oh my goodness! I love everything about this article. As many of you know I have an 8 year old with ADHD. I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult....it was truly eye opening. My 8 year old already has questions about why he has to take medicine. How awesome this professional explains ADHD symptoms to families. Coming from a strengths perspective myself from my social work training, I just simply. love. this.
Click HERE to read how you can explain ADHD to your child from a strengths perspective!
Happy Monday!
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Hope For the Future
Have you ever wanted to repair something but didn't know how? Or knew that it was really out of your control and as much as you wanted to fix a situation you just couldn't quite put the pieces together to do so? I feel this just about every day in dealing with my ADHD son. I want to figure him out. I want to understand all of his behaviors. I worry. I pray. I wonder. I question. But in the end I can't figure it out.
And then I just have to let go. I continue to pray, especially during the difficult times. It's just part of my faith and when I can truly let go and experience peace. Calling on God to take over, surrendering to the things in this life that are completely out of my control.
I'm reminded often to pray. I don't always do it, but man, when I do, nothing may actually change my circumstances, but it makes them bearable. Not that we don't have our moments. Sometimes those moments drive us to pray without ceasing. And I am convinced that my son's ADHD has a purpose. And one of those purposes it to remind me that I need God to carry me through.
When nothing else makes sense. Nothing is working. When I am doubting, feeling like a failure as a parent, and about to lose my mind I am gently reminded to pray.
And then I reminded. My son is going to be. just. fine.
I don't know what that looks like but I know he's amazing and complex and he's going to be fine. When I feel overwhelmed in today, that's when I have to think about the outcome and how he has so much going for him. We are doing everything possible to give him the best treatment, support and opportunities. Even though a lot of the times I feel like a discipline failure and allow those fears to creep in (what ifs will drive you crazy). I have to TRUST God. I have to TRUST myself and my husband. And I have to TRUST to process.
Each day holds failures and successes as a parent, but I have finally figured out that one, singular day does not decide the fate of my child. It's a compilation of many, many days and years that will develop him into the strong, Christian man of God I KNOW that he will become. And that is what I hold onto when I talk about the "outcome", the future. If I only looked at the day to day, man, some days would just be pretty ugly. And how often do I ignore the good days? Cause I know there are more good days than bad. It's just the bad ones can be so bad that it shadows the good days.
So I try and make a point in recognizing the good. Because that is where I find hope. And it is in those good days that I am reminded that the in the future he's going to be. just. fine.
Prayer. Surrender. Trust. Faith. Hope and whole lot of love. How can that go wrong? His life may not be the picture that I wanted it to look like but it's not my picture to create. It's my son's picture. And I think he's pretty amazing.
And one day I'm going to look back and see how much the good and the bad shaped him into this incredible man of God who is creative and smart and independent and strong. And, maybe in the back of my mind, I will finally allow myself to consider that, yeah, I had a part in molding him into the man that he is and will become.
Wow. He's going to be just fine.
And then I just have to let go. I continue to pray, especially during the difficult times. It's just part of my faith and when I can truly let go and experience peace. Calling on God to take over, surrendering to the things in this life that are completely out of my control.
I'm reminded often to pray. I don't always do it, but man, when I do, nothing may actually change my circumstances, but it makes them bearable. Not that we don't have our moments. Sometimes those moments drive us to pray without ceasing. And I am convinced that my son's ADHD has a purpose. And one of those purposes it to remind me that I need God to carry me through.
When nothing else makes sense. Nothing is working. When I am doubting, feeling like a failure as a parent, and about to lose my mind I am gently reminded to pray.
And then I reminded. My son is going to be. just. fine.
I don't know what that looks like but I know he's amazing and complex and he's going to be fine. When I feel overwhelmed in today, that's when I have to think about the outcome and how he has so much going for him. We are doing everything possible to give him the best treatment, support and opportunities. Even though a lot of the times I feel like a discipline failure and allow those fears to creep in (what ifs will drive you crazy). I have to TRUST God. I have to TRUST myself and my husband. And I have to TRUST to process.
Each day holds failures and successes as a parent, but I have finally figured out that one, singular day does not decide the fate of my child. It's a compilation of many, many days and years that will develop him into the strong, Christian man of God I KNOW that he will become. And that is what I hold onto when I talk about the "outcome", the future. If I only looked at the day to day, man, some days would just be pretty ugly. And how often do I ignore the good days? Cause I know there are more good days than bad. It's just the bad ones can be so bad that it shadows the good days.
So I try and make a point in recognizing the good. Because that is where I find hope. And it is in those good days that I am reminded that the in the future he's going to be. just. fine.
Prayer. Surrender. Trust. Faith. Hope and whole lot of love. How can that go wrong? His life may not be the picture that I wanted it to look like but it's not my picture to create. It's my son's picture. And I think he's pretty amazing.
And one day I'm going to look back and see how much the good and the bad shaped him into this incredible man of God who is creative and smart and independent and strong. And, maybe in the back of my mind, I will finally allow myself to consider that, yeah, I had a part in molding him into the man that he is and will become.
Wow. He's going to be just fine.
I Didn't Know It Would Be This Hard.
So, things have been a bit rough around here lately. I really don't know how much to get into letting everyone know our business. Let's just say that we have gotten off to a very rocky 2nd grade start. It looks like more and more our seven year old is having anxiety issues along with his ADHD symptoms. And as much as I love ADHD medications, and the positive difference that it makes in the quality of my child's life...I hate it at the same time. Because it turns my child into a somebody different. All for the sake of helping him pay attention at school.
If you are reading this, please do not send me ideas of how to get my kid off ADHD meds. What works for your kid, natural solutions, ideas or help. I am not asking for help or ideas. Not to be rude, but I just need to vent. And I need to vent with just a listening ear...I don't need words of wisdom. I just need support. We need support.
