Buy The Christian Parenting Handbook NOW...get free stuff!

The time has come. Launch week for the new book from NCBP! The Christian Parenting Handbook is available NOW!!! This is the week that you want to order the book and when you do you get FREE STUFF!!! And it's GREAT FREE STUFF!

• The Christian Parenting Handbook electronic versions for iPad, Kindle, Nook or any mobile device ($29.97)
• Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, in You and Your Kids Lesson #1Complete Package including Lesson 1 on Video, MP3, Study Guide, and Children’s Lesson. ($59.95)
• Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, in You and Your Kids Lesson #2Complete Package including Lesson 2 on Video, MP3, Study Guide, and Children’s Lesson. ($59.95)
• Teach Kids to Listen and Follow Instructions on Video, Workbook, MP3, Study Guide, and Children’s Lesson. ($59.95)
•  Correction Ideas that Touch the Heart on Video, Workbook, MP3, Study Guide, and Children’s Lesson. ($59.95)
•  Addressing Bad Attitudes in Kids on Video, Workbook, MP3, Study Guide, and Children’s Lesson. ($59.95)
• Everyday Parents CAN Raise Extraordinary Kids Session #1 on Video, MP3, Study Guide, and Children’s Lesson. ($59.95)
• How to Use The Christian Parenting Handbook 30-minute Video ($24.95)

Click here to see how to participate in Launch Week! In order to make it to the New York Times Bestseller List, they need to sell approximately 10,000 + copies of the book during April 29 – May 5! Wouldn’t be fabulous to have a book that honors God on that list??? I say we do everything we can to help them make that happen!!

The Christian Parenting Handbook Is Almost Here!!!!!!

A couple of weeks ago I posted about the upcoming book launch of The Christian Parenting Handbook by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller RN, BSN! It's actually available now, but don't buy it. Not yet, anyway. Keep reading to find out why.

 



 

I am blessed to be partnering with the National Center for Biblical Parenting (NCBP) to bring my readers all kinds of information and opportunities during this book's launch, April 29-May 5.

 

Inside this guidebook for parents are 50 biblically-based strategies for raising Godly kids. It is full of common sense, biblical and practical ideas that any parent can implement. I think every Christian family will want it in their home library or on their Kindle.

 

The official launch of this book is April 29th through May 5th. It is VERY important that you buy the book during launch week, so, while you could buy the book now, we want you to wait.

In fact, if you wait and buy the book between April 29 and May 5, The Center for Biblical Parenting will give you $400 in parenting resources absolutely FREE! How awesome is that? Click here to discover everything you will receive and how to go about claiming your gifts.

Honestly, that's all you have to do to end up with $400 in parenting resources!!!!

 

Now GO!!! Sign up  to participate in the book launch and to get all your free goodies and plan to  buy your book during launch week!!!! I know I am!!!

 

 

 

We will also be having a twitter party May 1st at 8 PM to spread the word even further! There will also be some cool prize giveaways during the party, so go to Twitter and follow @biblicalparent and look for the hashtag #heartparenting to learn more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Whew! I think that is all....for now. I am excited??? Are you???

Surviving Boston

What can you say about a week like this week? Most of us are still reeling from the Boston Marathon bombings which occurred on Monday. Other tragedies have occurred this week also, explosions in Texas, poisoned letters sent to the President and I could go on.

By Tuesday, I recognized the amount of stress and anxiety the Boston bombing was starting to have on me. I watched the news just like everyone else, I am sure. But with every news story, the repetitive showing of the bombing site and the people falling. Hearing about blood and limbs and then finally, the fact that an eight year old boy was killed, I could sense more and more anxiety building up.

By Wednesday, the anxiety started manifesting itself. It began by good things, like prayer. Prayer for those that were injured, and families of those killed. It then moved into things that I could not control but felt really, really bad about. Specifically, the eight year old innocent child that was killed watching his dad finish a marathon. His mom and sister are critically injured. I have a seven year old and I started to think about him being killed. How would I get through that. Then I started getting jumpy. If Greg had a meeting and it went long and I didn't hear from him, I started thinking something tragic had happened. When I couldn't find Carter on Wednesday, at the house, I was in a near panic (ends up he was in the bathroom, ahem, an unusually long time).

That's when I stopped watching the news. That's when I evaluated why I was feeling this way. And I knew I probably wasn't the only one.

When things feel out of control, we want to control them. And when tragic things happen, even if it didn't happen to us or anyone that we know, we feel out of control. And when we can identify with someone in a close way, much like this family who lost their eight year old son, we desperately want control. We want to be able to do something, anything. And there's just not anything we can physically "do". And that's frustrating. And if it's out of our control, we begin to think "what if", what if something like this happened to my family....

And that is where the anxiety comes in, because we don't have control. 90% of things that happen to us are beyond our control. It's how we choose to respond to them that will determine how they affect us, not the actual event itself.

So, I figured other people were probably feeling like me and I wanted to pass the biggest way you can circumvent your anxiety during moments of national and even local crises.

TURN THE TELEVISION OFF!!!!!!!!

WHY?

First, I don't know if you realize it or not, but news sometimes really isn't news. It's sensationalized information that may or may not come out as actual fact. Think about it, initially how many things were initially "reported" that turned out not to be truth. Because people can access news from so many sources, news media have to do everything they can to get the "scoop".  So often there are things that are reported just for sensationalism purposes because the news reporters are encouraged to keep the attention of the viewers. Keep that in mind.

Second, even if you don't struggle with anxiety, stress or depression, watching traumatic events over and over will increase a sense of helplessness and lack of control that can suddenly increase anxiety symptoms. If you are suffering from anxiety or stress, watching those videos over and over can actually make your symptoms much worse.   ONCE YOU SEE A PICTURE OR A VIDEO OF A TRAUMATIC EVENT YOU CAN'T ERASE IT FROM YOUR MIND. And if you watch it over and over again, it can actually affect how you feel. You might not even realize how it is affecting you until it is too late. Friday night I actually got to see a snippet of an interview on our local news with a psychologist from  Vanderbilt and she spoke about the same thing. That focusing on this tragedy will increase stress and anxiety. (Kinda made me feel good, since I had already written this blog post and she was talking about the same thing....).

Finally, connecting with a traumatic event through similar backgrounds and lifestyles can makes something feel very close and real to your own family. I personally experienced that this week when I started seeing pictures of the little boy who was killed during the bombings. And when you watch their story unfold on TV, and as the week went on they started showing video of the 19 year old placing the bomb near the child, and spinning that tragic story, it just yanks at your emotions, heart, and well being. I was reminded again...turn the TV OFF!!!.  I have a seven year old, this boy was eight. I started thinking of the "what ifs". What if they had chosen a different spot. What if the dad had finished later. What if. What if. What if. Then I started thinking about MY what ifs. What if something happened here. What if something happened to my children. How would I feel if my child had been blown up. What would I do....

Well, as I tell clients, that's a really good way to go crazy. Viewing traumatic events over and over just feed our natural tendency to worry, feel out of control, and when you couple that with similarities with people who have been traumatized, a connection, if you will, it is difficult to separate the feeling that something could actually happen to YOU or YOUR family. And the likelihood of something like that happening is so, so very slim, that is is pointless to even allow it to enter your mind.

