The past couple of weeks have been really hectic. This past Monday was no different. It had been a very busy, stressful day.
After we got the kids in bed that night, I started talking to Greg about my day. I mean, I felt really stressed out. I had had an appointment in the morning, ran errands, picked up Carter from school and dropped him off at home, went and got Griffin and brought him home. Picked Carter up to take him to his 6 year old well care visit at the doctor's office, where we proceeded to wait for over an hour to be seen. Then I had to worry about dinner and what we were going to eat, etc....
So, I am sitting with Greg telling him about my day and he, very appropriately affirms back to me that, yes, I had a very stressful day. Then, I had a very profound thought come to my mind. So I asked Greg a very important question.....
I looked at him as I was talking about my day and asked, "Do you ever think about the laundry"?
He looked back at me, paused, and chuckled and said, "No. No, I don't".
So then I told him that not only had I been running around doing errands and picking up kids but that I also had to think about all the other "stuff" that has to be done. Like dinner. Like laundry. Keeping all the details of the boys school in my head, what was due, etc. This week was Valentine's Day week. That meant both boys had to have Valentines ready and Griffin had to bring something to his Mother's Day Out party the next day. Carter had to finish filling out his Valentines for his school party the next day. I knew Carter was out of clean jeans, and that even meant we had gotten a pair out of the dirty clothes and worn them twice. So he was really, really out of clean jeans, no more pulling from the dirty clothes pile. Ugh.
It dawned on me. As wonderful as my husband is, and you can read the two previous posts to see how wonderful he is, I was still carrying a HUGE burden around. I carried all of this "stuff" in my head like it was all mine. And who said it was mine? Who took over all of this stuff?
Hmmmm.....
I guess I did. It had never occurred to me that maybe the reason I was so stressed out was because I took on too much responsibility for everything and things that I didn't need to.
Hmmmm.....
I have been ruminating on this all week. Greg doesn't worry about the laundry getting done. He doesn't even think about it. But I do. I worry about it every day, because I am the self-imposed coordinator of the laundry. Greg helps, but what he helps with is at the end of the laundry process, the folding. Therefore, he never does the laundry. That falls into my lap. But, I got to thinking, when was the last time I had even asked Greg to throw in some laundry for me.
Hmmmm.....
And this just doesn't apply to laundry. How come I was the only one thinking about the boy's Valentines and all the items needed for their party the next day?
I know what you are thinking. Men and women are different. Nothing would get done if the woman didn't do it.
I disagree. I think that is a lie that we have latched onto and believe. I mean, yes, men and women are different, but it's not like men can't be taught to do things. I think more often than not, we women like how we do things and instead of giving up control, we take on Way. Too. Much. I know there are exceptions to this. But I know my husband. I know how capable and willing he is to help.
I really don't have a solution for this problem, just yet. I am still thinking it over. I do know this. I am holding on (more mentally than physically) to things for which I don't have to be solely responsible. And that is creating stress for me in my life. I have a very supportive husband, but, I am kinda jealous of his free-thinking ways. I really wish I could have a week or two of free-thinking for myself.
But then, we wouldn't have clean laundry.
Hmmmm.....
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