My love/hate relationship with ADHD medications started last year, well, really in Kindergarten. The meds worked so well. My baby was a different kid. He was able to pay attention and stay in his seat. I told the teacher we were torn because we could see how differently our child acted because of this wonder drug. She encouraged me to keep him on it because of the positive changes in his school behavior. Not just academic, he was doing fine without meds academically, but self-esteem wise, having his name called out so much, all this negative attention, was not doing him any favors. Now he was blossoming. We were so happy with that. But, who is this kid who just sits there. Is moody? Gets temperamental at the drop of a hat and is now prone to meltdowns? This isn't our kid. Yes, he can pay attention in class and do his class work, but anytime we show up at school or throw off his schedule he shuts down.
The medication doesn't create all the negative behaviors for our boy. They just bring them out. Intensify them. They are there to begin with. The meds just make them worse. This we have learned. We saw them in him before the meds, they just weren't as obvious.
Now, we are in second grade, and because we changed his meds over the summer, more negative behaviors are showing up. HE isn't a behavior problem, no, everyone loves our boy. It's more internal than that. It's like he is his own worst enemy. Keeping all this stuff inside, the meds making it worse and it affecting his school life. So, now we are into multiple doctor appointments a week, parent-teacher conferences, daily emails to and from the guidance counselor. Not exactly what I expected my seven year old to deal with. It makes this mommy heart very sad. The guilt. The worry. The tension. The meltdowns. The comments from others who see my boy and say, "This isn't like him?? What happened". Makes my heart cringe every. time. I just want him to be him.
But, I'm not just a mom. I am a mental health professional. I have significant experience in dealing with kids with ADHD (God has a sense of humor doesn't he?). I have been on the other side of this thing so often. Holding a parent's hand. Encouraging them to medicate. Saying what is best. I know the stats. I know the benefits and risks of medication. I know that even with the best support, not medicating him can lead to him self-medicating in the future. And by that, I mean ADHD kids are at increased risk of drug and alcohol abuse, or other addictive behaviors if their ADHD is left untreated. I know, personally, because I had ADHD and was undiagnosed until a few years ago and I struggle to this day with food. It is my drug. My self-medicating drug. No, my child will not have to go through what I went through. This I know. This I feel strongly about.
Now, it's us. And I now understand how all those parents felt. I had no idea. I could sympathize, but I really had no freaking idea the pain that is involved or the side effects. The changes. I, like the teachers and school staff, just had the child's best interest at heart, and even though there are side effects the the benefits far out weigh the risks...that's what I would tell them. hmmm. I really had no idea at all. But at the same time, medication alone is not the answer. This I know, also. There has to be a comprehensive plan, and we are doing that for our boy.
So, we are on the search for the "perfect" regimen. Ha. Like there is one. We are looking for the best way to treat this ADHD thing without making my son into a zombie or affecting his social skills, or inhibiting his best academic performance. * sigh*. There was a touch of sarcasm there in case you missed it.
It's been a rough couple of weeks. But today is a new day. A new trial. We are damned if we do, damned if we don't.
That's how I feel about right now. Now to get ready for yet another appointment. Waiting to see what kind of email I get from the Guidance Counselor today.
I'm choosing joy, though, because others go through a lot worse than we do. I know that. I hope my venting has not seemed trivial in light of what you and your family are going through. We all have struggles. We all have a burden to bear. I'm thankful for the education I have. And for the encouraging words of our pediatrician when she said I was the best advocate for my child.
Damn right I am. I just didn't expect it to be this hard.
If you are reading this, please do not send me ideas of how to get my kid off ADHD meds. What works for your kid, natural solutions, ideas or help. I am not asking for help or ideas. Not to be rude, but I just need to vent. And I need to vent with just a listening ear...I don't need words of wisdom. I just need support. We need support.
My love/hate relationship with ADHD medications started last year, well, really in Kindergarten. The meds worked so well. My baby was a different kid. He was able to pay attention and stay in his seat. I told the teacher we were torn because we could see how differently our child acted because of this wonder drug. She encouraged me to keep him on it because of the positive changes in his school behavior. Not just academic, he was doing fine without meds academically, but self-esteem wise, having his name called out so much, all this negative attention, was not doing him any favors. Now he was blossoming. We were so happy with that. But, who is this kid who just sits there. Is moody? Gets temperamental at the drop of a hat and is now prone to meltdowns? This isn't our kid. Yes, he can pay attention in class and do his class work, but anytime we show up at school or throw off his schedule he shuts down.
The medication doesn't create all the negative behaviors for our boy. They just bring them out. Intensify them. They are there to begin with. The meds just make them worse. This we have learned. We saw them in him before the meds, they just weren't as obvious.
Now, we are in second grade, and because we changed his meds over the summer, more negative behaviors are showing up. HE isn't a behavior problem, no, everyone loves our boy. It's more internal than that. It's like he is his own worst enemy. Keeping all this stuff inside, the meds making it worse and it affecting his school life. So, now we are into multiple doctor appointments a week, parent-teacher conferences, daily emails to and from the guidance counselor. Not exactly what I expected my seven year old to deal with. It makes this mommy heart very sad. The guilt. The worry. The tension. The meltdowns. The comments from others who see my boy and say, "This isn't like him?? What happened". Makes my heart cringe every. time. I just want him to be him.
But, I'm not just a mom. I am a mental health professional. I have significant experience in dealing with kids with ADHD (God has a sense of humor doesn't he?). I have been on the other side of this thing so often. Holding a parent's hand. Encouraging them to medicate. Saying what is best. I know the stats. I know the benefits and risks of medication. I know that even with the best support, not medicating him can lead to him self-medicating in the future. And by that, I mean ADHD kids are at increased risk of drug and alcohol abuse, or other addictive behaviors if their ADHD is left untreated. I know, personally, because I had ADHD and was undiagnosed until a few years ago and I struggle to this day with food. It is my drug. My self-medicating drug. No, my child will not have to go through what I went through. This I know. This I feel strongly about.
Now, it's us. And I now understand how all those parents felt. I had no idea. I could sympathize, but I really had no freaking idea the pain that is involved or the side effects. The changes. I, like the teachers and school staff, just had the child's best interest at heart, and even though there are side effects the the benefits far out weigh the risks...that's what I would tell them. hmmm. I really had no idea at all. But at the same time, medication alone is not the answer. This I know, also. There has to be a comprehensive plan, and we are doing that for our boy.
