Well, I feel the answer to that question is not really. There is always a cost. Sometimes that cost is a little, sometimes a lot.
Greg and I recently went to a home show here in Nashville. Since we are going to be building a new home within the next year we thought we would go to get some ideas. I was less impressed with the event, but that may have something to do with my being a girl and not really caring about many of the booths that were there. I wanted to see displays, etc. And all I got a lot of contractors, stone sellers, and one lasik surgeon. Yeah, I don't know why a lasik surgeon was at a home show.
One thing that I thoroughly enjoyed throughout the show was the freebies. Free samples of lemonade, coffee and even kettle corn. Free pens, bags, brochures. All kinds of lovely stuff.
And don't let me forget the sign ups. Free trips were being given away, free siding, romantic dinners and you can believe I put our name in each and every one of those.
We had won a free trip when I went to a bridal fair when we were engaged, and even though it was free, it cost us 2 hours watching a cooking presentation along with an attempt at getting us to buy the cookware. We were strong and got our free goodies and ran. And we enjoyed the free trip on our one year anniversary.
So, I was not surprised when, the week after the home show, my cell phone was ringing. Mostly people were following up on what stone we wanted to buy and when were we planning on remodeling our home, etc. But I was quite pleased when the KIS Country Club called us and told us we won a free three day, two night stay along with $25.00 in free Chick fil A food.
My first question though, was, what do we have to do?
Easy. We just had to sit through a presentation of the KIS Indoor Country Club at Opry Mills. There was no pressure to buy anything and they were really just trying to get their name known throughout the community, yada, yada, yada. Also, if we came in this week (which was last week) we had the opportunity to win a free Caribbean cruise if we got a hole in one.
So, last Friday night we head to the KIS location in Opry Mills. We always wondered what that place was and now we have more information about it than we will ever care to have.
I don't particularly enjoy sales people. In fact, I can be rather rude to them. Especially the harder the sale, the harder I get on the sales person. So, I tried to keep my attitude in check reminding myself that Greg and I were getting a free get away.
So, we get through the introductions and basic information. Then we get to try for the hole in one. Greg tries. Misses. He gives me a couple of pointers and an extra swing and on the third and final try, guess what? I got it! I got a hole in one.
One free cruise to the Bahamas coming up!!
We were very pumped and went through the rest of the presentation as best as we could. We really just wanted our free stuff.
When it got down to the selling point, the guy just didn't want to give. We had discussions, he asked questions, we tried our best to answer them. He even called a more experienced seller over and he did his best to move us over to his side. All in all, they were very nice and the pressure we felt was minimal. They just really wanted to sell us a membership. The meeting went long. We were very hungry and in need of a break.
We finally said we were going to have to go get something to eat to think about it. According to them, we had to make a decision that night in order to get additional bonuses that they do not normally give (yeah, right).
Well, Greg and I briefly discussed it over dinner. The guy had slashed the prices and thrown in a free travel club, which was temporarily tempting. But, once our blood sugar returned to normal we knew what our answer would be....
NO!
Now, we had to go back and face the music. We practiced what we were going to say, we did a little huddle, we gave ourselves a boost and told ourselves, "we can do this! We can say NO!".
So, we walk in, practicing our speech, and ask for Nick, the guy who was helping us. Nick was no where to be found. Hmmm.. Nick had left the building. Oh, okay.
So, Trent asked us what he could help us with. We told him we needed to pick up our free gifts. He knew I had shot a hole in one so he gave us our cruise too.
We were out of there in less that 5 minutes. Woo hoo. Free and clear and we didn't even have to give them our spiel!
So, to sum up our Friday night, we won a free trip, with an additional bonus trip, along with a Caribbean cruise. We sat through a very boring presentation and had to say no, ALOT!
Was it free? Not really. Our time is valuable.
Was it worth it?
Oh, yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Super Tuesday
Well, today is voting day. The day you get to vote in the presidential election primary. Yep. Don't worry, I am not going to give a big speech on the importance of taking advantage of the freedom we have in voting (especially for women, cause we didn't always have the right). I won't bore you with political dialogue cause I am just really not into that. I am a voter and I think it is important but political science was just not my favorite class.
No, political science and debates are not my thing. My husband and I did vote in the primary today. There wasn't another soul in the church where we are sent to vote based on where we live. That is called a district. That I know.
We must have hit the district during a lull. Lucky for me cause I got confused after I cast my vote for my candidate then the thing popped up and asked me to vote for delegates. Now, see, if you are a republican, you will know exactly what I am talking about. If you voted as a democrat, you didn't get to vote for all those delegates.
(And techinically, I am not republican, politically, I am a democrat but, due to having values and morals, I am unable to vote democratic in National elections.)
Anyway, the nice elderly people were able to kind of explain what the delegates were and the whole electoral vote thing. See, I told you, it really isn't my thing. I get test anxiety every time I have to vote. I think it has something about being enclosed in a small space. Of course this year there was no curtain to shield me from anyone and everyone could see the confused look on my face. Luckily, I was able to raise my hand and ask a question.
But, my post today has very little to do with my voting experience.
What was so interesting today was what happened after I voted. See, if you go vote you get this little sticker. A bragging right. The sticker says, "I voted".
I proudly wore mine all day. Even though Carter wanted it after I picked him up from Weekday school. But I wore it all day. People would ask if I voted.
Well, why else would I be wearing the sticker if I hadn't voted?
But best of all was what happened at the mall. We went out to eat and went to Opry Mills after dinner. I was parusing a shoe store while Greg checked out really expensive speakers at the Bose store.
When I walked in to the store the sales lady did the obligatory hello. She decided to start up a conversation based on my sticker on my shirt. Here it goes.
"Oh, did you vote today?"
"Yes".
"Yeah, I've seen lots of those stickers today (pause, then with much sincerity)....Did they have it at the Convention Center?"
This lady has my full attention. In a split second in my mind I am saying to myself, WHAT??????"
So I asked her.
"What? Did they have what at the convention center?" (Maybe she meant a big political rally...)
"You know, the voting?"
Pause........
"Um, no, the voting takes place in your district." I am really trying not to stare incredulously at this woman
The saleslady is appearing to feel uncomfortable. It seems she is trying to discuss something she obviously knows nothing about. But how can that be? I know about voting and districts and I am not politically inclined. The woman is an adult at least in her thirties. Obviously, a bit on the airhead side, but she has nice hair. And it is blonde.
"Oh.....yeah. Well, I have just seen so many people today with these stickers and I just think it is so cool. You know, it must be one of the big days to vote."
" um (staring incredulously now because it is the ONLY day to vote. There is no OTHER day. This is it, Super Tuesday. Does this woman own a television? Watch the news??????) Um, Yeah, it IS the voting day" I finally spit out.
"oh, I just think it is so cool. I've seen those stickers all day. People went out and voted and then came and shopped!" (woman laughs uncomfortably and leaves very quickly.)
I just stand there and stare. And then I start to chuckle.
When I have conversations with people like that I feel so smart!
No, political science and debates are not my thing. My husband and I did vote in the primary today. There wasn't another soul in the church where we are sent to vote based on where we live. That is called a district. That I know.
We must have hit the district during a lull. Lucky for me cause I got confused after I cast my vote for my candidate then the thing popped up and asked me to vote for delegates. Now, see, if you are a republican, you will know exactly what I am talking about. If you voted as a democrat, you didn't get to vote for all those delegates.
(And techinically, I am not republican, politically, I am a democrat but, due to having values and morals, I am unable to vote democratic in National elections.)
Anyway, the nice elderly people were able to kind of explain what the delegates were and the whole electoral vote thing. See, I told you, it really isn't my thing. I get test anxiety every time I have to vote. I think it has something about being enclosed in a small space. Of course this year there was no curtain to shield me from anyone and everyone could see the confused look on my face. Luckily, I was able to raise my hand and ask a question.
But, my post today has very little to do with my voting experience.
What was so interesting today was what happened after I voted. See, if you go vote you get this little sticker. A bragging right. The sticker says, "I voted".
I proudly wore mine all day. Even though Carter wanted it after I picked him up from Weekday school. But I wore it all day. People would ask if I voted.
Well, why else would I be wearing the sticker if I hadn't voted?
But best of all was what happened at the mall. We went out to eat and went to Opry Mills after dinner. I was parusing a shoe store while Greg checked out really expensive speakers at the Bose store.
When I walked in to the store the sales lady did the obligatory hello. She decided to start up a conversation based on my sticker on my shirt. Here it goes.
"Oh, did you vote today?"
"Yes".
"Yeah, I've seen lots of those stickers today (pause, then with much sincerity)....Did they have it at the Convention Center?"
This lady has my full attention. In a split second in my mind I am saying to myself, WHAT??????"