So I stopped. I realized what was happening and I turned the television off. I stopped watching news coverage. I didn't read the stories on facebook, I scrolled through pictures and videos quickly so as not to view them because what happened to these people, as tragic and horrible as it was, it was not helping anything in my life and my surroundings for me to make it personal. Because it wasn't personal. It was crazy. And crazy things happen. And we can't control crazy. And I wasn't going to allow the crazy to take over my life.

The best thing I could do was pray. I am a person of faith. I cling to that faith during times like these because, for me, it brings me peace. You may or may not be a person of faith. For me, knowing that something bigger than me is in ultimate control brings ultimate peace. I am safe. My husband is safe. My children are safe. Bad things may happen, but I believe that no matter what happens to us, I can trust that my faith will carry me through. Others struggle with this type of crisis of belief. How could God allow this horrific thing to happen. If God exists and if He is good, why do bad things, tragic things, traumatic things happen.

I will cover that in my next blog post.

Kidney Transplant Waiting...

This week I am deviating a little bit from my normal posts to hopefully raise awareness for those in Renal Failure, those with chronic kidney disease and in need of a kidney transplant. This hits very close to home for us. My dad, Lyndal, is in need of a kidney transplant.

This coming Sunday my family and are a participating in the National Kidney Foundation's Kidney walk in East  Tennessee. We are doing this to raise awareness of kidney disease (1 in 5 Americans have it) and to help the NKF raise funds to help those in kidney failure, people just like my dad.

This picture is of my dad and all of his grand kids, taken back in 2010. This is no small feat, and has only happened this once, since my nephew lives in Minnesota.

My dad has been suffering from kidney failure for a while now. We knew, eventually he would be put on dialysis. His kidneys are currently functioning at about a 15% level. He is very close to getting on dialysis, so close in fact, he already has the port in his arm ready to go at a moments notice in case he goes into complete kidney failure.

Currently, my sister and I are looking into becoming a living donor for my dad. My sister is much closer in this process than I and hopefully we will find out within a week or two if she gets the go ahead to be a living donor, so please say a prayer for our family. We are in the kidney transplant program at Vanderbilt and the statistics state that they turn down 50% of all living donor applicants. My sister has just finished a whole, heap o' testing and she was assured that if she "passes" she can know that she is in extremely excellent health and can give my dad the kidney he so desperately needs.

If you would like to help support us in helping my dad and many others suffering through this illness, please click HERE to see my support page, just click donate on the right hand side of the page. We are currently about halfway to our goal.

Thank you for your prayers and your support.

What Feeds Your Soul??

I was sitting in a group therapy session, as a participant, when I first heard this question asked.

What feeds your soul??

If you really think about it, it's not an easy question to answer. Sure, there are very easy superficial answers. Since I live in the South, deep in the bible belt, most people respond quickly with, "Why Jesus, of course! Jesus feeds my soul". Because that's the "right" answer. And we worry about what other people think so we go with the superficial, right answer rather than the true, gut-wrenching truth.

 Obviously, as a Christian, my focus and belief system turns to Jesus. And yes, reading my bible, praying, and going to church help feed my soul but some of my most draining experiences have been within the modern church. What I have learned from this is that I would rather just fall in love with Jesus with my whole heart and let him lead and guide me to Him...which usually leads to quiet meditation and spending time with him in His word...hello! He tells me where to do His work. Often, though, we view our relationship with Christ as "doing" He longs for relationship, the doing will follow after that. Often we want to do it the other way around.

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says....whoever continues in it--not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it, they will be blessed in what they do"
James 2:22,25

To me this passage says get with Jesus, read his word, listen and then follow and act on what you have heard. So often we act, act, act, do, do, do thinking this will get us closer to Jesus. It's really the other way around. Jesus will lead us where he wants us to go. I want to trust that process. It leads to peace and blessing.

So, not that I want to diminish Jesus, or faith, but we need to broaden our view on feeding our soul. It's deep, more complex, multi-faceted.

This week you need to focus on what really feeds your soul. When people would get stumped at this question, the therapist would ask, "what did you really enjoy doing as a child?" "What were you really good at and enjoyed in high school?" For some people they would answer dancing. Some, it would be a sport like basketball. The therapist would then encourage them to go play. Whatever resonates in the deepest part of their soul that is satisfying, playful and enjoyable.

And while reading and going to get a manicure are enjoyable, lets be honest. They truly don't feed the deepest part of your soul. Those are more of a distraction.

This week I want to really delve into the differences between distracting ourselves and truly investing in self-care.

A great handout that I received from another therapist  can be found at www.evelyntribole.com. Unfortunately, they come in a packet of all her worksheets and cost $129.00, so I want to source her for the information I am about to give from her worksheet, "Deconstructing Eating Behavior". I have a feeling that you probably don't want to spend $129.00 for this info, as good as it is! Evelyn Tribole is a Nutrition Therapist and I have been reading her book, "Intuitive Eating", that she co-authored with another Nutrition Therapist.

Even though she is talking about food, when we struggle with other issues (like depression or anxiety) we can still look at what is going on inside to figure out our actions on the outside. This worksheet gives a great description of the differences in true self-care and merely doing other things, which are helpful, but don't really get to the "gut" of the issue.

Here goes:
Distraction: Music, Internet (ie: Pinterest!!!), Watch funny movie, Go to a bookstore
Support: Call, text or email a friend, Talk with minister, Talk with therapist
Deal with Feeling Directly: Write in Journal, feelings app (I've talked about that previously), Reframe thoughts or feeling, Listen to music that matches feeling, Write a letter, Talk with Therapist
Self-care: Set limits, Respect self-vulnerability, "Alone" time, Sleep/rest, Write in Journal, Unplug phone, computer
*Tribole, Evelyn; Deconstructing Eating Behavior Worksheet; www.evelyntribole.com

For a minute just think about this list. And see where you could go with it. Figure out if what you have been doing is truly nurturing yourself (although doing all of these is nurturing to a point) or just distracting yourself from the true feeling. All of these things on this list are good. Some of them just go deeper than others.

I love music, I always have. Because music feeds my soul I listen to it a lot. In the car, in the mornings during quiet meditation, I put music in when I am stressed out. I listen to worship music to focus on my relationship with Christ. I listen to music when I'm working out. Music moves me. It feeds me and over the years I have discovered that I need to be a part of something musical in order for my soul to be filled.

One way that I use music to feed my soul is by taking guitar lessons.  I like to sing but have never mastered learning an instrument (me and the piano just don't get along). But, with the guitar, I have found that while it's not easy, it seems you make quicker progress than with the piano. I wish I had more time to practice and really hone the skill, but my teacher is great wants me to enjoy this process rather than being a real disciplinarian about it. He makes it fun. And for that I am thankful.

 

What feeds your soul?

Get back to that playful self you remember. For some that will be through becoming involved in a competitive sport. Others it will be taking dance classes, or putting in the Just Dance DVD once a week. Write. Pick up that musical instrument (if it brings you joy). Figure it out. Then be strong enough to follow  it through. Even if you are met with resistance.