So, we are on the search for the "perfect" regimen. Ha. Like there is one. We are looking for the best way to treat this ADHD thing without making my son into a zombie or affecting his social skills, or inhibiting his best academic performance. * sigh*. There was a touch of sarcasm there in case you missed it.
It's been a rough couple of weeks. But today is a new day. A new trial. We are damned if we do, damned if we don't.
That's how I feel about right now. Now to get ready for yet another appointment. Waiting to see what kind of email I get from the Guidance Counselor today.
I'm choosing joy, though, because others go through a lot worse than we do. I know that. I hope my venting has not seemed trivial in light of what you and your family are going through. We all have struggles. We all have a burden to bear. I'm thankful for the education I have. And for the encouraging words of our pediatrician when she said I was the best advocate for my child.
Damn right I am. I just didn't expect it to be this hard.
Middle Tennessee Homeschool Education Association
My husband and I are about to fly out to Mexico for a week to celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary! I can't believe it has been ten years already! We fly out Monday the 6th, so if we come to mind please say a prayer that childcare arrangements, travel and the trip overall would go smoothly and we can truly enjoy some much needed R & R.
I wanted to remind you that I will be speaking locally, in Nashville the week after we get back from our trip. I will be doing two break out sessions representing the National Center for Biblical Parenting you know, the people I have been talking A LOT about recently with their new book! (have you ordered yours yet? there is still time to get free stuff. Check it out HERE!).
For my local peeps I will be speaking at the Middle Tennessee Homeschool Education Association for their annual curriculum fair, held at the Tennessee Expo center (formerly called the Nashville Fairgrounds) May 17-18, 2013.. Friday, May 17th, I will be speaking at 3:00 PM on Teaching Children to Follow instructions. On Saturday, May 18th, I will be speaking at 2:00 PM on How To End Every Discipline Time with a Positive Conclusion.
It's good stuff! If you homeschool, or are thinking about homeschooling, this conference is the place for you. Hope to see you there!!!
For more information on the MTHEA Curriculum Fair and Expo...registration, costs, schedule, etc. click HERE
I wanted to remind you that I will be speaking locally, in Nashville the week after we get back from our trip. I will be doing two break out sessions representing the National Center for Biblical Parenting you know, the people I have been talking A LOT about recently with their new book! (have you ordered yours yet? there is still time to get free stuff. Check it out HERE!).
For my local peeps I will be speaking at the Middle Tennessee Homeschool Education Association for their annual curriculum fair, held at the Tennessee Expo center (formerly called the Nashville Fairgrounds) May 17-18, 2013.. Friday, May 17th, I will be speaking at 3:00 PM on Teaching Children to Follow instructions. On Saturday, May 18th, I will be speaking at 2:00 PM on How To End Every Discipline Time with a Positive Conclusion.
It's good stuff! If you homeschool, or are thinking about homeschooling, this conference is the place for you. Hope to see you there!!!
For more information on the MTHEA Curriculum Fair and Expo...registration, costs, schedule, etc. click HERE
The Christian Parenting Handbook Is Almost Here!!!!!!
A couple of weeks ago I posted about the upcoming book launch of The Christian Parenting Handbook by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller RN, BSN! It's actually available now, but don't buy it. Not yet, anyway. Keep reading to find out why.
I am blessed to be partnering with the National Center for Biblical Parenting (NCBP) to bring my readers all kinds of information and opportunities during this book's launch, April 29-May 5.
Inside this guidebook for parents are 50 biblically-based strategies for raising Godly kids. It is full of common sense, biblical and practical ideas that any parent can implement. I think every Christian family will want it in their home library or on their Kindle.
The official launch of this book is April 29th through May 5th. It is VERY important that you buy the book during launch week, so, while you could buy the book now, we want you to wait.
In fact, if you wait and buy the book between April 29 and May 5, The Center for Biblical Parenting will give you $400 in parenting resources absolutely FREE! How awesome is that? Click here to discover everything you will receive and how to go about claiming your gifts.
Honestly, that's all you have to do to end up with $400 in parenting resources!!!!
Now GO!!! Sign up to participate in the book launch and to get all your free goodies and plan to buy your book during launch week!!!! I know I am!!!
We will also be having a twitter party May 1st at 8 PM to spread the word even further! There will also be some cool prize giveaways during the party, so go to Twitter and follow @biblicalparent and look for the hashtag #heartparenting to learn more.
Whew! I think that is all....for now. I am excited??? Are you???
The Three B's....
This week we are continuing our talk on self-care. As a mom, who works part time and is very involved in her church, I realize, just as you do how easy it is to become tired, drained and even depressed by all the responsibilities women have on them in this day and age. The past few weeks we have defined self-care. We have talked about setting healthy boundaries. Today, I want to share the truth about women and self-care.
The truth is that women know that self-care is important. That if they make time for themselves they will be happier, more rested and have happier family lives. In fact, I would imagine that if you asked any women about the benefits of self-care they would agree that it would be a great thing to do.
However, according to a study that the people at Suave did a few years ago, partnered with a sociology professor, Dr. Katherine Gerson from NYU, stated that 80% of moms did not spend any time on self-care, even though 93% of those moms reported that they felt better when they took the time to take care of themselves.
What???
Even though 76% of women reported that felt happier and more attractive when they took care of themselves and 72 % felt more self confident the statistic shows that even though women KNOW that it is beneficial, 80% just. don't. do. it.
Why???
66% reported that GUILT is one of the primary barriers.
Sigh.
Just let me shoot it to you straight ladies. Guilt, when delivered to ourselves, is generally nothing but self-condemnation disguised as something that is beneficial. In other words we feel like we should feel guilty. We're mom's, right? Mom stands for "guilt". Leaving kids behind, going to work, dropping them off at the nursery, not knowing every discipline technique. Blah, Blah, blah. And it doesn't matter if you are a stay at home mom or a working mom, there is guilt. Am I spending too much time with my kids, are my kids getting enough socialization?? Blah, blah, blah. It is so easy to make yourself feel guilty, it is very easy to allow others to make you feel guilty. It is very easy take on guilt. It can become a part of you. You start apologizing frequently. You get in the habit of self-doubt. You don't know when to say yes to something or no. You are paralyzed in fear. That is what misguided guilt can do.