So I asked her.
"What? Did they have what at the convention center?" (Maybe she meant a big political rally...)
"You know, the voting?"
Pause........
"Um, no, the voting takes place in your district." I am really trying not to stare incredulously at this woman
The saleslady is appearing to feel uncomfortable. It seems she is trying to discuss something she obviously knows nothing about. But how can that be? I know about voting and districts and I am not politically inclined. The woman is an adult at least in her thirties. Obviously, a bit on the airhead side, but she has nice hair. And it is blonde.
"Oh.....yeah. Well, I have just seen so many people today with these stickers and I just think it is so cool. You know, it must be one of the big days to vote."
" um (staring incredulously now because it is the ONLY day to vote. There is no OTHER day. This is it, Super Tuesday. Does this woman own a television? Watch the news??????) Um, Yeah, it IS the voting day" I finally spit out.
"oh, I just think it is so cool. I've seen those stickers all day. People went out and voted and then came and shopped!" (woman laughs uncomfortably and leaves very quickly.)
I just stand there and stare. And then I start to chuckle.
When I have conversations with people like that I feel so smart!
What makes a good mom?
Something has been bugging me since Christmas and it was brought to my attention today, so here I go, getting it off my chest.
My son is in a Mother's Day Out program called Weekday school. It is great, for many reasons, but the most important reason is that it gives me time away from my child and to myself, which I think is very healthy and needed. Not every mom feels that way and that is fine. For me personally, Weekday school is my salvation. 1o hours is not enough time, roughly 5 hours each Tuesday and Thursday, but it is enough.
One of the things that I have been dealing with is mom guilt. I am the sole person responsible for this. No one is making me feel guilty. It is something I do to myself.
It started this Christmas at Weekday school. Of course I brought Carter's teacher's gifts for caring for my son, it was the least that I could do. They do a great job and they love my son. Enough said.
Well, the mother guilt started creeping in when Carter's teacher mentioned they were having a Christmas party and inviting me to attend. She actually called me at home because she forgot to mention it the last time he was at school. Hmmm....do I go, do I not go. I really, truly did not want to go. I had five hours to get a lot of stuff done. I didn't have to bring anything to the party, she just wanted me to know that they were having it.
Thursday rolls around and she mentions, again that they were having the party that day. Well, I told her sheepishly, that if I got everything done in time I would try to come join the party. Inside I was thinking they are having this party at 11:30, smack dab in the middle of the day and it would kill any chance of me getting anything accomplished. And again, so you don't think I am being critical of Weekday school (which I am adamantly NOT!!) the timing of the part made sense because it was before lunch and nap time.
Well, I didn't go. I felt a little twinge of guilt, but really was fine with it. Until I picked up Carter from school. Apparently, some of the other mom's and grandmother's brought gifts to ALL the kids in the class. I let out a sigh. Did Carter bring any presents for anyone......Nope. Except for his teacher.
I left thinking, you know they really need to pass out Weekday school etiquette.
Whenever there is a party thou shalt bring gifts to everyone...you know, something like that.
I am a person that needs things spelled out to her. Just let me know the expectation and I can get it done.
Well, fortunately, not all the mom's brought gifts. So, I felt a little vindicated. Whew. You know, this is a mother's day out program. It is supposed to be bringing me LESS stress. Not all this stuff I have to be thinking of ahead of time.
Well, fast forward to last week. It was Carter's birthday. Did I bake cupcakes and bring them to weekday school, like some of the other moms, so Carter could have a party? No. Did I know that was the norm. NOOOOOO....
So, again, the mother guilt was laid upon me. Did I need to feel guilty. NO. But it is hard when other kid's mom's bring stuff in and you are the mom that doesn't.
Carter's teacher told me she baked some cookies for Carter and was it okay for them to have them. Of course, it was fine. (guilt, guilt, guilt)
So, just when I am getting over that mother lode, I get hit with it again today.
Apparently, Valentines Day is coming up. Carter's teacher and another teacher started talking about Valentines Day when a grandmother brought something in for the party.
Party? What party.
Carter's teacher: "Oh, we're going to have a Valentines party."
My sigh must have been overheard around the world.
Carter's teacher: "ohoohh...we'll have the kids bring in Valentines".
Me: "Okay, is that really necessary? He's two, he isn't going to remember this is Valentines Day, it's too much".
(oops, did I really say that? I was being really nice but inside I was thinking all this is going to do is add something else to my list of things to do, which is why I have my child in Weekday school so that I have time to do the things I need to do and all this is doing is adding to that never ending list......)
The other grandmother piped up and said that is why she brought the Valentine straws in today. She's done, she did her task, etc. Well, I said I could bring in play-doh, as we had a lot left over from Carter's party.
There, that isn't so bad.
Well, then the poor teacher said she would buy the Valentines herself.
Guilt, guilt guilt.....
Me: No, you don't have to do that. Just let me know what I need to bring to the party.
Finally she said the party was really for her. She enjoys it so much that she loves putting them together.
Then they started talking about Easter. Carter's teacher looks at me and says, "Are we getting to far ahead of you, Susan?"
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, then I have to start thinking about what kind of mom am I?
I didn't get married till I was 34 and I had Carter at 37. The dream of getting married and actually having kids was kind of in the back of my mind. I had time to be pretty independent. I even kept working for a while after Carter was born. I work now, I just don't get paid for it. I wear a lot of hats. Guilt is a hat I would rather not have to wear and worry about. So, I am not like a lot of mom's that dreamed of doing all this stuff with their kids. And does that really make a great mom, bringing cup cakes to a party?
No. Some mom's never get the opportunity to do those things for their kids and maybe they want to. Maybe they are single and have to work and miss out on all the parties at school, never being able to be the class mom.
Me, when Carter gets in school, REAL school, of course I want to bring cup cakes for his birthday party and we will fill out Valentines before his Valentine party....in Elementary school when he knows what Valentines day is.
To me, being a great mom is meeting my child's need (and wants, sometimes). Nurturing him, tickling him, spending time playing with him. Loving him.
I think if I asked anyone if they thought my kid was loved and well-rounded, nice to be around and happy I think I would hear a resounding YES!!!!!!!
Now, I think part of the credit should go to temperament. I had little to do with that. But this child is loved and nurtured.
He is considered a blessing.
And just because I don't want to make cup cakes and take them to his weekday school program when he is oblivious that it is even his birthday, doesn't make me a bad mom.
It makes me a mom who is prioritizing what she has to do in a day and what is really important and what really matters. Carter had two birthday parties. One was really big. He didn't miss out on celebrating his birthday.
Maybe one day I will be able to deal with the guilt. But I somehow think there are going to be other things to feel guilty about, just in different circumstances.
I just need to accept the fact that I am not perfect, won't be the perfect mom, and to just love my child and focus on him and not worry about what other people think.
Because that is the bottom line. I am worried about how other people perceive me, that is really what I feel bad about. Not meeting everyone elses expectation of what a mom should look like.
Okay. I feel better now.
My son is in a Mother's Day Out program called Weekday school. It is great, for many reasons, but the most important reason is that it gives me time away from my child and to myself, which I think is very healthy and needed. Not every mom feels that way and that is fine. For me personally, Weekday school is my salvation. 1o hours is not enough time, roughly 5 hours each Tuesday and Thursday, but it is enough.
One of the things that I have been dealing with is mom guilt. I am the sole person responsible for this. No one is making me feel guilty. It is something I do to myself.
It started this Christmas at Weekday school. Of course I brought Carter's teacher's gifts for caring for my son, it was the least that I could do. They do a great job and they love my son. Enough said.
Well, the mother guilt started creeping in when Carter's teacher mentioned they were having a Christmas party and inviting me to attend. She actually called me at home because she forgot to mention it the last time he was at school. Hmmm....do I go, do I not go. I really, truly did not want to go. I had five hours to get a lot of stuff done. I didn't have to bring anything to the party, she just wanted me to know that they were having it.
Thursday rolls around and she mentions, again that they were having the party that day. Well, I told her sheepishly, that if I got everything done in time I would try to come join the party. Inside I was thinking they are having this party at 11:30, smack dab in the middle of the day and it would kill any chance of me getting anything accomplished. And again, so you don't think I am being critical of Weekday school (which I am adamantly NOT!!) the timing of the part made sense because it was before lunch and nap time.
Well, I didn't go. I felt a little twinge of guilt, but really was fine with it. Until I picked up Carter from school. Apparently, some of the other mom's and grandmother's brought gifts to ALL the kids in the class. I let out a sigh. Did Carter bring any presents for anyone......Nope. Except for his teacher.
I left thinking, you know they really need to pass out Weekday school etiquette.
Whenever there is a party thou shalt bring gifts to everyone...you know, something like that.