Remember you are worth it. Do not feel guilty. Love yourself enough to set healthy limits. And let go. You cannot control it all. It is pointless, futile, frustrating and can lead to so many problems. Just learn to let it go and find joy.

Next week we will finish up on self care with a few relaxation techniques. However, I did find this great website with 25 ways to Self-Nurture. Check it out HERE!



Reflections On My Second BlissDom!!!!

I just got back from the best weekend. I am still exhausted and curled in the fetal position from all that socializing (which I learned was OK from Susan Cain, author of the New York Times Best Seller, Quiet) , but I had to recap my thoughts ASAP.

First off, BlissDom is a conference for women (a premier conference for women, according to the BlissDom website :) ) who choose to publish online. So, the majority of the conference helps women be the best blogger they can be. There are four tracks: Business, Writing, Photography, and Life Development.

I typically hang out in the Writing and Life Development tracks. I NEED the photography tracks because my photos suck (see below) LOL!, but it's not my passion so I have never attended a photo track...yet.

Annie Downs

BlissDom is the only social media conference I have ever attended, and this was just my second year, so I don't have a lot to compare it to, but overall, I think it is pure awesomeness!!!! It inspires, encourages and lifts me up. I am also very exhausted once it is over. This year it was held in Dallas, Texas at the Gaylord Texan ( a big BOO! for that since I live in middle Tennessee where the previous BlissDom's were held).

I have a group of friends that I generally hang with and make the weekend extra-spectacular. I truly believe going to BlissDom last year, was a gift from God. I have Ah-mazing women in my life now because of it. Most of those ladies were able to return to BlissDom this year, two of them actually speaking at the event. I really enjoyed hanging with my friend Tami, Sue, Michelle, and new friend Shannon. I briefly got to see Alli (one of the founders of BlissDom) and Dedra, who was part of our group last year, but she works the conference so we got to see her in-between her breaks, which were few and far between.

So, here are my top four take aways from a great conference.

1) The speakers. I heard Jon Acuff, Tami Heim, and Annie Downs. I heard a few others here and there but these are the three that stood out to me. I was challenged, inspired and moved by all three for three very different reasons. Jon kicked our butts into gear about getting things done (instead of wasting time). Tami taught us leadership skills and helped us find out what our inner strengths are. And Annie, Annie inspired me and pushed me to write with authenticity and realness. I like to do that anyway, but she really encouraged stepping out of your comfort zone and talk about the things you know you need to be writing about, and sometimes they might be the things you don't want to write about, but people need to hear.

My friend, Tami Heim speaking on leadership skills

Good stuff.

2) Community. Overall, everyone is super friendly at the conference. There are plenty of opportunities to meet and mingle, pass out business cards, talk about your blog, etc. There is just a fun spirit at BlissDom and plenty of opportunities to get to know other people without feeling like you are networking all the time.

3) The Free stuff . Each day of the conference there were kick-offs, happy hours, give aways at the sponsors and multiple vendors booths which were all centrally located. I still haven't gotten over the fact that I DIDN'T win the free mattress at the National Sleep Foundations room, but hey, I learned about how to get a good night's sleep and if I had gotten there early enough, I could have signed up for a free manicure.

4) FUN!!!!! We had Girls Night Out, Girls Night In, all paid for by sponsors. We had music, dancing and some had drinks. We were able to tweet to help fight child hunger in America while we were being serenaded by Chris Mann and we had yummy dinner and dessert given to us by Con-Agra foods.

Here is a picture of me with a minion. They were promoting the new Despicable Me 2 movie...

They even had free boxes and shipping for BlissDom participants to ship all their free swag home without having to go over the weight limit of their bag at the airport. SWEET!!!!!

So, next year when you hear me talking about Blissdom, and you are involved in social media, blogging, writing, etc. in any way, then you better get your ticket and be there.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it comes back to Tennessee where it belongs. Other than that, I hope Blissdom never changes.

The Three B's....

This week we are continuing our talk on self-care. As a mom, who works part time and is very involved in her church, I realize, just as you do how easy it is to become tired, drained and even depressed by all the responsibilities women have on them in this day and age. The past few weeks we have defined self-care. We have talked about setting healthy boundaries. Today, I want to share the truth about women and self-care.

The truth is that women know that self-care is important. That if they make time for themselves they will be happier, more rested and have happier family lives. In fact, I would imagine that if you asked any women about the benefits of self-care they would agree that it would be a great thing to do.

However, according to a study that the people at Suave did a few years ago, partnered with a sociology professor, Dr. Katherine Gerson from NYU, stated that 80% of moms did not spend any time on self-care, even though 93% of those moms reported that they felt better when they took the time to take care of themselves.

What???

Even though 76% of women reported that felt happier and more attractive when they took care of themselves and 72 % felt more self confident the statistic shows that even though women KNOW that it is beneficial, 80% just. don't. do. it.

Why???

66% reported that GUILT is one of the primary barriers.

Sigh.

Just let me shoot it to you straight ladies. Guilt, when delivered to ourselves, is generally nothing but self-condemnation disguised as something that is beneficial. In other words we feel like we should feel guilty. We're mom's, right? Mom stands for "guilt". Leaving kids behind, going to work, dropping them off at the nursery, not knowing every discipline technique. Blah, Blah, blah. And it doesn't matter if you are a stay at home mom or a working mom, there is guilt. Am I spending too much time with my kids, are my kids getting enough socialization?? Blah, blah, blah. It is so easy to make yourself feel guilty, it is very easy to allow others to make you feel guilty. It is very easy take on guilt. It can become a part of you. You start apologizing frequently. You get in the habit of self-doubt. You don't know when to say yes to something or no. You are paralyzed in fear. That is what misguided guilt can do.

 We are wrongly judging ourselves. We are our own worst enemy. Guilt has it's place. We were born with a conscience, the ability to know right from wrong. When we do something wrong, we feel guilty. When you are a mom and you have to make a tough decision, it is natural to feel guilty. But if you find yourself continually beating yourself up over those decisions it has moved beyond guilt and into shame (self-condemnation). That is why I talked about how having good personal and professional boundaries are so important. Someone who is balanced with themselves and know how to balance themselves with others experience less self-condemnation.

So how do I get rid of the guilt and start doing the things I know that are good for me?

1. Boundaries. We have already covered this in a previous post, but it is so absolutely connected to laying guilt aside and being the confident woman that God has created you to be. It has amazingly, wonderful positive consequences when implemented.

2. Balance. Closely tied to boundaries, having a balanced life means understanding that you can't have it all and you just have to know when to let things go. Balance means having confidence in your decisions, even when it hurts. You may have to go to that meeting and miss a special family dinner. Or, you may be able to tell your boss that you must leave at 4:30 in order to make your daughters ballet performance. It means knowing when to say "no" to that extra responsibility at church. And generally being OK with the hard decisions you have to make. Trusting yourself when you make the hard decisions that you are being healthy, realistic and doing the best that you can.