We are wrongly judging ourselves. We are our own worst enemy. Guilt has it's place. We were born with a conscience, the ability to know right from wrong. When we do something wrong, we feel guilty. When you are a mom and you have to make a tough decision, it is natural to feel guilty. But if you find yourself continually beating yourself up over those decisions it has moved beyond guilt and into shame (self-condemnation). That is why I talked about how having good personal and professional boundaries are so important. Someone who is balanced with themselves and know how to balance themselves with others experience less self-condemnation.
So how do I get rid of the guilt and start doing the things I know that are good for me?
1. Boundaries. We have already covered this in a previous post, but it is so absolutely connected to laying guilt aside and being the confident woman that God has created you to be. It has amazingly, wonderful positive consequences when implemented.
2. Balance. Closely tied to boundaries, having a balanced life means understanding that you can't have it all and you just have to know when to let things go. Balance means having confidence in your decisions, even when it hurts. You may have to go to that meeting and miss a special family dinner. Or, you may be able to tell your boss that you must leave at 4:30 in order to make your daughters ballet performance. It means knowing when to say "no" to that extra responsibility at church. And generally being OK with the hard decisions you have to make. Trusting yourself when you make the hard decisions that you are being healthy, realistic and doing the best that you can.
3. Blend. As a therapist, one of the things I teach my clients is the power of being flexible and not being so black and white. Having more gray areas in their life. People who have the ability to see things from both sides without judgement have more positive thinking. People who see things very black and white tend to have more negative thinking. We call this "all or nothing thinking". And many of us (me included) make assumptions in our thinking instead of asking questions and using communication to clarify what they think they are seeing or feeling. Then, people take on those assumptions as truth. If a person does this enough, research shows us that we can actually get into the habit of thinking negatively and believing those thoughts as truth. The professional term for this is "stinkin thinkin". :-) The best solution to "all or nothing thinking" is to learn to ask questions and use positive self-talk instead of just automatically believing everything you think.
Ultimately, it is up to each of us to take responsibility for our feelings and how we process those feelings and thoughts about ourselves. I am hoping that by having this discussion and giving you a little insight into HOW to stop the guilt that you can take the steps in moving forward and stop the negative feelings and whatever else that is keeping you from being the best that you can be .
Sometimes just starting with accepting ourselves, loving ourselves and reminding ourselves how much we are loved and why we are here will be the first and best step in making small, positive changes.
Hmmm....maybe that is truly the first step in taking care of ourselves, believing that we are WORTH the TLC we deserve.
for more info on the Suave studay, this is the best one I could find in a pinch that explained best. ARTICLE
The truth is that women know that self-care is important. That if they make time for themselves they will be happier, more rested and have happier family lives. In fact, I would imagine that if you asked any women about the benefits of self-care they would agree that it would be a great thing to do.
However, according to a study that the people at Suave did a few years ago, partnered with a sociology professor, Dr. Katherine Gerson from NYU, stated that 80% of moms did not spend any time on self-care, even though 93% of those moms reported that they felt better when they took the time to take care of themselves.
What???
Even though 76% of women reported that felt happier and more attractive when they took care of themselves and 72 % felt more self confident the statistic shows that even though women KNOW that it is beneficial, 80% just. don't. do. it.
Why???
66% reported that GUILT is one of the primary barriers.
Sigh.
Just let me shoot it to you straight ladies. Guilt, when delivered to ourselves, is generally nothing but self-condemnation disguised as something that is beneficial. In other words we feel like we should feel guilty. We're mom's, right? Mom stands for "guilt". Leaving kids behind, going to work, dropping them off at the nursery, not knowing every discipline technique. Blah, Blah, blah. And it doesn't matter if you are a stay at home mom or a working mom, there is guilt. Am I spending too much time with my kids, are my kids getting enough socialization?? Blah, blah, blah. It is so easy to make yourself feel guilty, it is very easy to allow others to make you feel guilty. It is very easy take on guilt. It can become a part of you. You start apologizing frequently. You get in the habit of self-doubt. You don't know when to say yes to something or no. You are paralyzed in fear. That is what misguided guilt can do.
We are wrongly judging ourselves. We are our own worst enemy. Guilt has it's place. We were born with a conscience, the ability to know right from wrong. When we do something wrong, we feel guilty. When you are a mom and you have to make a tough decision, it is natural to feel guilty. But if you find yourself continually beating yourself up over those decisions it has moved beyond guilt and into shame (self-condemnation). That is why I talked about how having good personal and professional boundaries are so important. Someone who is balanced with themselves and know how to balance themselves with others experience less self-condemnation.
So how do I get rid of the guilt and start doing the things I know that are good for me?
1. Boundaries. We have already covered this in a previous post, but it is so absolutely connected to laying guilt aside and being the confident woman that God has created you to be. It has amazingly, wonderful positive consequences when implemented.
2. Balance. Closely tied to boundaries, having a balanced life means understanding that you can't have it all and you just have to know when to let things go. Balance means having confidence in your decisions, even when it hurts. You may have to go to that meeting and miss a special family dinner. Or, you may be able to tell your boss that you must leave at 4:30 in order to make your daughters ballet performance. It means knowing when to say "no" to that extra responsibility at church. And generally being OK with the hard decisions you have to make. Trusting yourself when you make the hard decisions that you are being healthy, realistic and doing the best that you can.
3. Blend. As a therapist, one of the things I teach my clients is the power of being flexible and not being so black and white. Having more gray areas in their life. People who have the ability to see things from both sides without judgement have more positive thinking. People who see things very black and white tend to have more negative thinking. We call this "all or nothing thinking". And many of us (me included) make assumptions in our thinking instead of asking questions and using communication to clarify what they think they are seeing or feeling. Then, people take on those assumptions as truth. If a person does this enough, research shows us that we can actually get into the habit of thinking negatively and believing those thoughts as truth. The professional term for this is "stinkin thinkin". :-) The best solution to "all or nothing thinking" is to learn to ask questions and use positive self-talk instead of just automatically believing everything you think.
