God has been speaking to me in small ways here and there. Even if I didn't always feel that He was there, I kept searching for Him and asking Him to show up. And he started to in many small ways. I was just so ready for the heaviness in my heart to be extinguished. There were many verses along the way that I clung to:
In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and minds through Christ Jesus.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
And many, many more. I just clung to them in the fog.
Then, today I was just simply reminded that God Is. He has reminded me that He is Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end; the God who Was and Is and Is to be. Period. That is the reason for this post, because I can't remain silent.
I was reading Oswald Chambers for a change this morning and I can’t even remember now what I was reading, except that it convicted me, as usual. My Utmost for His Highest has a way of doing that. But in my mind I had a song playing in my head that I knew was a scripture passage and if something is in my head and it stays there I tend to either look it up or listen to the song, whichever it is. The words that were going through my mind were,
“Eye has not seen, ear has not heard…”
I knew the tune and I am somewhat embarrassed to say that it is from a Southern Gospel song from the 1990’s. But it was a great song. Those were the only words I could remember out of that song. I knew who sang it, I knew who wrote it, but that is all I could think of. I started looking up those words in the bible and was surprised at what I found.
But it is written, eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him. I Corinthians 2:9
At first I wondered why this verse was in my head. Nothing stood out except for the grandness of God and how amazing and powerful He is, and how I, a mere human on this earth, have not heard or seen anything compared to what God has in store for those that love Him. So I stumbled upon some commentary readings online. And Matthew Henry’s stuck out to me the most. I was humbled and in awe because I knew God was speaking to me; the God who I wanted to question and the God that I had trouble, “feeling”.
Here is what it said,
“…There are things that God hath prepared for those that love him and wait for him, which sense cannot discover, no teaching can convey to our ears, nor can it yet enter our hearts. We must take them as they stand in the Scriptures, as God hath been pleased to reveal them to us.”
Wow. God reminded me, again, that not only is He real, but even though I can’t see him or hear him (in the literal sense) He is here. It brought me peace. I don’t know why I have to be reminded of Who God Is, but I do. Then I am humbled, and grateful, and in awe.
“We must take them as they stand in the Scriptures”. It is enough. He is a great mystery. I can’t see Him, I can’t touch Him. But He is here. And my heart will be healed. He just wants me to hold on and cling to Him and to know He is real.
One of the Glory Revealed CD’s has this song on it entitled, ‘Since the World Began’, which is scripture out of Isaiah 64:4 which is where the scripture in I Corinthians references.
“Since the world began no ear has heard, no eye has seen a God like You, Oh a God like You…”
I don’t think it is a coincidence that I have been listening to that CD, and other worship CD’s for comfort. I don’t like feeling dead inside. But I know that I am not dead inside. I know that I love God the best way that I can and I know He has prepared for me things that I cannot even imagine. I can’t even really put it into words in a way that even attempts the concept of Who Christ is. That’s how big He is.
It’s like I had to start back at the beginning, again. It starts with the humbleness and awe that believing that God is real in spite of not having the taste, touch, feel and hear aspect of Who He Is. I just have to trust Him and take Him at His Word. Then I am reminded over and over of the things He has done in my life. I don’t understand why He doesn't get tired of me and my questions. I am thankful that He never will.
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not SEEN (emphasis mine). Hebrews 11:1