3. Blend. As a therapist, one of the things I teach my clients is the power of being flexible and not being so black and white. Having more gray areas in their life. People who have the ability to see things from both sides without judgement have more positive thinking. People who see things very black and white tend to have more negative thinking. We call this "all or nothing thinking". And many of us (me included) make assumptions in our thinking instead of asking questions and using communication to clarify what they think they are seeing or feeling. Then, people take on those assumptions as truth. If a person does this enough, research shows us that we can actually get into the habit of thinking negatively and believing those thoughts as truth. The professional term for this is "stinkin thinkin". :-) The best solution to "all or nothing thinking" is to learn to ask questions and use positive self-talk instead of just automatically believing everything you think.

Ultimately, it is up to each of us to take responsibility for our feelings and how we process those feelings and thoughts about ourselves. I am hoping that by having this discussion and giving you a little insight into HOW to stop the guilt that you can take the steps in moving forward and stop the negative feelings and whatever else that is keeping you from being the best that you can be .

 Sometimes just starting with accepting ourselves, loving ourselves and reminding ourselves how much we are loved and why we are here will be the first and best step in making small, positive changes.

See how great a love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him.

I John 3:1

Hmmm....maybe that is truly the first step in taking care of ourselves, believing that we are WORTH the TLC we deserve.


for more info on the Suave studay, this is the best one I could find in a pinch that explained best. ARTICLE

Christian Parenting Handbook Book Launch!

I am excited to share information about a new parenting book releasing in April. I will be sharing more information as the time draw nears but I wanted to share this promo video with you this week.



This book may be new, but Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller are hardly new on the parenting book scene. I am honored and proud to be a representative of the National Center for Biblical Parenting, which was started by Scott and Joanne. They present different parenting seminars, have written numerous books on parenting. Have a FABULOUS website, with so many different books, seminars, practical tips and simple solutions to common parenting issues. And you can access a lot of their tips, articles, etc. for free on their website, www.biblicalparenting.org! A few years ago they started training representatives to help them spread the message on heart-based parenting. That's how I got to know them. In 2007 I was trained in their Parenting is Heart Work seminar. Since then I have spoken at churches, conferences and trainings representing NCBP. I am very thankful for this opportunity to be part of this new book launch.

Now, Scott and Joanne are coming out with a book with 50 strategies for every stage of your child's life entitled, Christian Parenting Handbook. And it is biblically based, like all of their other material.

Here is a short video clip telling you more. Something to whet your appetite, so to speak. Stay tuned! Click below.

Christian Parenting Handbook 

For more information go to www.christianparentinghandbook.com



Hope Does Not Disappoint (even when we do)

The stomach virus has struck our household this week, both boys down. I hope your week has been much less eventful.

I am posting a video that my friend, Cindy Landham sent me earlier in the week. Cindy is a Heath and Wellness coach and I had the privilege to be a part of one of her classes not too long ago. To learn more about Cindy, click HERE.

To preface this video and how it pertains to our discussion on Boundaries the past couple of weeks, I wanted to share that change is hard. Often, it is the most difficult part of any recovery, even lack of boundaries. It's hard work. Know that you will go two steps forward and one step back. You may even "give up" only to return because there is something inside of you urging you on. So you try again. Each time you try, whether you are dealing with boundary issues, eating issues, or addiction issues, know that you are one step closer to reaching your goal. All steps are progress no matter how slow. The only time you truly fail at something is when you permanently give up, never trying again.

I'll just be transparent here. I struggle with food. To say I struggle with my weight is an understatement. I have and do feel like a failure. I have given up. I have also gone forward. I have definitely taken two (or four) steps back.... however, I am going forward in this journey right now. The reason I like this video is that it is inspiring. My friend Cindy sent it because she believes in inspiration. She believes in me and all her Liberated Eating participants/graduates.

This video speaks of hope. It has empirical research to back it up. It speaks to our conversation surrounding boundaries but it can also speak to any struggle. Toward the end of the video, it also speaks to parents dealing with raising independent kids, a subject I touched on in another post not too long ago. If you want to check it out, click HERE.

Hope is the vital piece of the puzzle that keeps us going when we want to give up. Hope allows us to keep going, even when it is difficult to believe. When we have no hope, we give up. So whatever you are dealing with, my prayer is that you will watch this video and leave with hope and inspiration. I sure did.

 A key line in the video that I don't want you to miss is:

"Hope is not how we feel. It's how we think. And it's 100% teachable". - Brene Brown, PH.D.

...and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:5 NAS

My prayer for you is that whatever you are struggling in, whether it be learning new boundaries, controlling your temper, adding patience, or struggling with addiction, that you leave this page with hope. THE HOPE that never disappoints. Never lets us down. Amen!

Boundaries...continued

This week we will be talking about boundaries and how that ties in to self-care. Last week we discussed how the mind plays a huge part in how we take care of ourselves. How we think and respond to life around us has a huge impact on our stress level and ability to deal with stress. And life is stressful. Even if things are going well, just dealing with modern technology and the speed at which we live is extremely draining. Add in a few life "bumps" and well, it doesn't take long before our emotional bank has hit empty.

How do having good boundaries help in this area? Why is this even connected to self-care? Later on in the blog I will share Margaret Feinberg's personal experience with learning Boundaries as she shared in her recent book, Wonderstruck.

First, let's define boundaries. I'm going to be using info from primarily two or three books, which I will include a reference to at the end of this blog.

Boundaries is defined by Merriam-Webster dictionary as:

 A line that marks the limits of an area. A dividing line.

Other sources define boundaries as a symbolic line in the sand: Something that indicates a border or limit

 Or one of my favorites, is using the symbol of a circle. This is found in the book, Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin by Anne Katherine, M.A. In the book, which is primarily used with people who have suffered sexual abuse sometime in their life, they have an exercise at the end of chapter one. You are in the middle of a circle and everything that you love, believe, feel, want, desire, hate, is in that circle. You decide what is in the circle and you decide what is outside the circle. If you do not have good boundaries, then that circle really doesn't exist. If you don't have a strong sense of self, you are going to allow things in that circle that a person with healthy boundaries would not allow in.

This is a specific exercise that I do with people in a session. I have had some people have extreme difficulty completing this exercise. The have almost no sense of self, or who they are. I have had others have no difficulty naming their values, beliefs, what they love and what they hate and what they want in that circle.

 In the book, Boundaries, by Cloud and Townsend, they explain in detail how having healthy boundaries are not only biblical,  but necessary. Without appropriate boundaries we can become very angry or bitter. Some of us may have great professional boundaries while our personal boundaries are a wreck, or vice versa. We may be saying "yes" to things we need to say "no" too. We may be avoiding things we need to say "yes" too. In this book, the authors specifically address why we get angry or feel frustrated when we have misplaced boundaries. I highly recommend reading this book, going through the study, or doing the workbook on your own or with a friend or counselor.

I wanted to share with you a great example of learning about boundaries.  In Margaret Feinberg's new book, Wonderstruck.  Margaret spends a chapter on a time in her life when she was essentially, depressed, emotionally drained, exhausted. She had a difficult time getting out of bed. Really had no desire for the things that she had previously. Margaret wisely sought out a christian counselor in her area. Margaret was amazed to find out that she needed help with boundaries. She thought she had a great boundaries, but what she needed was to balance out her life. Over time, and going through Cloud and Townsend's book and videos, she learned that she was saying "yes" to way too many things without considering how this was affecting her personal life.