Ultimately, it is up to each of us to take responsibility for our feelings and how we process those feelings and thoughts about ourselves. I am hoping that by having this discussion and giving you a little insight into HOW to stop the guilt that you can take the steps in moving forward and stop the negative feelings and whatever else that is keeping you from being the best that you can be .
Sometimes just starting with accepting ourselves, loving ourselves and reminding ourselves how much we are loved and why we are here will be the first and best step in making small, positive changes.
See how great a love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him.
I John 3:1
Hmmm....maybe that is truly the first step in taking care of ourselves, believing that we are WORTH the TLC we deserve.
for more info on the Suave studay, this is the best one I could find in a pinch that explained best. ARTICLE
Christian Parenting Handbook Book Launch!
I am excited to share information about a new parenting book releasing in April. I will be sharing more information as the time draw nears but I wanted to share this promo video with you this week.
This book may be new, but Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller are hardly new on the parenting book scene. I am honored and proud to be a representative of the National Center for Biblical Parenting, which was started by Scott and Joanne. They present different parenting seminars, have written numerous books on parenting. Have a FABULOUS website, with so many different books, seminars, practical tips and simple solutions to common parenting issues. And you can access a lot of their tips, articles, etc. for free on their website, www.biblicalparenting.org! A few years ago they started training representatives to help them spread the message on heart-based parenting. That's how I got to know them. In 2007 I was trained in their Parenting is Heart Work seminar. Since then I have spoken at churches, conferences and trainings representing NCBP. I am very thankful for this opportunity to be part of this new book launch.
Now, Scott and Joanne are coming out with a book with 50 strategies for every stage of your child's life entitled, Christian Parenting Handbook. And it is biblically based, like all of their other material.
Here is a short video clip telling you more. Something to whet your appetite, so to speak. Stay tuned! Click below.
This book may be new, but Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller are hardly new on the parenting book scene. I am honored and proud to be a representative of the National Center for Biblical Parenting, which was started by Scott and Joanne. They present different parenting seminars, have written numerous books on parenting. Have a FABULOUS website, with so many different books, seminars, practical tips and simple solutions to common parenting issues. And you can access a lot of their tips, articles, etc. for free on their website, www.biblicalparenting.org! A few years ago they started training representatives to help them spread the message on heart-based parenting. That's how I got to know them. In 2007 I was trained in their Parenting is Heart Work seminar. Since then I have spoken at churches, conferences and trainings representing NCBP. I am very thankful for this opportunity to be part of this new book launch.
Now, Scott and Joanne are coming out with a book with 50 strategies for every stage of your child's life entitled, Christian Parenting Handbook. And it is biblically based, like all of their other material.
Here is a short video clip telling you more. Something to whet your appetite, so to speak. Stay tuned! Click below.
For more information go to www.christianparentinghandbook.com
Three Reminders I Need to Equip Me to Effectively Parent My Seven Year Old
Today is the day. For some reason my boy turning seven this year has affected me more emotionally than usual. So, I started reflecting on why?? I mean, I not only felt sadness, but a little anxiety. It was almost like it hit me that my husband and I are truly in charge of raising this little human being and this human being is not so little anymore.
This is a different developmental phase we are entering. Things are changing, and well, things are about to get more and more complicated. This is a time of greater independence and I think what hit me was, Greg and I are going be seeing more and more the results of some of our parenting. Our pouring into Carter. And... what if it doesn't turn out well?? Eek!!! (I mean, come on, do you NOT ever wonder what if?????)
So, these are somethings I have had to remind myself of this week as I processed moving to a different developmental stage.
1) Even though I may not see the influence that Greg and I have on Carter every day, there are days when we see it and it confirms that we are doing something right.
Some days with Carter are hard and challenging. Some days are wonderful. Some days I want to give up. But, every once in a while, OK, quite often, I see how Greg and I are influencing him in a positive way. The problem is we tend to focus more on the problems rather than the successes. It is so much easier to freak out over a minor behavioral issues rather than the big picture. It is also easier to focus on the negative rather than the positive. Believe me, I can teach parents all day long to focus on positives to reinforce the positives, but when it comes to day to day life with MY child it's harder than it appears.
So this year I am reminding myself to see the positive
2) Teaching my kids to act right and have good manners and social skills takes time, energy and a lot of patience.
Let's face it. We all want perfect children, right? I mean we would never say that, but get in public with others and you want your child to act perfect, because it reflects how good a job at parenting we are doing. Wait. Did I just say that? Yes, I did. I often lose my patience more in public than in private because I have this high expectation on my kids to reflect me in a good light. That is wrong. It is prideful. And I have learned I will always leave that situation with egg on my face and heart full of regret.
If I am not consistent in teaching my kids how to act on a regular basis, why do I think they are magically going to have those skills when we are in public. Now more than ever, I have to take advantage of every situation to make it into a learning situation. Having a dialogue as to why we don't do that but do this. Carter is only going to become more independent. And if my child does not act how I want him to act remember he's a kid, and he's not supposed to be perfect and this is how he learns.
I could go on and on about this, but I will save that for a separate post.
So this year I am reminding myself to remember that every moment can be a teachable moment.
3) Carter is going to fail. He's going to mess up. He might not always make the best decisions, but this is critical to how he will learn to make better decisions.
Developmentally, 7-9 year old years means we are entering a time of more independence and your child wanting to make more decisions about his day to day life. There is a fine line that parents walk during this time. Some parents don't want there kids to be hurt, fail, or make mistakes. Therefore, they go rescue them whenever they see a potential "train wreck". This is commonly referred to as "helicopter" parenting. And we all have a little bit of that in us and that's okay. But when we as parents continually protect, control, and ultimately make decisions for our children based on keeping them safe, we are crippling them and their ability to be independent one day.