I am a person that needs things spelled out to her. Just let me know the expectation and I can get it done.
Well, fortunately, not all the mom's brought gifts. So, I felt a little vindicated. Whew. You know, this is a mother's day out program. It is supposed to be bringing me LESS stress. Not all this stuff I have to be thinking of ahead of time.
Well, fast forward to last week. It was Carter's birthday. Did I bake cupcakes and bring them to weekday school, like some of the other moms, so Carter could have a party? No. Did I know that was the norm. NOOOOOO....
So, again, the mother guilt was laid upon me. Did I need to feel guilty. NO. But it is hard when other kid's mom's bring stuff in and you are the mom that doesn't.
Carter's teacher told me she baked some cookies for Carter and was it okay for them to have them. Of course, it was fine. (guilt, guilt, guilt)
So, just when I am getting over that mother lode, I get hit with it again today.
Apparently, Valentines Day is coming up. Carter's teacher and another teacher started talking about Valentines Day when a grandmother brought something in for the party.
Party? What party.
Carter's teacher: "Oh, we're going to have a Valentines party."
My sigh must have been overheard around the world.
Carter's teacher: "ohoohh...we'll have the kids bring in Valentines".
Me: "Okay, is that really necessary? He's two, he isn't going to remember this is Valentines Day, it's too much".
(oops, did I really say that? I was being really nice but inside I was thinking all this is going to do is add something else to my list of things to do, which is why I have my child in Weekday school so that I have time to do the things I need to do and all this is doing is adding to that never ending list......)
The other grandmother piped up and said that is why she brought the Valentine straws in today. She's done, she did her task, etc. Well, I said I could bring in play-doh, as we had a lot left over from Carter's party.
There, that isn't so bad.
Well, then the poor teacher said she would buy the Valentines herself.
Guilt, guilt guilt.....
Me: No, you don't have to do that. Just let me know what I need to bring to the party.
Finally she said the party was really for her. She enjoys it so much that she loves putting them together.
Then they started talking about Easter. Carter's teacher looks at me and says, "Are we getting to far ahead of you, Susan?"
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, then I have to start thinking about what kind of mom am I?
I didn't get married till I was 34 and I had Carter at 37. The dream of getting married and actually having kids was kind of in the back of my mind. I had time to be pretty independent. I even kept working for a while after Carter was born. I work now, I just don't get paid for it. I wear a lot of hats. Guilt is a hat I would rather not have to wear and worry about. So, I am not like a lot of mom's that dreamed of doing all this stuff with their kids. And does that really make a great mom, bringing cup cakes to a party?
No. Some mom's never get the opportunity to do those things for their kids and maybe they want to. Maybe they are single and have to work and miss out on all the parties at school, never being able to be the class mom.
Me, when Carter gets in school, REAL school, of course I want to bring cup cakes for his birthday party and we will fill out Valentines before his Valentine party....in Elementary school when he knows what Valentines day is.
To me, being a great mom is meeting my child's need (and wants, sometimes). Nurturing him, tickling him, spending time playing with him. Loving him.
I think if I asked anyone if they thought my kid was loved and well-rounded, nice to be around and happy I think I would hear a resounding YES!!!!!!!
Now, I think part of the credit should go to temperament. I had little to do with that. But this child is loved and nurtured.
He is considered a blessing.
And just because I don't want to make cup cakes and take them to his weekday school program when he is oblivious that it is even his birthday, doesn't make me a bad mom.
It makes me a mom who is prioritizing what she has to do in a day and what is really important and what really matters. Carter had two birthday parties. One was really big. He didn't miss out on celebrating his birthday.
Maybe one day I will be able to deal with the guilt. But I somehow think there are going to be other things to feel guilty about, just in different circumstances.
I just need to accept the fact that I am not perfect, won't be the perfect mom, and to just love my child and focus on him and not worry about what other people think.
Because that is the bottom line. I am worried about how other people perceive me, that is really what I feel bad about. Not meeting everyone elses expectation of what a mom should look like.
Okay. I feel better now.
This is what happens when....
you leave your child unsupervised with new magic markers. Yep, Carter was enjoying part of an early Christmas present while we were finishing dinner and this is what happened! It all came out in the wash--Carter's bath and the washing machine so to take an expression from my good friend, Sean.... "it's all good!".
Coffee at last!
Well, my two weeks are up and I enjoyed a piping hot cup of coffee this morning. I didn't even have to finish my mug. It was great, it was like I had never skipped a day. I don't feel too weird so it must not be doing anything bad to me so I think I will stick with drinking it every now and then. I would like not to get hooked on it every day so I don't have caffeine withdrawal, but we'll see.
I am trying my best to stay away from sugar and have done a pretty great job at that. I am slowly adding good carbs back to my diet this weekend so I hope all my hard work the last two weeks doesn't bite the dust in the next few with all the goodies around. I am keeping them out of my house, I know that.
So, hopefully my next post will have nothing to do with diet, coffee or lack of sugar.
I am trying my best to stay away from sugar and have done a pretty great job at that. I am slowly adding good carbs back to my diet this weekend so I hope all my hard work the last two weeks doesn't bite the dust in the next few with all the goodies around. I am keeping them out of my house, I know that.
So, hopefully my next post will have nothing to do with diet, coffee or lack of sugar.
Day 12 without coffee...
I know, I know, my posts are getting old. Enough already, right?
Well, the fog has lifted, my sinuses have finally cleared up and I have no headaches..woo hoo!!! This must be what it is like to be sugar and caffeine free.
To tell you the truth, in terms of coffee, I don't feel that different. That is why I have decided on day 14 without coffee I am going to indulge in a nice cup of hot organic coffee with real half and half. One cup a day (or so) won't hurt. Well, I will see how I react to the cup of coffee and go from there.
Sugar, on the otherhand, I am keeping at bay. Of course, with the holidays there will be a little indulgence here and there but I will be glad to get back on track. The cravings sugar triggers are really amazing.
However, I have been on this strict fast (or cleanse, whatever you want to call it) for almost two weeks and I am ready to add some healthy carbs. A slice of grain bread, a sweet potato here or there with my dinner. You know, the small things in life. Eating like I have been eating the last two weeks gets really old. I am ready for some broader choices in my diet other than, "protien or veggie, miss?"
I have lost 13 pounds and about 7 1/2 inches off my mid-section/ hip areas. Yep. There is motivation for you. That is enough to keep me on the program.
Now to decide to torture my mom's group with sugar free, flourless cookies on Monday night at our Christmas party cookie swap.....hmmmmmmm, I don't think that would be a good idea. On the otherhand, maybe they wouldn't notice. Ha!
Well, the fog has lifted, my sinuses have finally cleared up and I have no headaches..woo hoo!!! This must be what it is like to be sugar and caffeine free.
To tell you the truth, in terms of coffee, I don't feel that different. That is why I have decided on day 14 without coffee I am going to indulge in a nice cup of hot organic coffee with real half and half. One cup a day (or so) won't hurt. Well, I will see how I react to the cup of coffee and go from there.
Sugar, on the otherhand, I am keeping at bay. Of course, with the holidays there will be a little indulgence here and there but I will be glad to get back on track. The cravings sugar triggers are really amazing.
However, I have been on this strict fast (or cleanse, whatever you want to call it) for almost two weeks and I am ready to add some healthy carbs. A slice of grain bread, a sweet potato here or there with my dinner. You know, the small things in life. Eating like I have been eating the last two weeks gets really old. I am ready for some broader choices in my diet other than, "protien or veggie, miss?"
I have lost 13 pounds and about 7 1/2 inches off my mid-section/ hip areas. Yep. There is motivation for you. That is enough to keep me on the program.
Now to decide to torture my mom's group with sugar free, flourless cookies on Monday night at our Christmas party cookie swap.....hmmmmmmm, I don't think that would be a good idea. On the otherhand, maybe they wouldn't notice. Ha!
One Week Without Coffee...
Day Seven: The coffee pot looms before me. Empty for seven days. The Espresso machine looks forlorn and is collecting dust. My head is busting and, somehow, all of this is supposed to be GOOD for me????
Coffee. I don't miss it too badly. Except when I smell it or see a Starbucks! Oh, the Pumpkin Spice latte....oh, but I need to stop thinking about that. Ha! I am still drinking black tea in the AM so I am getting some caffeine. I hope to taper that off next week. I just want to know what it is like to have caffeine completely out of my system....hmmm.
And the longer I go without sugar the less tempting things appear. I am eating dark chocolate ever day, a fine piece of dark chocolate so I am not in total deprivation.
Poor Greg, who I think we all agree does not need to lose weight, has been eating what I have been eating. I do add carbs to his plate. He needs them. And he told me he would eat anything except cauliflower mashed potatoes. He never has gotten over that one.
