I don't often "gush" about my children. The truth is, being a mom is hard. I don't sugarcoat it. And, I enjoy being away from my children, it gives me a break, it's healthy, and we just get along better when we have had a break from each other.
I realize not all moms are like this, but I respect moms who want to be with their children 24/7, and hopefully, they respect the fact that God created us all as individuals and truthfully, we ALL need a break sometime, some just more than others.
But lately I have just been amazed by my children. Their preciousness, the fragility, the gift of who they are and why they are here.
I absolutely love hearing my four year old talk about God. I mean, he really gets God. It goes back to child like faith. Kids have it cause, well, they're children, LOL. But Carter gets trusting God. Carter knows that God created everything...including TV remotes, PBS and the movies that he watches. ha ha. Didn't you know that? Let me share with you.
The other day Carter came in while I was attempting to have my devotions. We call this my "talk to Jesus" time. He immediately wanted to talk to Jesus too and I said, "ok", knowing my time was over. Anyway, we started talking about creation and going through what was created on each day. Carter added a new day (well, several, actually) and he said something like this, "and on the eighth day, God created TV remotes so we could watch TV everyday. And PBS and movies. Then on the Twelfth day, God created the earth, sun, moon and the stars and everything in our backyard, and our beautiful house and the beautiful Wii games.
Now, he may not have gotten everything right, but it was too good not to write down. I love hearing him sing, talk and pray to God. It is so precious and innocent. It's not corrupted by having to live this life of so many years that takes the joy and trust out of knowing God (if we allow it to).
My baby boy is starting Pre-K tomorrow. I am not a sappy mom, in any way, and if you know me, you know this is true. But this past week I have just been watching my children be children and I am amazed that they are mine. Not because they are the smartest, cutest, or best at everything. But because they have so much potential in this world. And I am the person they spend the most time with. This means that I have the absolute most influence on their lives and how they turn out (besides God, of course).
And I have been reminded of the fact that I can either lift my children up or tear them down...in a matter of seconds! I am not proud of every word that has come out of my mouth to the ears of my children. Or even the looks that I sometimes give them with a scowl. No, I am not proud of every moment because I am human and we all mess up and the best I can do with that is learn from it.
But besides knowing Christ and Him being the center of their life, I long for my children to remember kindness from me. Laughter and giggles. Tickling matches and discipline done out of love, not anger.
See, they have the whole world at their fingertips. Today as we were driving Carter to meet his new teacher and have orientation Carter asked for the "Bar CD" to be played in the car. That is his description of the praise babies worship CD that we have that he LOVES. And I love that he loves it and sings along with it. So, we sang the first song together on the way to school and I was almost in tears.
Then Carter sealed the deal. He said, "Momma, when I get big, I am going to pick out my own CD and put it in the player. And when I get big I am going to sit in the front seat with you. And, when I get big, I'm going to drive just like you and daddy".
All I could muster was a "uh-huh" cause I was about to lose it. Then I said, more to Greg than Carter, " and one day you will fall in love, and one day you will...."
I couldn't finish it. Because I just can't believe that I get the privilege every day to train up this child in the way he should go. I get to see him grow up and Greg and I are entrusted with him, hopefully, for a very, very long time.
His life is just starting, with all the innocence and glow of a four year old. And I really wish nothing would mess that up. But I know I don't have any control over that.
I just pray that I can be the mom he deserves.