I admit this is hard. I have felt it. I have to remind myself to butt out!
Let me give you a couple of examples:
When Carter comes home complaining that his friends were mean to him ALL DAY, didn't play with him, didn't sit with him, etc. I don't pick up the phone or get online and try to fix or figure out what happened and was my child mistreated. I just try to understand his feelings and empathize with him on how bad that particular day must have been for him and help him see what he could do differently next time.
If your kid has a really bad, difficult teacher, teach your child to respect those in authority no matter what. They can't quit something because they are not getting along with someone. Same with a coach, Sunday school teacher, etc. Any adult your child has to interact with on a weekly basis. This is YOUR opportunity to teach your child how to get along with others and not quit. As hard as it is, allow your child to feel discomfort, to not always get his way, and to teach him how to live with difficulty. Too many times we just want to rescue.
A great couple of books to read on this is
Parenting Is Heart Work
Helicopters, Drill Sergeants, and Consultants
It's a lot easier to take over and "fix" the situation than to let your child suffer. We want to take over. When you feel this way, it is a great opportunity to stop and pray and ask for wisdom! This is when you have to see your kid unhappy, fail or even possibly get really hurt by others. This when parenting gets hard (er).
So this year I am reminding myself to be more of a "consultant" and less of a "helicopter"
I think this is where my anxiety was coming from. My little boy is growing up. I guess I just needed to remind myself, again, that I am already equipped, through Christ to do this. I'm not going to be perfect, I don't have to be perfect AND neither does Carter. We both need grace, prayer, consistency and lots and lots of hugs for when life gets hard. And the reality is, it's going to get harder.
But, I still have time. We can do this. We are equipped to do this. And as scary and anxiety provoking as it can be, it's really cool seeing this little human being becoming his own.
I love you Carter.
This is a different developmental phase we are entering. Things are changing, and well, things are about to get more and more complicated. This is a time of greater independence and I think what hit me was, Greg and I are going be seeing more and more the results of some of our parenting. Our pouring into Carter. And... what if it doesn't turn out well?? Eek!!! (I mean, come on, do you NOT ever wonder what if?????)
So, these are somethings I have had to remind myself of this week as I processed moving to a different developmental stage.
1) Even though I may not see the influence that Greg and I have on Carter every day, there are days when we see it and it confirms that we are doing something right.
Some days with Carter are hard and challenging. Some days are wonderful. Some days I want to give up. But, every once in a while, OK, quite often, I see how Greg and I are influencing him in a positive way. The problem is we tend to focus more on the problems rather than the successes. It is so much easier to freak out over a minor behavioral issues rather than the big picture. It is also easier to focus on the negative rather than the positive. Believe me, I can teach parents all day long to focus on positives to reinforce the positives, but when it comes to day to day life with MY child it's harder than it appears.
So this year I am reminding myself to see the positive
2) Teaching my kids to act right and have good manners and social skills takes time, energy and a lot of patience.
Let's face it. We all want perfect children, right? I mean we would never say that, but get in public with others and you want your child to act perfect, because it reflects how good a job at parenting we are doing. Wait. Did I just say that? Yes, I did. I often lose my patience more in public than in private because I have this high expectation on my kids to reflect me in a good light. That is wrong. It is prideful. And I have learned I will always leave that situation with egg on my face and heart full of regret.
If I am not consistent in teaching my kids how to act on a regular basis, why do I think they are magically going to have those skills when we are in public. Now more than ever, I have to take advantage of every situation to make it into a learning situation. Having a dialogue as to why we don't do that but do this. Carter is only going to become more independent. And if my child does not act how I want him to act remember he's a kid, and he's not supposed to be perfect and this is how he learns.
I could go on and on about this, but I will save that for a separate post.
So this year I am reminding myself to remember that every moment can be a teachable moment.
3) Carter is going to fail. He's going to mess up. He might not always make the best decisions, but this is critical to how he will learn to make better decisions.
Developmentally, 7-9 year old years means we are entering a time of more independence and your child wanting to make more decisions about his day to day life. There is a fine line that parents walk during this time. Some parents don't want there kids to be hurt, fail, or make mistakes. Therefore, they go rescue them whenever they see a potential "train wreck". This is commonly referred to as "helicopter" parenting. And we all have a little bit of that in us and that's okay. But when we as parents continually protect, control, and ultimately make decisions for our children based on keeping them safe, we are crippling them and their ability to be independent one day.
I admit this is hard. I have felt it. I have to remind myself to butt out!
Let me give you a couple of examples:
When Carter comes home complaining that his friends were mean to him ALL DAY, didn't play with him, didn't sit with him, etc. I don't pick up the phone or get online and try to fix or figure out what happened and was my child mistreated. I just try to understand his feelings and empathize with him on how bad that particular day must have been for him and help him see what he could do differently next time.
If your kid has a really bad, difficult teacher, teach your child to respect those in authority no matter what. They can't quit something because they are not getting along with someone. Same with a coach, Sunday school teacher, etc. Any adult your child has to interact with on a weekly basis. This is YOUR opportunity to teach your child how to get along with others and not quit. As hard as it is, allow your child to feel discomfort, to not always get his way, and to teach him how to live with difficulty. Too many times we just want to rescue.
A great couple of books to read on this is
Parenting Is Heart Work
Helicopters, Drill Sergeants, and Consultants
It's a lot easier to take over and "fix" the situation than to let your child suffer. We want to take over. When you feel this way, it is a great opportunity to stop and pray and ask for wisdom! This is when you have to see your kid unhappy, fail or even possibly get really hurt by others. This when parenting gets hard (er).
So this year I am reminding myself to be more of a "consultant" and less of a "helicopter"
I think this is where my anxiety was coming from. My little boy is growing up. I guess I just needed to remind myself, again, that I am already equipped, through Christ to do this. I'm not going to be perfect, I don't have to be perfect AND neither does Carter. We both need grace, prayer, consistency and lots and lots of hugs for when life gets hard. And the reality is, it's going to get harder.
But, I still have time. We can do this. We are equipped to do this. And as scary and anxiety provoking as it can be, it's really cool seeing this little human being becoming his own.