Even my friend Heather was adventurous enough to come over and try the Cider Chicken and Spaghetti Squash. Which, as I had to explain to Heather, the squash is called spaghetti squash because when you pull it apart it looks like spaghetti. And some people eat it with tomato sauce instead of regular pasta. We were not having spaghetti (the pasta) and squash together. I don't know if she was disappointed that spaghetti was not on the menu, but she ate the squash anyway.
The Headaches!!!! I have had a dull headache, sometimes not so dull, for three days. I think this is more from sugar withdrawal than caffeine, since I am still drinking things with caffeine in them. So, I have tried to alter the diet a little bit to make it a little more pleasing on my head. I would rather go at this slowly and be able to function than feel like crap. Apparently, once all the "bad stuff" is out of your system you are supposed to feel great. I am not there yet.
I can say this. My moods are much more even keeled without sugar and coffee. I don't know what it is but I just feel more pleasant than usual. Except when I am driving in Nashville traffic, but don't we all lose it with idiots, I mean, people, on the road??? Besides in the car I am much more pleasant to other people. So everyone benefits, right?
And I am losing weight and inches. Woo hoo...it seems to be quite dropping off of me. And I am very EXCITED about that. It makes not having sugar or coffee much more bearable.
Tonight I am splurging and we are going to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. We will be sharing the 6 carb cheesecake for dessert. It is actually quite good. Then, I will hit the elliptical machine at the Y tomorrow. It all works out.
Now all I have to do is live another day without my coffee. Sigh. At least 7 more to go without it, but maybe longer. We shall see.
Coffee. I don't miss it too badly. Except when I smell it or see a Starbucks! Oh, the Pumpkin Spice latte....oh, but I need to stop thinking about that. Ha! I am still drinking black tea in the AM so I am getting some caffeine. I hope to taper that off next week. I just want to know what it is like to have caffeine completely out of my system....hmmm.
And the longer I go without sugar the less tempting things appear. I am eating dark chocolate ever day, a fine piece of dark chocolate so I am not in total deprivation.
Poor Greg, who I think we all agree does not need to lose weight, has been eating what I have been eating. I do add carbs to his plate. He needs them. And he told me he would eat anything except cauliflower mashed potatoes. He never has gotten over that one.
Even my friend Heather was adventurous enough to come over and try the Cider Chicken and Spaghetti Squash. Which, as I had to explain to Heather, the squash is called spaghetti squash because when you pull it apart it looks like spaghetti. And some people eat it with tomato sauce instead of regular pasta. We were not having spaghetti (the pasta) and squash together. I don't know if she was disappointed that spaghetti was not on the menu, but she ate the squash anyway.
The Headaches!!!! I have had a dull headache, sometimes not so dull, for three days. I think this is more from sugar withdrawal than caffeine, since I am still drinking things with caffeine in them. So, I have tried to alter the diet a little bit to make it a little more pleasing on my head. I would rather go at this slowly and be able to function than feel like crap. Apparently, once all the "bad stuff" is out of your system you are supposed to feel great. I am not there yet.
I can say this. My moods are much more even keeled without sugar and coffee. I don't know what it is but I just feel more pleasant than usual. Except when I am driving in Nashville traffic, but don't we all lose it with idiots, I mean, people, on the road??? Besides in the car I am much more pleasant to other people. So everyone benefits, right?
And I am losing weight and inches. Woo hoo...it seems to be quite dropping off of me. And I am very EXCITED about that. It makes not having sugar or coffee much more bearable.
Tonight I am splurging and we are going to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. We will be sharing the 6 carb cheesecake for dessert. It is actually quite good. Then, I will hit the elliptical machine at the Y tomorrow. It all works out.
Now all I have to do is live another day without my coffee. Sigh. At least 7 more to go without it, but maybe longer. We shall see.
Where is my coffee????
Sigh. Well, I have deliberately cut out coffee from my diet, for the time being.
I am trying to "get healthy" and do some "cleansing", which means, basically, cutting out things you love because they aren't good for you in the first place. Luckily, this time period is only going to last two weeks. I will be on a pretty restrictive eating plan, but that doesn't mean I won't be eating great tasting food. There just won't be hardly any carbohydrates, no sugar, and very limited caffeine.
I have done this kind of thing before and although it is difficult, it really gets rid of nasty cravings, that for me, are very difficult to not give in to. In fact, I would say that it is nearly impossible. That is why there are no cookies or chips in the house. Carter is still allowed his goldfish crackers and I will just try not to nibble on them for the next two weeks.
I have been eating way too much junk and suger these past few months. Actually, I am quite disappointed in myself because earlier in the summer I was on the fast track to weight loss. I was "in the groove" so to speak. I didn't really take the time to recognize how well I was doing. In fact, I remember being pretty hard on myself instead of looking at all the things I was accomplishing. Throw in a best friend dying and then a few other setbacks the next month and BAM! It was easy to throw away the groove for a couple of Oreo cookies.
The only thing is, the a couple of Oreo cookies turned into four. Then I was buying chips, "for Greg", of course. And then I just plain got off track and didn't care. I didn't want to think about my losses, I didn't want to feel anything, so I numbed myself with food.
This is what I do. I am addicted to food. I have struggled with food most of my life and it will always have an impact on me. There won't ever be a day that I won't be tempted to eat outside of a healthy eating plan. There will always be sights and smells that make me want to cave. And when I don't pay attention, I will and then it snowballs much like an alcoholic going on a binge.
The bad thing about being addicted to food is, you can never walk away from your addiction. I have to eat. Period. So, this makes life difficult. It sucks, really.
But there is always a new day. I have not totally undone all my hard work over the summer, although I am very unhappy with my body right now but what's new about that?
So, now it is time to get rid of all the triggers for me, which happen to be sugar and bad carbs (ie: sugar,flour, potatoes, white rice, instant foods,etc.).
The best way for me to do that is just to get rid of them. By not allowing them in my diet the cravings and triggers are greatly decreased. To some this might sound extreme but for me, it is somewhat my salvation. Sugar really does make you want more sugar. I have done this before and it is amazing the difference that I feel. Doesn't mean I won't ever eat sugar again, but for now, I need to lay off.
I found a great website today that is actually a blog. The best diet for me, or way of living, as I like to put it, is The Southbeach Diet. It is healthy, safe, and uses natural, whole foods.
Anyway, I was looking up a recipe for a sugar-free, wheat-free dessert and found this blog, http://kalynskitchen.blogspot.com/, that is FULL of great low-glycemic recipes. I have already printed off a bunch.
If you are into eating a low-glycemic diet, check it out. It is a really cool website.
I will keep you updted on my coffee withdrawal....it is sure to be interesting.
I am trying to "get healthy" and do some "cleansing", which means, basically, cutting out things you love because they aren't good for you in the first place. Luckily, this time period is only going to last two weeks. I will be on a pretty restrictive eating plan, but that doesn't mean I won't be eating great tasting food. There just won't be hardly any carbohydrates, no sugar, and very limited caffeine.
I have done this kind of thing before and although it is difficult, it really gets rid of nasty cravings, that for me, are very difficult to not give in to. In fact, I would say that it is nearly impossible. That is why there are no cookies or chips in the house. Carter is still allowed his goldfish crackers and I will just try not to nibble on them for the next two weeks.
I have been eating way too much junk and suger these past few months. Actually, I am quite disappointed in myself because earlier in the summer I was on the fast track to weight loss. I was "in the groove" so to speak. I didn't really take the time to recognize how well I was doing. In fact, I remember being pretty hard on myself instead of looking at all the things I was accomplishing. Throw in a best friend dying and then a few other setbacks the next month and BAM! It was easy to throw away the groove for a couple of Oreo cookies.
The only thing is, the a couple of Oreo cookies turned into four. Then I was buying chips, "for Greg", of course. And then I just plain got off track and didn't care. I didn't want to think about my losses, I didn't want to feel anything, so I numbed myself with food.
This is what I do. I am addicted to food. I have struggled with food most of my life and it will always have an impact on me. There won't ever be a day that I won't be tempted to eat outside of a healthy eating plan. There will always be sights and smells that make me want to cave. And when I don't pay attention, I will and then it snowballs much like an alcoholic going on a binge.
The bad thing about being addicted to food is, you can never walk away from your addiction. I have to eat. Period. So, this makes life difficult. It sucks, really.
But there is always a new day. I have not totally undone all my hard work over the summer, although I am very unhappy with my body right now but what's new about that?
So, now it is time to get rid of all the triggers for me, which happen to be sugar and bad carbs (ie: sugar,flour, potatoes, white rice, instant foods,etc.).
