REFLECTIONS OF A MOM: May 2011

Perfect Kids.

Do you ever wish you had perfect kids? It usually happens right around the time your kids are NOT being perfect. At least for me it is. Carter had his Preschool graduation program last Thursday and he was really, really tired. When Carter gets tired he gets really hyper. He did not take an afternoon nap and by the time we went out to dinner before the program, I knew we were in for a treat. Ha!
The more tired, nervous, anxious, whatever, it seems Carter gets very….well, busy…. antsy…. active. *sigh* I could tell he was nervous, too, which also makes him hyper. His preschool teacher was wonderful. He was bouncing off the walls and jumping and all she said was, “well, I’m nervous, too”. I went to sit down in the auditorium and just really wanted to break down in tears.
If I listened to previous teachers, or even to my parents, then I would have to believe that Carter has a problem. And who knows, he might, maybe he is “over-active”. But, my pediatrician tells me he’s just fine. Mrs. Mary, his preschool teacher this year (a god-send!) put it this way, “He just acts like he’s five…”.
I get tired of the busyness. I get tired of the busyness at the wrong times. But I also see him being appropriate most of the time and at important times. He can focus. He is just extremely active. He is very, very busy. Apparently, they grow out of it, or so I have been told.
So what do you do with all the well-doers who come along critiquing your parenting techniques? Talking about what they would do if they had your child for six weeks and how they would shape them up? Yeah, that’s what I thought. I didn’t respond so well, either. Anybody else out there have someone from the previous generation that thinks children are supposed to be seen and not heard, still? I guess they haven’t gotten the memo that we actually let them be kids now and teach them how to behave as they grow. Four and five year olds are supposed to be busy and not sit still for forty-five minutes and when THAT generation did it, it was out of fear for their life; I would rather my child not grow up that way.
Okay. Vent over.
I think I tend to put a lot of pressure on Carter and I put a lot of pressure on myself as a parent. I also think I have a lot pride. And, my pediatrician also told me that Carter was given to me to humble me. Yep. Gee, thanks. But, it’s true. I’ve worked with kids for over 10 years now and even though I work with adults, too, working with families is my passion. So, my pediatrician said the same thing happened to her. She had a daughter who humbled her, a doctor, who specialized in treating children. We are given these strong-willed, stubborn little masses to humble us. To let us know we do not know it all. And for me, that I need to get on my knees and cry out to the only ONE who can supply me with what I need to be the best parent I can be!
Carter ended up doing fine in his program. He didn’t do anything more or less humorous or embarrassing than any of the other kids up on the stage that night. Although, he was extremely interested in the white lining to his dress pants pockets. :-)

Secret to a happy marriage when you have kids...

Greg and I are headed out of town this weekend to celebrate our wedding anniversary. It will be our eighth anniversary on May 10th. The grandparents are keeping the kids. We got a great deal on a two night stay, it has been paid for for months. We get free breakfast while we are there, plus a $50.00 resort credit (I Love Living Social deals!!)

Now, before you get too jealous I want to talk about how you, too, can get away with your spouse. I hear excuses all the time that we don't have the money to go out, or for a sitter, and certainly don't have the money to go on a weekend getaway.

Believe me, we are on a tight budget, but with livingsocials.com, we were able to get a really good deal. We gave this to each other for Christmas so it was paid for over four months ago. We are VERY fortunate to have grandparents who are willing and able to take the kids overnight. I know not everyone has that. But we all have friends and I am a big proponent of utilizing friends who also have children so you can have free childcare.

Obviously, things happen, and that can always be a deterrent to ever trying to get away without the kids. Griffin woke up today with a severe allergic reaction to his antibiotic he has been on for several days. I didn't know for sure, so I took him to the ped to make sure he wasn't contagious (our trip would then be cancelled and you would have had one, sad mommy!) Thankfully, it will clear up in a few days.

My personal philosophy and other therapists, pastors, counselors, etc. will tell you the same thing, that a marriage has to be tended to when you have children. You must carve out time for each other to reconnect and build intimacy. Greg and I have made a pact that this weekend is about us and we will do everything we can to remind each other if we happen to get off track (by talking about the kids non-stop. Yes, they are cute and we will miss them, but I want to be able to hold a conversation with my husband at dinner AFTER they are grown. If we don't cultivate that now, we won't know who each other is when we have an empty nest.)

I hear it time and time again, that we can't go out on date night and we can't get away. The truth is, you can, you are just choosing not to, Where there is a will there is a way.

There are countless free things to do for date night, you can even have a date night at home once the kids go to bed. You can trade off babysitting with others so that other couples can get a night out now and then too.

I understand that getting away for an overnight trip may seem challenging, however, with proper planning and support, it can be done. If nothing else, have friends or family members keep your kids overnight so you can have a break and give your spouse some undivided attention!!!

I hope you have a great mother's day weekend! I sure am!!!! :) :)

Awesome weekend at LHBC- Gallatin

Just wanted to post a few pictures from the women's event I have the privilege of being at Saturday. The women of Gallatin are very sweet!!! They went above and beyond in making sure I had everything I needed!! I led two sessions over the same material. It was the first time presenting that material, but I know that God had a special message to a few of those ladies. I could see it on their face.