I love you Carter.
Three Benefits of Having kids with ADHD
There are some benefits to having a kid with ADHD. Too many times I get bogged down in the challenges so I wanted to take a lighter look at what's good about having ADHD.
#3. SHORT ATTENTION SPAN. Usually, having a short attention span works against a person with ADHD. But, in this instance having a short attention span is awesome. Take going to the zoo, or looking at exhibits at an aquarium or museum. I'm an adult, I've seen all this stuff before. Having a kid with ADHD is great because they are always moving onto the next great, big thing. So, if you are wanting to move things along on an outing take a kid with ADHD. He/She will keep you moving. I remember taking Carter to an aquarium when he was two. Wow. Talk about the speedy tour. Greg and I chuckled because we literally were on the move the entire time, and I'm talking hyper speed. The only thing that slowed him down was going through the tunnel with all the fish above us. Ok, you have to remember that I am also ADHD (inattentive type) so this #3 may only apply to people with ADHD. You might actually like spending hours at the zoo or at exhibits.
#2. I ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO LEARN. Yep. I have a lot to learn and my ADHD son helps me learn that. I think kids in general help their parents become better parents because there are always challenges and obstacles and being a good parent means learning to be unselfish. And sometimes I'm not. I still have a lot to learn. Like patience. Having a kid with ADHD will help you have patience. One of the huge areas that I have to apply patience is in discussions with Carter. One answer is not sufficient, there is always a "why" follow-up. While I understand this is a sign of intelligence and it means he is learning, it DRIVES ME CRAZY!! I mean how many explanations within an explanation within an explanation can one woman handle?? I CAN"T!!!! Whew. Sometimes I take a deep breath and explain. Other times, I let him know it is time for the quiet game. LOL.
#1. LIFE IS NEVER DULL. (also refer back to #2) Greg and I enjoy peaceful moments at our house. I mean we are both introverts, kinda quiet and we don't like a lot of noise. Yeah, we are still adjusting to that one. Ha! God's sense of humor in giving me not one, but TWO rowdy boys. One who has ADHD and the other one that does everything that his brother with ADHD does. To say that our house is lively is an understatement. Thankfully, the liveliness is usually laughter and fun and the crying and drama moments are few and far between. Fighting, well, that's a whole other topic....
So there you have it. My short list of benefits of having kids with ADHD (or having it yourself! Ha!) As many times as I feel I fail my children, there are 10 things that I have done things right, we just never tend to pay attention to those times. I really try and recognize the good and the bad and learn from both. I wish I was the perfect parent who always had control of her kids, who never internally fumed over what people were thinking of her and knew that I had it all together. I am secretly very envious of the woman standing in a long line while her kids stand quietly next to her, seemingly being able to entertain themselves and not make a peep. However, I identify more with the mom who has the kids running up and down the hallway and punching at Mr. Cow at Chick fil A (to be fair, Mr. Cow started it).
But, if I had it all together, if that was the case, then I wouldn't need God. I wouldn't need grace. And I wouldn't need surrender and support. So, I choose to be thankful for ADHD and all the wonderful benefits it brings to our lives.
#3. SHORT ATTENTION SPAN. Usually, having a short attention span works against a person with ADHD. But, in this instance having a short attention span is awesome. Take going to the zoo, or looking at exhibits at an aquarium or museum. I'm an adult, I've seen all this stuff before. Having a kid with ADHD is great because they are always moving onto the next great, big thing. So, if you are wanting to move things along on an outing take a kid with ADHD. He/She will keep you moving. I remember taking Carter to an aquarium when he was two. Wow. Talk about the speedy tour. Greg and I chuckled because we literally were on the move the entire time, and I'm talking hyper speed. The only thing that slowed him down was going through the tunnel with all the fish above us. Ok, you have to remember that I am also ADHD (inattentive type) so this #3 may only apply to people with ADHD. You might actually like spending hours at the zoo or at exhibits.
#2. I ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO LEARN. Yep. I have a lot to learn and my ADHD son helps me learn that. I think kids in general help their parents become better parents because there are always challenges and obstacles and being a good parent means learning to be unselfish. And sometimes I'm not. I still have a lot to learn. Like patience. Having a kid with ADHD will help you have patience. One of the huge areas that I have to apply patience is in discussions with Carter. One answer is not sufficient, there is always a "why" follow-up. While I understand this is a sign of intelligence and it means he is learning, it DRIVES ME CRAZY!! I mean how many explanations within an explanation within an explanation can one woman handle?? I CAN"T!!!! Whew. Sometimes I take a deep breath and explain. Other times, I let him know it is time for the quiet game. LOL.
#1. LIFE IS NEVER DULL. (also refer back to #2) Greg and I enjoy peaceful moments at our house. I mean we are both introverts, kinda quiet and we don't like a lot of noise. Yeah, we are still adjusting to that one. Ha! God's sense of humor in giving me not one, but TWO rowdy boys. One who has ADHD and the other one that does everything that his brother with ADHD does. To say that our house is lively is an understatement. Thankfully, the liveliness is usually laughter and fun and the crying and drama moments are few and far between. Fighting, well, that's a whole other topic....
So there you have it. My short list of benefits of having kids with ADHD (or having it yourself! Ha!) As many times as I feel I fail my children, there are 10 things that I have done things right, we just never tend to pay attention to those times. I really try and recognize the good and the bad and learn from both. I wish I was the perfect parent who always had control of her kids, who never internally fumed over what people were thinking of her and knew that I had it all together. I am secretly very envious of the woman standing in a long line while her kids stand quietly next to her, seemingly being able to entertain themselves and not make a peep. However, I identify more with the mom who has the kids running up and down the hallway and punching at Mr. Cow at Chick fil A (to be fair, Mr. Cow started it).
But, if I had it all together, if that was the case, then I wouldn't need God. I wouldn't need grace. And I wouldn't need surrender and support. So, I choose to be thankful for ADHD and all the wonderful benefits it brings to our lives.