The best way for me to do that is just to get rid of them. By not allowing them in my diet the cravings and triggers are greatly decreased. To some this might sound extreme but for me, it is somewhat my salvation. Sugar really does make you want more sugar. I have done this before and it is amazing the difference that I feel. Doesn't mean I won't ever eat sugar again, but for now, I need to lay off.
I found a great website today that is actually a blog. The best diet for me, or way of living, as I like to put it, is The Southbeach Diet. It is healthy, safe, and uses natural, whole foods.
Anyway, I was looking up a recipe for a sugar-free, wheat-free dessert and found this blog, http://kalynskitchen.blogspot.com/, that is FULL of great low-glycemic recipes. I have already printed off a bunch.
If you are into eating a low-glycemic diet, check it out. It is a really cool website.
I will keep you updted on my coffee withdrawal....it is sure to be interesting.
What a birthday!
Well, it was my birthday yesterday. My last birthday in my thirties. In case you didn't know, sigh, I will be 40 next year. BLAH!
Yep, that is exactly how I felt about it. BLAH! Didn't want to celebrate it, didn't really care about it. Blah. Along with other stuff, it just really hadn't been a great weekend. I was down, cranky and emotional.
My mom came in Monday and she said she would keep Carter while Greg and I went out. Greg made reservations at Merchants here in Nashville. I had never been so I was excited. He told me he would give me my present at the restaurant. I was like, whatever, I am not really that into it anyway. Blah....
So we get to the restaurant. After we order Greg gives me my birthday card. I figured he got me a spa package or something and there was a gift certificate in the card.
I opened it up. Very beautiful card, very sweet!! That was nice. Then I see that there are tickets in there, they are covered up with a paper sleeve so I decided to read what Greg wrote in the card.
All I saw was Celine Dion and lost it. I opened up the tickets. My mouth was open--wide, I might add. Tears sprang up. I saw that she was going to be at the Sommet Center....then Greg explains.
Last week, Celine was on Oprah. I had turned the TV on halfway through. Now, I have always planned to go to Vegas on my 40th birthday and seeing Celine Dion in Vegas was one of the things I planned to do. When they announced that Celine was closing her show on December 31st OF THIS YEAR, I let out a wail!!! Greg was in the room. I was distracted by my computer but apparently, the flashed across the screen that Celine Dion was coming to Nashville and that tickets go on sale November 19th....my birthday, hmmm.
So, Greg got the idea to get me those tickets for my birthday. This was before my yucky, emotional weekend. Isn't that the sweetest??????????????????????
Now, flash forward to last night. I am looking at my tickets, amazed. Then I see the date.....
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Yes, you heard me right.....2009!!!!!!!!
I said, "2009????"
Greg says, "No, there must be a mistake or a typo".
We get out the calendar and figure 2009 must be leap year cause, yep, the 13th is on a Tuesday. Greg was mortified...he had no idea that I was going to have to wait a year for my birthday present. He even made the paper sleeve that held the tickets and on the sleeve he had typed "January 13, 2009".
I told him I did not care. We had great seats and if we had waited till next year they would have been horrible.
So, I guess I will be able to see Celine Dion when I am 40 afterall!!!! Just not in Vegas.
Yep, that is exactly how I felt about it. BLAH! Didn't want to celebrate it, didn't really care about it. Blah. Along with other stuff, it just really hadn't been a great weekend. I was down, cranky and emotional.
My mom came in Monday and she said she would keep Carter while Greg and I went out. Greg made reservations at Merchants here in Nashville. I had never been so I was excited. He told me he would give me my present at the restaurant. I was like, whatever, I am not really that into it anyway. Blah....
So we get to the restaurant. After we order Greg gives me my birthday card. I figured he got me a spa package or something and there was a gift certificate in the card.
I opened it up. Very beautiful card, very sweet!! That was nice. Then I see that there are tickets in there, they are covered up with a paper sleeve so I decided to read what Greg wrote in the card.
All I saw was Celine Dion and lost it. I opened up the tickets. My mouth was open--wide, I might add. Tears sprang up. I saw that she was going to be at the Sommet Center....then Greg explains.
Last week, Celine was on Oprah. I had turned the TV on halfway through. Now, I have always planned to go to Vegas on my 40th birthday and seeing Celine Dion in Vegas was one of the things I planned to do. When they announced that Celine was closing her show on December 31st OF THIS YEAR, I let out a wail!!! Greg was in the room. I was distracted by my computer but apparently, the flashed across the screen that Celine Dion was coming to Nashville and that tickets go on sale November 19th....my birthday, hmmm.
So, Greg got the idea to get me those tickets for my birthday. This was before my yucky, emotional weekend. Isn't that the sweetest??????????????????????
Now, flash forward to last night. I am looking at my tickets, amazed. Then I see the date.....
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Yes, you heard me right.....2009!!!!!!!!
I said, "2009????"
Greg says, "No, there must be a mistake or a typo".
We get out the calendar and figure 2009 must be leap year cause, yep, the 13th is on a Tuesday. Greg was mortified...he had no idea that I was going to have to wait a year for my birthday present. He even made the paper sleeve that held the tickets and on the sleeve he had typed "January 13, 2009".
I told him I did not care. We had great seats and if we had waited till next year they would have been horrible.
So, I guess I will be able to see Celine Dion when I am 40 afterall!!!! Just not in Vegas.
Merry Christmas!
Oh, wait! It's not even Thanksgiving yet! But it will be here before we know it. We have gotten Carter's Christmas pictures made and getting our Christmas cards ready so here is a preview....
Enjoy!
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Enjoy!
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Carter's Halloween
Carter made it through Halloween this year with just a few meltdowns. I guess the terrible twos were inevitable! As you can see, Carter was a cow....a very adorable cow, I might add!!!
We went to a local park that was having a Fall Fest and met some friends there. Our friend Heather came along too. They had inflatables that kids could jump in and pony rides along with a REALLY, REALLY long line to get "the loot". Since Carter could have cared less about candy, we skipped the long candy line.
Carter went straight for the ponies. He wanted in the gate! Right then. He did not understand that you have to take a turn or that you can't just go up to something because you want to. Hence, meltdown #1. I got in line finally, and Greg distracted Carter as best he could until it was his turn.
Well, he only made around once and got really scared...meltdown #2. He wanted off that pony fast. I was trying to hold him and unbuckle him at the same time while staying at the head of the pony like the man had told me to! Thankfully, they stopped the ponies and I undid him.
Onto the inflatables. He had a great time in there until someone ran into him and he kind of got trampled. He was more scared than anyhting....meltdown #3.
After that we gave up and left the park. It was getting dark and we had pretty much seen everything.
Finally, we stopped by Grandpa and Grannie Mayo's house. Carter wasn't impressed with the two pieces of candy in his pumpkin so he threw them out!
We ended the night by going to Cracker Barrel and my very hungry boy ate his whole, half sandwich that I made him. Made me wonder if maybe all his tantrums were due to being hungry!!??
On the way home Carter was really quiet. I looked back in his seat and he was chewing on something. He had gotten a hold of his candy and was chewing the paper off and eating the chocolate. He had chocolate everywhere!! I died laughing but all it did was upset him cause he thought I was upset. He got over pretty quickly and I fed him the rest of his kit kat....after I cleaned him up!! Hee hee!!!
We went to a local park that was having a Fall Fest and met some friends there. Our friend Heather came along too. They had inflatables that kids could jump in and pony rides along with a REALLY, REALLY long line to get "the loot". Since Carter could have cared less about candy, we skipped the long candy line.
Carter went straight for the ponies. He wanted in the gate! Right then. He did not understand that you have to take a turn or that you can't just go up to something because you want to. Hence, meltdown #1. I got in line finally, and Greg distracted Carter as best he could until it was his turn.
Well, he only made around once and got really scared...meltdown #2. He wanted off that pony fast. I was trying to hold him and unbuckle him at the same time while staying at the head of the pony like the man had told me to! Thankfully, they stopped the ponies and I undid him.
Onto the inflatables. He had a great time in there until someone ran into him and he kind of got trampled. He was more scared than anyhting....meltdown #3.
After that we gave up and left the park. It was getting dark and we had pretty much seen everything.
Finally, we stopped by Grandpa and Grannie Mayo's house. Carter wasn't impressed with the two pieces of candy in his pumpkin so he threw them out!
We ended the night by going to Cracker Barrel and my very hungry boy ate his whole, half sandwich that I made him. Made me wonder if maybe all his tantrums were due to being hungry!!??
On the way home Carter was really quiet. I looked back in his seat and he was chewing on something. He had gotten a hold of his candy and was chewing the paper off and eating the chocolate. He had chocolate everywhere!! I died laughing but all it did was upset him cause he thought I was upset. He got over pretty quickly and I fed him the rest of his kit kat....after I cleaned him up!! Hee hee!!!