And if you think you have Boundaries, well, Margaret had read it TWICE. Her counselor called her on her lack of application to anything in the book. And I think that's what happens to a lot of people. Just because you read something once, or even twice, does not mean you have it mastered. You have merely scratched the surface.

This is what Margaret learned about Boundaries, or lack thereof, excerpt from her book, Wonderstruck; chapter 4: A Sanctuary in Time:

"The pace of life became a place of torment. My life was a smoking treadmill I'd been running on at level ten speed at an incline of ten since childhood...freedom wasn't found in tossing the treadmill, but in discovering a maintainable pace".

Through several counseling sessions and a lot of hard work and homework, Margaret began to take responsibility for her life:

"The pace of my life was my making, and only I could undo it. The grassy meadows and still waters described in the Twenty-third Psalm awaited, but I had to choose to answer the invitation of the Good Shepherd".

Margaret goes on to share how she and her husband "committed to realigning their lives". They changed their work schedule, meal times, added exercise and they found themselves "more rested and fully present". Change doesn't happen over night and Margaret talks about swinging too far into extremes shortly after her new lifestyle change. That is very normal. When learning something new and life changing you can expect mistakes and extremes until you get the flow down. I think this can be applied to many areas of our lives.

 When I came across this chapter in the book I literally cheered. I applaud Margaret's transparency, I mean, it takes a lot to admit that you needed counseling. Hopefully, it will help expel the myth that counseling if only for people who are really "messed up", or just for people who are going through a crisis. Finding a good counselor who can look into your life with neutrality is key. Why not be proactive and go ahead and dig into those issues that you see appearing and reappearing in your life over and over and work on that so that you can be the best that you can be.

 You can rest all you want, have snippets of down time, do things for yourself, but without proper boundaries you will always be emptying your emotional bank before it can get filled. As difficult as it is to learn and implement boundaries, you have to figure out your world, your circle, and what fits in it and what doesn't in order to be the most whole, complete person you can be. THAT is why it is so important in the total art of self-care.

I hope today you can start working on your boundaries...I don't know ANYONE who couldn't benefit from further exploration in this area. And that includes ME!!!!


I am meditating on this passage of scripture this week:

The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul; the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple; the precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes; the fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever; the rules of the Lord are true, and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, even more fine gold; sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb. Moreover, by them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward.

Psalm 19:7-11

The Lord gave laws as boundaries. Boundaries are important to God. He has put them there for our own good. To keep us whole. To keep us healthy. But we have to choose to follow him and his laws. I don't know about you but I want the above!! Doesn't mean everything goes your way, but you take responsibility for what is yours and leave the rest to God. You can trust him. He created boundaries for our good.

Have a blessed week!!!

MInd and Body, It's All Connected....

What do you think of when you read the above title?

Last week I began with an introduction to women taking care of themselves. I don't know any female client that I see that we don't go over self-care and how they keep balance in this insane, sometimes chaotic whirlwind we call LIFE. There is enough research that shows that stress inside the body comes out in various, unhealthy ways if we do not learn how to manage it.

Self-care is the art of nurturing yourself. Taking care of not only your body, but also your mind. It goes way deeper than that, but today I want to talk about the importance of how your mind plays a huge role in how you feel about yourself, how you respond to stress and ways that you can start improving how you look at yourself and how you look at life.

This is why self-care is more than just scheduling time for yourself, or finding an extra-curricular activity you enjoy. It's the total package. And scheduling time for yourself is an important part of taking care of yourself, but it's a whole lot easier to do those things when you truly believe that you are worth it. See how the mind plays a role in that?


If you start with the inside, it will be easier to put into habit the wonderful extraneous stuff that also feeds your soul, such as that regularly scheduled massage. But a lot of good it will do to feed your soul by getting a massage, taking a bubble bath or getting a manicure if you still think negative things about why you are doing them. Or if you feel guilt or shame for carving out time for yourself (which is just another form of negativity) and "stinking thinking", which I will go into in a moment.

First, the mind....

I did a quick search on bible passages (and I mean quick) and found over 37 verses about renewing our mind.. Here are a couple of my favorites.

Romans 12:1-2 ESV  

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

2 Corinthians 4:16 ESV    

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.

I don't know about you, but it is very easy for me to get stuck in "stinking thinking". And a healthy person can see that pattern and generally turn it around. Sometimes, life events happen that make it very difficult to pull ourselves out of negative thinking. If you struggle with depression or even anxiety, your mind is often not filled with good things. This is also known as the "critical self".

Oh yeah, we are our own worst enemy.

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 23:7

Women who know how to nurture themselves generally don't have a habit of negative thinking. She is able to reason within her heart what is good and what is bad (Philippians 4:8). It doesn't mean she doesn't ever have a negative thought or wallow in a bad mood now and then. But overall, a woman who knows how to take care of herself knows what she needs, gets those needs met appropriately, and renews her mind on. good. things.

So how do I renew my mind?

The best place to start is just to be aware of how you think. Don't try and change anything, but maybe keep a journal for a week or two about what you are thinking about each day. For people with severe depression and anxiety, therapists often get them to complete a "mood chart" each day. A client recently informed me that there is actually an app for your smart phone you can add that will track your daily mood. Yep. They have an app for that! HERE is a link for more info on that app, appropriately titled, "Moody Me".

Once we see how we are thinking then we can work on changing it. It is amazing once women start doing this they can see how much "stinking thinking" they have allowed in. Poor communication, making assumptions, all or nothing thinking....all of these types of thinking (and lots more) affect our mood, our stress levels and ultimately, our interactions with others in a negative way.

There is an awesome book by David D. Burns, MD that you can get HERE called The Feeling Good Handbook. It. Is. Amazing. And it can go much further in depth than I can with teaching you how to renew your mind (and improve your mood, communication and interactions with others).

We are not done with talking about the mind, but that is all for today. Your homework this week, if you choose to accept it...is to keep a journal of your thoughts, your moods, and how that played a role in how you interacted with others. Put it all in there, the good , bad and the ugly. You are the only one that is going to be looking at it. If you find a lot of negative stuff in there, then get Dr. Burns book. And tune in here next time as we go further with mindfulness and the role it plays in taking care of YOU!!!

It starts in the mind.

Have a great week!!!

Mommy Needs a Time Out, Too!

As a therapist, whenever I see a female client we generally always get around to how she takes care of herself. Most of the time, the female client has a really hard time explaining how she goes about taking care of herself. I'm not saying every woman that I have seen in counseling is lacking in this area, but it came to my attention pretty quickly that when women present to a therapist with depressive symptoms, weight gain, anxiety, among other issues, typically, self-care is lacking or non-existent.

I wanted to take a few weeks and really take the time to educate people out there about self-care and how important it is in this crazy life we are living. I mean, lets face it, unless you are Amish, living on a farm somewhere secluded, with no accessibility to electronic devices, we all share similar life stressors. We all go through life stages. Sometimes those stages are wonderful and fun and fulfilling. Other times, they are depressing, overwhelming and emotionally draining.

