Hope For the Future

Have you ever wanted to repair something but didn't know how? Or knew that it was really out of your control  and as much as you wanted to fix a situation you just couldn't quite put the pieces together to do so? I feel this just about every day in dealing with my ADHD son. I want to figure him out. I want to understand all of his behaviors. I worry. I pray. I wonder. I question. But in the end I can't figure it out.

And then I just have to let go. I continue to pray, especially during the difficult times. It's just part of my faith and when I can truly let go and experience peace. Calling on God to take over, surrendering to the things in this life that are completely out of my control.

I'm reminded often to pray. I don't always do it, but man, when I do, nothing may actually change my circumstances, but it makes them bearable. Not that we don't have our moments. Sometimes those moments drive us to pray without ceasing. And I am convinced that my son's ADHD has a purpose. And one of those purposes it to remind me that I need God to carry me through.

When nothing else makes sense. Nothing is working. When I am doubting, feeling like a failure as a parent, and about to lose my mind I am gently reminded to pray.

And then I reminded. My son is going to be. just. fine.

I don't know what that looks like but I know he's amazing and complex and he's going to be fine. When I feel overwhelmed in today, that's when I have to think about the outcome and how he has so much going for him. We are doing everything possible to give him the best treatment, support and opportunities. Even though a lot of the times I feel like a discipline failure and allow those fears to creep in (what ifs will drive you crazy). I have to TRUST God. I have to TRUST myself and my husband. And I have to TRUST to process.

Each day holds failures and successes as a parent, but I have finally figured out that one, singular day does not decide the fate of my child. It's a compilation of many, many days and years that will develop him into the strong, Christian man of God I KNOW that he will become. And that is what I hold onto when I talk about the "outcome", the future. If I only looked at the day to day, man, some days would just be pretty ugly. And how often do I ignore the good days? Cause I know there are more good days than bad. It's just the bad ones can be so bad that it shadows the good days.

So I try and make a point in recognizing the good. Because that is where I find hope. And it is in those good days that I am reminded that the in the future he's going to be. just. fine.

Prayer. Surrender. Trust. Faith. Hope and whole lot of love. How can that go wrong? His life  may not be the picture that I wanted it to look like but it's not my picture to create. It's my son's picture. And I think he's pretty amazing.

And one day I'm going to look back and see how much the good and the bad shaped him into this incredible man of God who is creative and smart and independent and strong. And, maybe in the back of my mind, I will finally allow myself to consider that, yeah, I had a part in molding him into the man that he is and will become.

Wow. He's going to be just fine.

Hope Does Not Disappoint (even when we do)

The stomach virus has struck our household this week, both boys down. I hope your week has been much less eventful.

I am posting a video that my friend, Cindy Landham sent me earlier in the week. Cindy is a Heath and Wellness coach and I had the privilege to be a part of one of her classes not too long ago. To learn more about Cindy, click HERE.

To preface this video and how it pertains to our discussion on Boundaries the past couple of weeks, I wanted to share that change is hard. Often, it is the most difficult part of any recovery, even lack of boundaries. It's hard work. Know that you will go two steps forward and one step back. You may even "give up" only to return because there is something inside of you urging you on. So you try again. Each time you try, whether you are dealing with boundary issues, eating issues, or addiction issues, know that you are one step closer to reaching your goal. All steps are progress no matter how slow. The only time you truly fail at something is when you permanently give up, never trying again.

I'll just be transparent here. I struggle with food. To say I struggle with my weight is an understatement. I have and do feel like a failure. I have given up. I have also gone forward. I have definitely taken two (or four) steps back.... however, I am going forward in this journey right now. The reason I like this video is that it is inspiring. My friend Cindy sent it because she believes in inspiration. She believes in me and all her Liberated Eating participants/graduates.

This video speaks of hope. It has empirical research to back it up. It speaks to our conversation surrounding boundaries but it can also speak to any struggle. Toward the end of the video, it also speaks to parents dealing with raising independent kids, a subject I touched on in another post not too long ago. If you want to check it out, click HERE.

Hope is the vital piece of the puzzle that keeps us going when we want to give up. Hope allows us to keep going, even when it is difficult to believe. When we have no hope, we give up. So whatever you are dealing with, my prayer is that you will watch this video and leave with hope and inspiration. I sure did.

 A key line in the video that I don't want you to miss is:

"Hope is not how we feel. It's how we think. And it's 100% teachable". - Brene Brown, PH.D.

...and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:5 NAS

My prayer for you is that whatever you are struggling in, whether it be learning new boundaries, controlling your temper, adding patience, or struggling with addiction, that you leave this page with hope. THE HOPE that never disappoints. Never lets us down. Amen!