Today would have been my friend, Roxanne's 38th birthday. I still can't believe that she is not here. I do have to say it makes me really sad. I talked to Rox's mom last week and they are doing surprisingly well. Better than I ever expected them to be doing and I am so glad. Of course, they are handling their grief in different ways and the holidays coming up I am sure will be especially tough. Roxanned LOVED Christmas. It was her FAVORITE holiday. Ah, another bittersweet memory pops into my head. There are so many.
I love ya, Rox! We all miss you, terribly!!
Here are a few pictures of Roxanne when she visited the states last year.
Carter and Rox
Rox with our good friend, Mark! We all go way back to when we lived in Morristown
Finally, pictures at Lisa's house last summer after our big get together. Rox was sooo excited to see everyone and for all of us to be together.
These are the memories I hold on to and while I miss sharing stuff with my friend, I know she is in a much better place.
Happy birthday, Roxanne!
I love ya, Rox! We all miss you, terribly!!
Here are a few pictures of Roxanne when she visited the states last year.
Carter and Rox
Rox with our good friend, Mark! We all go way back to when we lived in Morristown
Finally, pictures at Lisa's house last summer after our big get together. Rox was sooo excited to see everyone and for all of us to be together.
These are the memories I hold on to and while I miss sharing stuff with my friend, I know she is in a much better place.
Happy birthday, Roxanne!
Fall has arrived! Finally!
And it has given me a big, fat migraine!!!!
Actually, it is rainy here today, which is a good thing, but the barometric pressure change has done a number on my head. But it will get better.
It is still not officially fall....is it? It doesn't feel like it any way. It is still warm. I love fall when there is a slight chill in the air and you need to wear a jacket but it is not unbearably cold.
Yea for fall!!!
Greg and I went to Orlando and had a great trip. It was a little rainy while we were there, but otherwise we had no complaints at all. We were very impressed with the National Center on Biblical Parenting all the way around. Hopefully, I will be able to give my first seminar at my church in some form or another in the Winter. I have a lot of information to go through and really work on the presentation of the seminar. They really give you everything you need to give a great presentation and for any church that is planning the seminar, they provide everything to promote it. And they really work with the church to make it successful. I guess that is why we were so impressed with this organization. They are very organized and have their stuff together! Thanks Scott and Joanne!!!!
Once I am going at this full throttle I will include some information in the blog in case you or your church would like to plan to have a parenting seminar. Even if I am not in your area they have presenters all over the country.
If you want to take a look you can check them out at http://www.biblicalparenting.com
I promise more later!!!
Actually, it is rainy here today, which is a good thing, but the barometric pressure change has done a number on my head. But it will get better.
It is still not officially fall....is it? It doesn't feel like it any way. It is still warm. I love fall when there is a slight chill in the air and you need to wear a jacket but it is not unbearably cold.
Yea for fall!!!
Greg and I went to Orlando and had a great trip. It was a little rainy while we were there, but otherwise we had no complaints at all. We were very impressed with the National Center on Biblical Parenting all the way around. Hopefully, I will be able to give my first seminar at my church in some form or another in the Winter. I have a lot of information to go through and really work on the presentation of the seminar. They really give you everything you need to give a great presentation and for any church that is planning the seminar, they provide everything to promote it. And they really work with the church to make it successful. I guess that is why we were so impressed with this organization. They are very organized and have their stuff together! Thanks Scott and Joanne!!!!
Once I am going at this full throttle I will include some information in the blog in case you or your church would like to plan to have a parenting seminar. Even if I am not in your area they have presenters all over the country.
If you want to take a look you can check them out at http://www.biblicalparenting.com
I promise more later!!!
We're off to Orlando
Greg and I are headed to Orlando, Fl tomorrow. Carter is staying home with Grandpa and Grannie Mayo. You would think that I would be worried sick about leaving my baby for four days...but I am not! I am SO looking forward to this trip and getting away with my hubby. I know some moms who have never spent a night away from their children. Don't go on dates with their husbands, and if they do spend time away from their kid, they don't enjoy it. For some reason I do not have that problem. And I think it is quite okay! In fact, it is healthy to take time away from your children and family and take some time for YOU!!!! You will be a much better mom investing in some mom time than never taking a break. Ok, enough of that soapbox.
Why are we going to Orlando, you ask? I am going through the parenting seminar training to become a presenter for the National Center for Biblical Parenting (biblicalparenting.org). On Saturday, Greg and I will actually sit through the seminar so not only will I be trained in being a presenter, we as parents actually get to go through the seminar and hopefully glean some good stuff.
It is kind of long story of why I am going to this training through this organization. I found this organization online when I first felt the call toward doing parenting ministry. I saw that they offered trainings but at that time I was still working and they were not adding on any presenters. So, I kept them in my favorites file and didn't think much of it. Then I quit work to stay at home with Carter and go into more ministry oriented work. Not too long after that one of the leaders of this organization sent me and email telling me that they were adding more presenters and were going to have a training in the fall of 2007. It seemed pretty clear to me that I needed to follow up with them. I applied and they accepted. So, here we go!
People ask me what I will get out of this. My answer is, "I don't really know". I was talking with someone at church today about it and I really don't have a whole lot of answers, except that I know I am supposed to do this. I am trying to focus on staying focused on Christ and let the ministry follow. So, I don't really know. Obviously, I have spoken with these people, I have researched the agency, looked through their materials and feel that they are legit. But, beyond that I really don't know what all of this entails. Except that I will have the opportunity to lead seminars in churches that will have me. I do get compensated. They have some awesome resources for families and churches. I would love to start a parenting ministry in my church.
If I were hope and dream about what the future holds I would have a pretty clear picture what that would look like. Doing ministry in my church, possible setting up private practice (I should be a licensed therapist by the beginning of the year--if all goes well), and helping parents become the best that they can be. Being an encourager, loving the people that I am ministering to and getting closer to Jesus in the process.
But I am trying not to hope and dream and let the Lord guide me where He would have me go and what He would have me do. If that means traveling every weekend doing seminars in churches, then great! I feel I have a long way to go in getting where I need to be in my relationship with Christ before I think I would be able to offer anything to anyone. And, really, I wouldn't be offering anything that I had anyway, cause anything I have comes from God. I am really not being hokey in saying that. I truly believe that the less I know I have anything to offer the better. Does that mean God hasn't given me gifts and talents? No, of course not, He gives us each a special call. But apart from Him I CAN DO NOTHING.
That is exactly where I want to be. With Him. He will take care of the rest.
Pray for safe travels for us this week and for my baby Carter to be safe and sound!
Why are we going to Orlando, you ask? I am going through the parenting seminar training to become a presenter for the National Center for Biblical Parenting (biblicalparenting.org). On Saturday, Greg and I will actually sit through the seminar so not only will I be trained in being a presenter, we as parents actually get to go through the seminar and hopefully glean some good stuff.
It is kind of long story of why I am going to this training through this organization. I found this organization online when I first felt the call toward doing parenting ministry. I saw that they offered trainings but at that time I was still working and they were not adding on any presenters. So, I kept them in my favorites file and didn't think much of it. Then I quit work to stay at home with Carter and go into more ministry oriented work. Not too long after that one of the leaders of this organization sent me and email telling me that they were adding more presenters and were going to have a training in the fall of 2007. It seemed pretty clear to me that I needed to follow up with them. I applied and they accepted. So, here we go!
People ask me what I will get out of this. My answer is, "I don't really know". I was talking with someone at church today about it and I really don't have a whole lot of answers, except that I know I am supposed to do this. I am trying to focus on staying focused on Christ and let the ministry follow. So, I don't really know. Obviously, I have spoken with these people, I have researched the agency, looked through their materials and feel that they are legit. But, beyond that I really don't know what all of this entails. Except that I will have the opportunity to lead seminars in churches that will have me. I do get compensated. They have some awesome resources for families and churches. I would love to start a parenting ministry in my church.
If I were hope and dream about what the future holds I would have a pretty clear picture what that would look like. Doing ministry in my church, possible setting up private practice (I should be a licensed therapist by the beginning of the year--if all goes well), and helping parents become the best that they can be. Being an encourager, loving the people that I am ministering to and getting closer to Jesus in the process.
But I am trying not to hope and dream and let the Lord guide me where He would have me go and what He would have me do. If that means traveling every weekend doing seminars in churches, then great! I feel I have a long way to go in getting where I need to be in my relationship with Christ before I think I would be able to offer anything to anyone. And, really, I wouldn't be offering anything that I had anyway, cause anything I have comes from God. I am really not being hokey in saying that. I truly believe that the less I know I have anything to offer the better. Does that mean God hasn't given me gifts and talents? No, of course not, He gives us each a special call. But apart from Him I CAN DO NOTHING.