Our ability to sustain and take care of ourselves (and others) will have a huge impact on how we recover when life throws us those curve balls. Sometimes the curve balls keep coming. Sometimes we think the worst has happened and we find ourselves empty, void, and depressed. Unable to fight back any longer. Unable to spring back, revitalized, yet again. We are done. Finished.

So how do we prepare ourselves for life's ups and downs?

Simply put, we have to take the time to care for ourselves even when we think we don't have the time. You can ignore your body, you can ignore the depressive symptoms, you can deny being spiritually, physically and emotionally drained...you can ignore these symptoms, for a time. But the body has a funny way of letting you know when it's had enough.For some this is physical symptoms such as intestinal issues, inflammation, heartburn and anxiety attacks. These are signals our body is giving us that we need to slow down and take better care of ourselves. For others, it leads to more serious symptoms, some people are hospitalized. Some people are near nervous breakdowns. It doesn't have to get to that point, it shouldn't take hospitalization in order for us to take notice of what we are doing to our body (and our soul and our spirit).

If there is anything I could teach women it would be the art of self-care. So, that is what I am going to set out to do in the next few posts and weeks. Break it down. Educate. Empower.

First things first. What is self-care? And what is it NOT?

Next time we will look in depth at exactly what self-care is, the definition and what it is not.

Here is a hint. As wonderful as taking a hot bubble bath is and making time to go get a mani/pedi can be stress relieving, or having a girls night out every now and then can increase bond with others; true self-care comes from inner values of what we find important. Knowing who we are. Our purpose, and why we are here.

It is a process of nurturing ourselves over the long run, not just a quick fix it like taking a hot bath or reading a favorite book. Granted, those should be incorporated into our lives. They are healthy. They are important.

But there is much, much more to it than that.

I leave you with a question: What is self-care to you?


Can't wait to dig into this with you guys!!!!

Three Reminders I Need to Equip Me to Effectively Parent My Seven Year Old

Today is the day.   For some reason my boy turning seven this year has affected me more emotionally than usual. So, I started reflecting on why?? I mean, I not only felt sadness, but a little anxiety. It was almost like it hit me that my husband and I are truly in charge of raising this little human being and this human being is not so little anymore.

This is a different developmental phase we are entering. Things are changing, and well, things are about to get more and more complicated. This is a time of greater independence and I think what hit me was, Greg and I are going be seeing more and more the results of some of our parenting. Our pouring into Carter. And... what if it doesn't turn out well?? Eek!!! (I mean, come on, do you NOT ever wonder what if?????)

So, these are somethings I have had to remind myself of this week as I processed moving to a different developmental stage.

1) Even though I may not see the influence that Greg and I have on Carter every day, there are days when we see it and it confirms that we are doing something right.

Some days with Carter are hard and challenging. Some days are wonderful. Some days I want to give up. But, every once in a while, OK, quite often, I see how Greg and I are influencing him in a positive way. The problem is we tend to focus more on the problems rather than the successes. It is so much easier to freak out over a minor behavioral issues rather than the big picture. It is also easier to focus on the negative rather than the positive. Believe me, I can teach parents all day long to focus on positives to reinforce the positives, but when it comes to day to day life with MY child it's harder than it appears.

So this year I am reminding myself to see the positive

2) Teaching my kids to act right and have good manners and social skills takes time, energy and a lot of patience.

Let's face it. We all want perfect children, right? I mean we would never say that, but get in public with others and you want your child to act perfect, because it reflects how good a job at parenting we are doing. Wait. Did I just say that? Yes, I did. I often lose my patience more in public than in private because I have this high expectation on my kids to reflect me in a good light. That is wrong. It is prideful. And I have learned I will always leave that situation with egg on my face and heart full of regret.

If I am not consistent in teaching my kids how to act on a regular basis, why do I think they are magically going to have those skills when we are in public. Now more than ever, I have to take advantage of every situation to make it into a learning situation. Having a dialogue as to why we don't do that but do this. Carter is only going to become more independent.  And if my child does not act how I want him to act remember he's a kid, and he's not supposed to be perfect and this is how he learns.

I could go on and on about this, but I will save that for a separate post.

So this year I am reminding myself to remember that every moment can be a teachable moment.


3) Carter is going to fail. He's going to mess up. He might not always make the best decisions, but this is critical to how he will learn to make better decisions.

Developmentally, 7-9 year old years means we are entering a time of more independence and your child wanting to make more decisions about his day to day life. There is a fine line that parents walk during this time. Some parents don't want there kids to be hurt, fail, or make mistakes. Therefore, they go rescue them whenever they see a potential "train wreck". This is  commonly referred to as "helicopter" parenting. And we all have a little bit of that in us and that's okay. But when we as parents continually protect, control, and ultimately make decisions for our children based on keeping them safe, we are crippling them and their ability to be independent one day.

I admit this is hard. I have felt it. I have to remind myself to butt out!

Let me give you a couple of examples:

When Carter comes home complaining that his friends were mean to him ALL DAY, didn't play with him, didn't sit with him, etc. I don't pick up the phone or get online and try to fix or figure out what happened and was my child mistreated. I just try to understand his feelings and empathize with him on how bad that particular day must have been for him and help him see what he could do differently next time.

 If your kid has a really bad, difficult teacher, teach your child to respect those in authority no matter what. They can't quit something because they are not getting along with someone. Same with a coach, Sunday school teacher, etc. Any adult your child has to interact with on a weekly basis. This is YOUR opportunity to teach your child how to get along with others and not quit. As hard as it is, allow your child to feel discomfort, to not always get his way, and to teach him how to live with difficulty. Too many times we just want to rescue.

A great couple of books to read on this is

Parenting Is Heart Work

Helicopters, Drill Sergeants, and Consultants

It's a lot easier to take over and "fix" the situation than to let your child suffer. We want to take over. When you feel this way, it is a great opportunity to stop and pray and ask for wisdom! This is when you have to see your kid unhappy, fail or even possibly get really hurt by others. This when parenting gets hard (er).

So this year I am reminding myself to be more of a "consultant" and less of a "helicopter"

I think this is where my anxiety was coming from. My little boy is growing up. I guess I just needed to remind myself, again, that I am already equipped, through Christ to do this. I'm not going to be perfect, I don't have to be perfect AND neither does Carter. We both need grace, prayer, consistency and lots and lots of hugs for when life gets hard. And the reality is, it's going to get harder.

But, I still have time. We can do this. We are equipped to do this. And as scary and anxiety provoking as it can be, it's really cool seeing this little human being becoming his own.

I love you Carter.

Happy New Year!!!

I hope everyone had a blessed, safe and non-eventful New Years Eve!!!

We stayed home and had a very low key (boring) evening. Got the boys in bed and attempted to stay up until midnight and almost made it. The in laws kept the boys for a few hours new years day and what did we do

We sat down and looked over our budget for the year and how to stay on that budget. We also set family goals, personal goals, business goals and ministry goals. Whew!

