the doctor tomorrow. :-(
Anyway, that is our vacation in a nutshell. I will try and post some pictures when I get them uploaded.
Have a great week!!
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