That is exactly where I want to be. With Him. He will take care of the rest.
Pray for safe travels for us this week and for my baby Carter to be safe and sound!
See, I tell everyone Carter looks like me!!!
Maybe people will start believing it now! Of course, the look-alike-meter says he only looks more like me by 6% but I will take everything I can get.
Seriously, though, I think Carter is a great mixture of both of us and in the end Carter looks like.....CARTER!!
Seriously, though, I think Carter is a great mixture of both of us and in the end Carter looks like.....CARTER!!
My summer of grief and loss
Or, should I say, the summer of my discontent...sounds a bit more upbeat. But it is what it is.
I am glad that summer is over and we are in a new season, it doesn't feel like a new season, yet, but it soon will. The heat of summer will be transformed into misty mornings and cool evenings. I believe God takes us through different seasons in life for a reason. I may no know or understand what those reasons are, but He does and He is sufficient.
I am calling this past summer my season of grief and loss. I have been here before. It is not really a fun place to be. However, God is teaching me and reminding me that nothing belongs to me. I know this. I know this is part of surrender. My health doesn't belong to me. My family. My husband, or even my precious baby boy-who I still sometimes fear isn't going to be awake in the morning (that is called a stronghold of fear) and I have dealt with this since my heart was opened to a love I had never experienced before. First the love of a wonderful family, that is a given. But recently, in the past few years, a love of a wonderful man who, I feel, completes me and with whom I cannot imagine living a day without. Second, the precious love of my child, Carter. A different love, a love that merits worry and protection over unseen potential harm. Potential being the key word. the potential harm never seems to materialize, yet it leaves a dent in your heart that only gets bigger each time a worry or doubt pop in your mind. And it grows, and it grows and it grows until a stronghold is formed.
The Bible says that we are not given a spirit of bondage again to fear, but a spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, Abba, Father. (Romans 8:15).
I have to give my life over to God each and every day, some days moment by moment. It is a refining work He does in me. He does not want me to be entangled in bondage, and fear is bondage. Period.
God is working on me, refining me, so that I can come to a place where I say ALL is yours. I came into this world with nothing and I will leave this world with nothing. I am not to hold onto something so dearly, more dearly than my trust in God. Because that is when the fear and doubt move in. See, if I am truly going to be surrendered and totally broken before God, I have to surrender EVERYTHING. Even my right to enjoy a long life, life long friendships, healthy pregnancies and a long and happy marriage to Greg. And, it includes I have to surrender even Carter. That Carter will outlive me and that he will be disease and accident free.
I have to give up the right to smooth sailing. Because as much joy and happiness this life brings, the Lord wants me to know and understand Him. If there were never any trials then I would never know God as Comforter and Healer. It doesn't mean He is going to snatch Greg and Carter from me --but if He does, I have to know and understand that He had a bigger picture in mind. I may never understand hurt and loss, but as long as know who is the Comforter in the hurt and loss, then the why really doesn't have to be answered. This life is a VAPOR. Poof, and it is gone. God is bigger than my love for family, Greg and Carter, health and friendships.
In a sense, I feel God is teaching me about looking forward to Heaven. When person is young and full of life, the thought of not living life just doesn't really cross their mind. With the death of Roxanne, I had to question, again, this place of Heaven. I have been spared death in my family, family that I am very close to. So, in a way, Heaven seemed like a very far off place. Now, it seems a little bit closer because I have loved ones there. It made me look at my thought of heaven. It made me question it's existence. Process that it really is a place that Christ has gone to prepare for me. Because I am His child. And He prepares it for each of His children.
And not only that, but what comes with heaven....eternity! An eternity of worshipping Him. It will never end and it is going to be so BIG and we will then truly see Christ as HE is! Wow. This life is SO short. It is but a vapor.
I love my life. I love being here on earth. I feel Christ is teaching me to start loving Heaven a little bit more. And, I would assume, the older I get, the closer that HOME, my real home, will be.
I want to be refined, even though it is painful, to be able to look forward to Heaven. To meeting this Peacemaker. The Peace that Passes ALL Understanding.
I am glad that summer is over and we are in a new season, it doesn't feel like a new season, yet, but it soon will. The heat of summer will be transformed into misty mornings and cool evenings. I believe God takes us through different seasons in life for a reason. I may no know or understand what those reasons are, but He does and He is sufficient.
I am calling this past summer my season of grief and loss. I have been here before. It is not really a fun place to be. However, God is teaching me and reminding me that nothing belongs to me. I know this. I know this is part of surrender. My health doesn't belong to me. My family. My husband, or even my precious baby boy-who I still sometimes fear isn't going to be awake in the morning (that is called a stronghold of fear) and I have dealt with this since my heart was opened to a love I had never experienced before. First the love of a wonderful family, that is a given. But recently, in the past few years, a love of a wonderful man who, I feel, completes me and with whom I cannot imagine living a day without. Second, the precious love of my child, Carter. A different love, a love that merits worry and protection over unseen potential harm. Potential being the key word. the potential harm never seems to materialize, yet it leaves a dent in your heart that only gets bigger each time a worry or doubt pop in your mind. And it grows, and it grows and it grows until a stronghold is formed.
The Bible says that we are not given a spirit of bondage again to fear, but a spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, Abba, Father. (Romans 8:15).
I have to give my life over to God each and every day, some days moment by moment. It is a refining work He does in me. He does not want me to be entangled in bondage, and fear is bondage. Period.
God is working on me, refining me, so that I can come to a place where I say ALL is yours. I came into this world with nothing and I will leave this world with nothing. I am not to hold onto something so dearly, more dearly than my trust in God. Because that is when the fear and doubt move in. See, if I am truly going to be surrendered and totally broken before God, I have to surrender EVERYTHING. Even my right to enjoy a long life, life long friendships, healthy pregnancies and a long and happy marriage to Greg. And, it includes I have to surrender even Carter. That Carter will outlive me and that he will be disease and accident free.
I have to give up the right to smooth sailing. Because as much joy and happiness this life brings, the Lord wants me to know and understand Him. If there were never any trials then I would never know God as Comforter and Healer. It doesn't mean He is going to snatch Greg and Carter from me --but if He does, I have to know and understand that He had a bigger picture in mind. I may never understand hurt and loss, but as long as know who is the Comforter in the hurt and loss, then the why really doesn't have to be answered. This life is a VAPOR. Poof, and it is gone. God is bigger than my love for family, Greg and Carter, health and friendships.
In a sense, I feel God is teaching me about looking forward to Heaven. When person is young and full of life, the thought of not living life just doesn't really cross their mind. With the death of Roxanne, I had to question, again, this place of Heaven. I have been spared death in my family, family that I am very close to. So, in a way, Heaven seemed like a very far off place. Now, it seems a little bit closer because I have loved ones there. It made me look at my thought of heaven. It made me question it's existence. Process that it really is a place that Christ has gone to prepare for me. Because I am His child. And He prepares it for each of His children.
And not only that, but what comes with heaven....eternity! An eternity of worshipping Him. It will never end and it is going to be so BIG and we will then truly see Christ as HE is! Wow. This life is SO short. It is but a vapor.
I love my life. I love being here on earth. I feel Christ is teaching me to start loving Heaven a little bit more. And, I would assume, the older I get, the closer that HOME, my real home, will be.
I want to be refined, even though it is painful, to be able to look forward to Heaven. To meeting this Peacemaker. The Peace that Passes ALL Understanding.
I'm just glad that it was South Carolina instead of Tennessee
Oh, my. I am sure there will be many blogs written on this, but I could not resist. When I saw this, I can honestly say, I had the best laugh all day, and I needed it!
I don't think Miss South Carolina thinks too quickly on her feet.
Bless her heart!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww
I don't think Miss South Carolina thinks too quickly on her feet.
Bless her heart!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww
Ode to Roxanne
I know it sounds kind of corny, but she would have liked it that way. Roxanne was a crazy, one of kind gal from New Brunswick, Canada. I can honestly say I have never met anyone like her, nor, I feel, will I ever again. Hence, her being one of a kind and all. If you are reading this and wondering who the heck Roxanne is. She was one of my best friends. She died suddenly, July 10th, 2007.
Here is a picture taken last summer with Rox in the middle. That is me and Lisa Hunt Hammer to your right.
Roxanne and I are complete opposites. We are both "baby girls", in that we were spoiled rotten growing up. Rox was an only child, I was the baby. Not a big difference. However, our personalities could not have been more opposite! Roxanne was loud and outgoing. Her humor could be crude. And she was always quick with a joke. She saw right through me. Maybe that is what bugged me so much. I could never get anything by her. She always knew when I had something on my mind and I needed to spit it out. Oh, and she had beautiful singing voice. And she loved to sing about Jesus.