I have to say it was awesome though, it is something that we talk about a lot but have not followed through on. We want to be more organized and goal-oriented. I've been watching videos and downloading free e-books on the subject of de-cluttering and goal setting. But that part is easy. It's the follow through that is often the hardest part.

I'm hoping in the next few weeks to share some of my struggles and even some triumphs in this journey to get organized and de-clutter. I might even share a few of my more personal goals. We'll see.

The first thing I did today was "like" this page on facebook after a friend posted about de-cluttering her home in 2013 and posted this great calendar (that I have already printed off). Basically, you spend 15 minutes a day de-cluttering so by the time the end of the month/year you have actually accomplished a lot, rather than spending, say, four hours on a project then ignoring that part of your home again until it's all cluttered up again (ahem, guilty here). I also downloaded a free e-book on scheduling cleaning each day, something that intrigues me also. Anyway, you can get to her website from her facebook page and download everything I did. She asked that people not share her link, so if you go to this website, you will be able to find everything  I did.

So, what are some of your goals for 2013. I don't call them resolutions. Goals. Let me hear about them!!!!

Sadie's Celebration Service

I wanted to share Sadie Davis' Celebration of Life service will be live streamed tomorrow, December 27th, 2012. You do need an account to view the service. They recommend registering for the account today.

Click HERE to view the link to The Journey Church, where Sadie's service will be held tomorrow.

Click HERE to view Sadie's Caring Bridge page and read her whole story. You will also get a picture of Tim and Amber's strength and faith throughout this journey.

So heartbreaking. I'm thankful that God is close to the brokenhearted. I'm praying they feel that closeness like nothing else in the next few days, weeks and months.

Thanks!

A Christmas Tribute to Sadie

It's Christmas Eve and I have a couple of very excited kids! They even got to eat cookies for breakfast (I am sure I will regret that choice later). I have not wrapped ONE present. Not one, I know. It will make for a fun evening later. Thankfully, the gifts Santa leaves for the kids are not wrapped. Because why would Santa wrap presents. LOL.

This is a very bittersweet  this year. The Small Town Shootings. Some dear friends just lost their little girl to a 40 day battle with  leukemia. Her funeral will be a couple of days after Christmas. I cannot even imagine what they are feeling and going through and I won't even try, because there is no feeling I have felt that compares with the loss of a living, breathing child that had her whole life ahead of her. A 17 month old, blue-eyed, blond fiesty baby girl. Sadiebug.



I never had the opportunty to meet Sadie. Our families moved in different directions and different churches and to be honest, I am not particularly close to Amber or Tim. I've known Tim for 12 years and we used to be leaders in the singles department at church years ago. But, the last few we have kept up on facebook, like so many people do these days. So even though I never got to meet Sadie, I saw pictures of Amber being pregnant and complaining about the heat (second pregnancies are NOT fun anyway, but giving birth in July must be torture). Sadie was born and Amber is an awesome photographer and had so many great pictures of Eli, Sadie's big brother, and of course, of Sadie. Most of the time in an owl hat or big bow.

She was precious.

This is the verse Tim and Amber had dedicated to Sadie in her fight with Leukemia.

My prayer for Tim and Amber is that they still have HOPE. And I believe they do. In the midst of the worst we still have hope if we have faith. And Tim and Amber have faith. And I don't know why this has happened to them, but I know Sadie has touched so many lives through this event and for whatever reason, Sadie was meant to be here and touch those lives and she will touch more lives in her passing. And in that there is comfort and hope and peace. And knowing they will be reunited again. And comfort in knowing that Sadie is whole and healthy and enjoying heaven. Oh, beautiful girl. We know where you are and as painful as it is that you had to go through so much, the reassurance that you will not experience any more pain is comforting. 

I don't have any words of wisdom for Tim and Amber, and truly, it is not my place to give words of wisdom. What could I say that would truly be of comfort to them? Just a little advice if you have a situation where you have a grieving mother or father ( or anyone else for that matter) you don't have to say anything. You don't have to come up with even a bible verse. And please don't say "it was God's will" or "she's better off". Acknowledge that this is a horrible situation and that you are thinking, praying, crying with them in love. That's all any grieving person needs. They don't need words right now.

Tim and Amber have showed a strong faith throughout. But even with a strong faith, this has to be the most difficult thing they have gone through and in the weeks and months to follow I am sure they will feel many, many feelings. Some of them may not be so nice. Some of them may be anger. They need to know it's ok. And even if they feel mad at God at some point, it's okay. We have a God that is big enough to handle it. It's just part of the process of grief....feelings.

Thursday is Sadie's celebration of life. Her funeral. I will be there. I am sure I will see a lot of people I know and love. And I wish we were meeting and spending time together under different circumstances.

I am going to soak up every moment of this Christmas Eve with my healthy children. Tim and Amber and the Davis family reminds me yet again that life is a gift, as are children. My children are gifts. My husband is a gift. My prayer is that I don't hold onto them too tightly, because they aren't mine. God chose to bless me and give them to me as gifts. Life is short. Life is hard. But it is also very, very good. And everyday I make the choice to hold onto my kids or give them back to the Lord. Some days I don't do too well but it always goes better when I remember they aren't mine. they are gifts.

This year I am not only reflecting on Christ's birth and the wonderful gift that He was, but also the wonderful gift of children. And I am going to hold them tight.

If the Davis family comes to your mind during the next few days and even weeks, please keep them in your prayers. And remember to keep giving your gifts away, every day.



I'm Too Good In A Crisis

Sometimes I really hate being a therapist. I hate it because I spent the beginnings of my career in crisis work. I also worked as a school based therapist for three years. I have had multiple trainings in trauma, including a three day training specifically geared at being prepared for a traumatic/crisis event at a school.

What difference does this make? It makes me numb to trauma. I feel separated from it. I don't allow myself to get really involved. The good thing about that is I'm great in a crisis. I stay calm. I'm trained on how to provide on the spot counseling and assess someone who has been exposed to trauma. I'm all business where trauma is concerned. The bad part is, well, I don't feel a lot. I feel disconnected. Numb. My world doesn't get rocked a lot like everyone else when traumatic events happens. I felt more trauma when we had the flood in Tennessee a couple of years ago, and when we had a tornado hit our town. Of course, I was involved in that trauma, so, feeling that was a good, natural thing to feel.

So, when news of the tragic event in Connecticut started posting on Twitter on Friday, I wondered how bad it really was. Thankfully (I guess) I was away from the TV the entire day and didn't turn on the news until the evening. Even then, I limited it. I didn't watch the news. I didn't read articles on the Internet. It wouldn't change anything. I stayed off Facebook. I just really didn't NEED to be exposed to anymore trauma.


I was shocked. I was saddened, deeply, for the witnesses of the horrific crime, the families involved. And I thought how horrible it was for those babies and adults who died in such a sudden, traumatic way.

But, I didn't cry. I wish I could have. On facebook and Twitter everyone was crying and hugging their kids. Deeply moved by what had just happened and realizing the brevity of life. How fragile it is. So I spent the weekend wanting to feel more. To cry. To worry about my babies more. I don't know. I am honestly just numb. And I hate it.

Maybe I am still in shock. I mean my oldest is the age of those babies killed on Friday. How can that not break my heart? Bring me to tears. I guess because I know that it didn't happen to them and for that I am thankful and there is really no need to emotionally put yourself through that. I mean, it's one thing to be empathetic and to feel for the victims and their families but it doesn't do anything to put your baby at that event and imagining the loss, the grief and the trauma you would feel if, in fact, it did happen to your baby. In fact, it can be very emotionally damaging.

I also know that just because this event happened to children the same age as my own doesn't mean it's going to happen to mine. Another good thing about being trained for crises is that you know statistics. The possibility of this happening again in this specific way is highly unlikely.Anytime there is school violence you have to understand that there is variable that you cannot control....and that is the variable of a very unstable person. I hope through this event that this helps those in power understand better how to prevent these kinds of events. I hope that those who are mentally ill get the care and service and medications they need.

I don't have any of the answers and quite honestly, they are too overwhelming to even break down today. Because we are all still processing this event. We are still mourning. And I'm still trying to feel my way through it. So, I'm just going to pray and mourn. And let a little bit more of this in and feel and process this event as best I can.

The Inside Scoop on Wonderstruck!

My friend, Margaret Feinberg [www.margaretfeinberg.com], has a new book and 7-session DVD Bible study called Wonderstruck: Awaken to the Nearness of God [www.margaretfeinberg.com/wonderstruck] (releasing Christmas Day)—a personal invitation for you to toss back the covers, climb out of bed, and drink in the fullness of life. To learn more, watch the Wonderstruck Video HERE 

As you may or may not know, I’ve been a fan of Margaret Feinberg and her books for the last few years. I first fell in love with Margaret's style for teaching when she came to my church for a women's event. She was fresh, young and spoke from the Bible in a way I hadn't heard before. I bought several books and especially enjoyed The Sacred Echo. Let's face it, Margaret had me on the first page when she wrote : "I've never been a good pray-er". Yep. I could relate.

So, when I was given the opportunity to be a part of this book release "party mob" I jumped on it!!! I would love to be able to have an indepth convo with Margaret over coffee one day, but for now this brief interview will have to do!!!

I recently received the insider’s scoop about Margaret’s new book. Here are some highlights from the interview:

Where did the inspiration for the Wonderstruck book and Bible study come from?

Have you ever had one of those seasons where everything goes wrong, and when you think it can’t get worse, it somehow finds a way? Most people who have worked in ministry have experienced those seasons—some may be in one right now.

My husband, Leif, and I had just gone through one of the roughest years of our lives. In the aftermath, as we processed the pain and loss, I had an unexplainable desire in my heart. I began praying for the wonder of God. In essence, I said, “God reveal yourself, your whole self to me. I want to know you as Wonderful. I want to know you as I’ve never known you before and see you in places I’ve never recognized you before.”

God did not disappoint.


Why are you calling people to live #wonderstruck?

If you look in the Gospels, what you’ll discover is that those who encountered Jesus were constantly left in wild amazement. They were awestruck by the teachings of Christ, the healings of Christ, the mind-bending miracles of Christ. Within the Gospel of Luke we see words like “awe” and “wonder” and “marvel” at every turn. If this is the natural response to encountering Christ, how much more should it be for you and I—who are invited to live in relationship with Christ as sons and daughters of our God Most High? We even created a free PDF that looks at some of these Scriptures. For a free copy, email us at wonderstruck@margaretfeinberg.com and we’ll send you one.

Follow Margaret’s snarky, funny, and inspirational posts on Twitter [www.twitter.com/mafeinberg], Facebook [www.facebook.com/margaretfeinberg], or her blog [www.margaretfeinberg.com]. You can learn more about this great book by visiting www.margaretfeinberg.com/wonderstruck where she’s offering some crazy promos right now with up to $300 of free stuff. I’ve seen the book for as low as $7.57 ($14.99 retail) on Barnes & Noble [http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/wonder-struck-margaret-feinberg/1110904808?ean=9781617950889] for all you savvy shoppers.

Thank you, Margaret!!! I am so excited, my pre-ordered copy came the other day and I am thoroughly enjoying it!!!!!

God of Wonder

My friend, Margaret Feinberg has a new book and 7-session Bible Study called Wonderstruck: Awaken to the Nearness of God [www.margaretfeinberg.com/wonderstruck] (releasing Christmas Day)—a personal invitation for you to toss back the covers, climb out of bed, and drink in the fullness of life. Wonderstruck [www.margaretfeinberg.com/wonderstruck] will help you:



• Recognize the presence of God in the midst of your routine

• Unearth extraordinary moments on ordinary days

• Develop a renewed passion for God

• Identify what’s holding you back in prayer

• Discover joy in knowing you’re wildly loved

To learn more, watch the Wonderstruck Video (it's AMAZING!) HERE! Seriously, this video made me more excited for this book and study!


So, where have you seen the wonder of God in your own life?

I have to say I have seen the wonder of God in my own life in my children. It may sound cliche, but life is fragile. It took a lot to get my two babies here, and I have three angels in heaven as a result of the journey my husband and I decided to keep taking after the first miscarriage. We have friends who are currently going through what I consider the worst nightmare as a mother, besides the death of a child, and that is your child going through a serious illness that may or may not lead to death. Cancer. Aggressive and with complications. Looking at my two kids and seeing that they are healthy and whole humbles me and reminds me I am truly blessed.

Sure, I may joke about my kids and how stressful life is, but I don't post enough at how much I look at them and sometimes tear up at the miracle that is my children. And then I start thinking about our amazing bodies that God created, the capability and the intricacy of creating and maintaining human life. Wow. And, sadly, I am all too familiar with when that body lets you down. But I have two miracles to look at. They are beautiful (yes, I am biased). They are funny. They look like us. I carried them and gave birth to them. God created me. He created man and women to share one of the most intimate experiences we can have on earth. And out of that love is created.

How can a person not wonder at that?

How can a person not wonder about the details of creation? I love reading Psalms and especially Job 38-41, specifically chapter 38 when the Lord answers Job. Talk about humbling.

This is how I stay plugged into the wonder of God. And to be quite honest, the more I live this life, the more I have to, need to, reflect on how BIG God really is. He is bigger than miscarriages. He is bigger than cancer. He is bigger than the box I put Him in over and over again. A box of rules and cultural how-tos. Being "obedient", being "holy". I just want to BE with God. I want to fall at His feet and know Him. Then trust Him enough to show me how to be obedient and holy.

That is the burden of my heart this upcoming year. And this book is the perfect way to get lost in wonder. Lord knows, I need it more than ever.


Follow Margaret’s snarky, funny, and inspirational posts on Twitter [www.twitter.com/mafeinberg], Facebook [www.facebook.com/margaretfeinberg], or her blog [www.margaretfeinberg.com]. You can learn more about this great book by visiting www.margaretfeinberg.com/wonderstruck where she’s offering some crazy promos right now with up to $300 of free stuff. I’ve seen the book for as low as $7.57 ($14.99 retail) on Barnes & Noble Click here for all you savvy shoppers.

So where have you seen the wonder of God in your life?