Roxanne and I have known each other for almost 20 years! I am getting OLD! We met in the early 90's while following Southern Gospel Music (I know, I know). We ended up being roommates in our early 20's and that about nearly killed our friendship. I think it lasted a year. "Baby Girls" do not need to room together. We each want our own way, and lets just say it, Roxanne was bossy, and if you didn't do things her way, she got really ticked. In my 20's I was extremely passive. I had NO idea who I was. I was shy, withdrawn and I was depressed--a lot. I had a lot of growing up to do. Roxanne changed my life. She got me out doing things I had never done before. We were both stubborn and bull headed (spoiled brats we were!) :-) Eventually, she moved back to Canada. I eventually moved to Nashville. But not before I had graduated from Carson-Newman College and entered Graduate school, which, I might add, I completed! Roxanne encouraged me to grow and told me that I could do it. Even when I did not think I could. Not to say I did not have other encouragers along the way. I did.
How did I know Roxanne made a huge impact in my life? Besides being one of my biggest cheerleaders along the way? Well, my mom thought she was being a bad influence on me! Ha! Just cause she was taking me out every weekend to see these singing groups!! Roxanne and I often laugh about that because when we were roommates, I was the one that introduced her to gasp, alcohol! Wine Coolers, I think? Too funny, now, to think about that. Just who was the bad influence???
Roxanne and I are complete opposites. We are both "baby girls", in that we were spoiled rotten growing up. Rox was an only child, I was the baby. Not a big difference. However, our personalities could not have been more opposite! Roxanne was loud and outgoing. Her humor could be crude. And she was always quick with a joke. She saw right through me. Maybe that is what bugged me so much. I could never get anything by her. She always knew when I had something on my mind and I needed to spit it out. Oh, and she had beautiful singing voice. And she loved to sing about Jesus.
Roxanne and I have known each other for almost 20 years! I am getting OLD! We met in the early 90's while following Southern Gospel Music (I know, I know). We ended up being roommates in our early 20's and that about nearly killed our friendship. I think it lasted a year. "Baby Girls" do not need to room together. We each want our own way, and lets just say it, Roxanne was bossy, and if you didn't do things her way, she got really ticked. In my 20's I was extremely passive. I had NO idea who I was. I was shy, withdrawn and I was depressed--a lot. I had a lot of growing up to do. Roxanne changed my life. She got me out doing things I had never done before. We were both stubborn and bull headed (spoiled brats we were!) :-) Eventually, she moved back to Canada. I eventually moved to Nashville. But not before I had graduated from Carson-Newman College and entered Graduate school, which, I might add, I completed! Roxanne encouraged me to grow and told me that I could do it. Even when I did not think I could. Not to say I did not have other encouragers along the way. I did.
How did I know Roxanne made a huge impact in my life? Besides being one of my biggest cheerleaders along the way? Well, my mom thought she was being a bad influence on me! Ha! Just cause she was taking me out every weekend to see these singing groups!! Roxanne and I often laugh about that because when we were roommates, I was the one that introduced her to gasp, alcohol! Wine Coolers, I think? Too funny, now, to think about that. Just who was the bad influence???
We both went with a group to Hawaii in gosh, 1991 or 1992???????? I honestly do not remember. But we had a blast. God had a special place for Roxanne in my life. I met some very wonderful people. People, who today, I still care about very deeply. I have other friends, I have friends that I have been friends with longer than Roxanne. Each friend has their own influence for their own time. I think God placed Roxanne in my life because I needed a good, stiff, kick in the butt to change things going on in my life. Roxanne never cared to lay it out straight for you, whether it was for your own good or not. She was ALWAYS honest and upfront. Except for the pain she often felt.
Roxanne had had a rough few years. She had some chronic illnesses, she struggled with addiction and depression. I have to be honest and say that when I talked to Roxanne on the phone or saw her in person, she wasn't the same girl I met 20 years ago and that was hard. It made me really, really sad. I worried about her. I cried and prayed over her. I tried to be the best friend that I could be being several thousand miles away. There isn't a lot you can do for a person who is hurting in another country except pray for them and tell them how much you love them.
I do have to say though, this last year Roxanne made some tremendous changes in her lifestyle and health. The last time I spoke with her she sounded like Roxanne. She wasn't letting the depression and the chronic pain overtake her life anymore. She, in my opinion, was starting to heal. She was not longer allowing illness to become her identity. She had lost 50 pounds. She was on an upswing.
So why? Why did she have to stop breathing in the middle of the night and die? Why wasn't she wearing her CPAP machine? Actually, I know why. She had fallen asleep without it. I am sure she had done it many times. Only this time, it mattered.
I had the honor and privilege to speak at Roxanne's funeral. I didn't know if I was going to get through it or not, but thank God that I did. It was hard coming up with something special to say about someone who's time, I felt, was cut short. Well, in the end, I was honest. As glad as I am that Roxanne is in heaven and that she will never feel pain anymore, I was honest. I wanted my friend back. But that is just selfish of me. See, there is still some "baby girl" left in me today. I would love to have my friend back.
Roxanne had had a rough few years. She had some chronic illnesses, she struggled with addiction and depression. I have to be honest and say that when I talked to Roxanne on the phone or saw her in person, she wasn't the same girl I met 20 years ago and that was hard. It made me really, really sad. I worried about her. I cried and prayed over her. I tried to be the best friend that I could be being several thousand miles away. There isn't a lot you can do for a person who is hurting in another country except pray for them and tell them how much you love them.
I do have to say though, this last year Roxanne made some tremendous changes in her lifestyle and health. The last time I spoke with her she sounded like Roxanne. She wasn't letting the depression and the chronic pain overtake her life anymore. She, in my opinion, was starting to heal. She was not longer allowing illness to become her identity. She had lost 50 pounds. She was on an upswing.
So why? Why did she have to stop breathing in the middle of the night and die? Why wasn't she wearing her CPAP machine? Actually, I know why. She had fallen asleep without it. I am sure she had done it many times. Only this time, it mattered.
I had the honor and privilege to speak at Roxanne's funeral. I didn't know if I was going to get through it or not, but thank God that I did. It was hard coming up with something special to say about someone who's time, I felt, was cut short. Well, in the end, I was honest. As glad as I am that Roxanne is in heaven and that she will never feel pain anymore, I was honest. I wanted my friend back. But that is just selfish of me. See, there is still some "baby girl" left in me today. I would love to have my friend back.
But I bet she wouldn't trade places with where she is sitting now! And I know she is sitting up in heaven just waiting to give me another swift kick in the butt if I need it!
There is so much more to be said but I would be here all night. I hope this did her justice, cause she deserves the best!
I love you Roxanne!
Still muddling through
Here is my baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And his all grown up haircut!!!!!!!
I hate that I haven't written in the blog that much but so much has been going on. Plus, I am still grieving the loss of my friend. Sometimes, I wish there was a button you could push that turned off the sadness, but, unfortunately, there isn't one so you just muddle through.
I do want to have a happy post, though and show off my beautiful baby boy and his new haircut.
When the time seems right, I will post some pictures of Roxanne and I and share with you the wonderful friend that was a big part of my life. I miss her.
Death of a friend
I have been out of pocket for a while. Last week one of my best friends died suddenly and unexpectedly. Her name was Roxanne. If you know me, that name probably sounds familiar as I am sure I have mentioned her a time or two. We didn't get to see each other often and our phone calls were inconsistent, but like all my friends that I have known for years, we could pretty much pick up where we left off.
Needless to say, I am very sad and still quite in shock. I was able to go to the funeral (in Canada of all places) and say goodbye. I wouldn't have missed that for anything.
I told Roxanne's parents that that was not the last time they would see me and they would meet their "adopted" grandchild, Carter! And they will. If you have never been to Prince Edward Island on the provence of New Brunswick, you really should. It is absolutely gorgeous. Greg and I will probably go on vacation there in the near future and stop in to see Rox's parents on the way.
So this is to you, old friend. Gone but not forgotten. I know you are smiling down on us from heaven. Enjoy every minute of it! We will have eternity to catch up.
Needless to say, I am very sad and still quite in shock. I was able to go to the funeral (in Canada of all places) and say goodbye. I wouldn't have missed that for anything.
I told Roxanne's parents that that was not the last time they would see me and they would meet their "adopted" grandchild, Carter! And they will. If you have never been to Prince Edward Island on the provence of New Brunswick, you really should. It is absolutely gorgeous. Greg and I will probably go on vacation there in the near future and stop in to see Rox's parents on the way.
So this is to you, old friend. Gone but not forgotten. I know you are smiling down on us from heaven. Enjoy every minute of it! We will have eternity to catch up.
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