Opening Up about ADHD
Yesterday was a rough day. We have been dealing with a diagnosis of ADHD for our oldest son for a few months now. He also has some sensory processing issues, especially with touch and hearing. And while I wholeheartedly agree with the diagnoses, sometimes I just don't feel up to the challenge of having a challenging kid. Yesterday was one of those days.
This morning I heard an interview about labeling children on the Today show. To see the interview, click HERE Needless to say, it grabbed my attention. While this interview discussed ADHD, among other diagnoses, the family presented in this interview has three kids, yes, THREE sons with ADHD. Yikes.
Anyway, the mom in the interview is very open about sharing her families struggles with ADHD. I have yet to be that open, mainly because I want to protect my son. It's my job. But, on the other hand, as others have told me that I have an audience (albeit small) that would benefit from sharing our family struggles with this disorder.
*sigh*
But I don't wanna. LOL. (that's my best 3 year old impersonation). I know it will be very healing and cathartic (and hopefully, sometimes, funny) it also opens my boy up for attention and judgement. It opens my husband and I open for attention and judgement. And I think we get enough of that anyway, why would I want to add to it?
But, I know in writing about our struggles it might help someone else, or that other person may feel less alone by reading our story.
I think we are pretty fortunate in that we have a diagnosis. That in and of itself helps. Because not having a diagnosis makes a parent feel like a failure a lot of the time. We asked, "what are we doing wrong?" Carter can be challenging behaviorally. I don't mind it so much, except when we are in public. Because, honestly, I feel it reflects negatively on me as a parent. Why?
Hello! I am a psychotherapist that specializes in, guess what? Children, adolescents and families. I cannot tell you how many kids I have dealt with that has had this diagnosis. It is really, really different being on the other side of it.
I mean, I teach parents how to be good parents or to increase their parenting skills. Imagine how discouraging it is when you are trying to teach your child and your child does not cooperate? Especially before a diagnosis. I felt like a failure, a lot. I felt confused. I felt discouraged. I felt like something wasn't right but I didn't know what it was.
Carter was in childcare part time since he was six months old. It wasn't until he was two that we first heard a teacher (very unprofessionally) use the term ADHD for him. I was extremely angry and handled the situation by talking with the Director of the program. Thankfully, it was the day before the end of the school year. He went that final day and we did not return in the fall.
The next year was equally challenging for Carter. He was in a more structured environment and honestly, I loved his teachers, but I think they expected too much out of three year olds. Even though they were awesome, Carter didn't get as many chances of positive reinforcement as I would have liked, and that includes from me as well as the teachers. I was told Carter had a very difficult time sitting still. I cried. I went to the pediatrician. The ped said he was too young to do anything about diagnosing him at that time.
During Pre-K Carter did great. He was at the same school. Each day I picked him up I held my breath. I kept asking his teacher how he was doing? How was his behavior? I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. It never did. His teacher said he acted like a typical four year old. She had a hard time getting him to write, which for a boy is not unusual. And she said that if he didn't want to do something, he didn't do it (sounded familiar). My husband and I breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, maybe Carter was growing into becoming more mature and being able to control himself. He was by no doubt active and always had been, but it seemed that maybe those nagging feelings in the back of my mind about ADHD could be put to rest.
But during the second 9 weeks of Kindergarten he started having issues. Never anything behavioral, more affecting his academics. By the Spring of his Kindergarten year Carter had been diagnosed and was on meds. It made a dramatic difference in his ability to complete work and staying on task. We knew as painful as it was, we had made the right decision. We could see a huge difference ourselves, in how Carter behaved and how much more positive we could be with him.
Being on medication, however, does bring side effects. Yucky side effects. I don't like them. I don't like how it changes my kid's personality. We have lots more meltdowns now. He's moody. He has what appears to be anxiety, but who knows for sure. We have him in counseling twice a month because, as a therapist, I know kids with ADHD are more prone to depression and anxiety (and other lovely disorders that I'm not going to mention, like ODD). With counseling, he is able to learn about how to control his outbursts, anxiety, and how to self-sooth and calm himself. I was able to teach him some things, but it really is better coming from someone besides your mom.
My history is working with kids who are at-risk. Below poverty level, lack of parental supervision, lack of resources, etc. So, I know Carter is not exposed to those risks as those kids are. At-risk kids tend to have more of the severe disorders I mentioned above. I keep telling myself Carter has A LOT going for him. And he does.
Socially, he has always been able to make and keep friends. It seems like everybody knows who Carter is at his school. They are always coming up to him and saying, "Hi, Carter". I'm not going to say he is popular, but, with a kid who has ADHD I would say he is doing pretty well in the social department. That is HUGE!!!! I hope it continues to be positive.
Carter is funny, smart, creative, loving and very, very caring. He has a lot more attributes but these stand out the most.
Of course, Greg and I do all that we can to help Carter and figure him out and I spend alot of times on my knees praying that Carter is able to be all that he can be. That God would use him and this diagnosis for His glory.
You know, I would like to say that since I am a therapist that I am the PERFECT mom to have a kid with ADHD. Well, I am the perfect mom for Carter, but I am very imperfect. I lose my temper. Sometimes I raise my voice. I get overwhelmed. Frustrated. Exhausted. Sometimes I am not very loving, patient or kind to Carter, especially when he is very hyper. I hate it when I lose it in public. Lately, that seems to be happening while I am trying to check in both boys at church. LOL. Talk about humbling. I had to go the the Chidlren's minister a few weeks ago and apologize one Wednesday night because I was so frustrated with my boys that I took it out on the check-in people at church. I'm pretty open about my shortcomings. I am thankful for grace and hoping that I am also making improvements along the way.
Anyway, here we are. I hope to write more openly about this now. And I hope to protect Carter. I want to do both. I need to do both.
If you are a parent dealing with a difficult, challenging kid and don't know what to do and feel like you are at the end your rope, go talk to a therapist and see if an evaluation is necessary. Believe me, they are not going to diagnose your kids unless they need to be diagnosed. They are trained . They are professional. You have options. You have choices. We went the medication route. You don't have to. But sometimes having answers and interventions can make a huge difference. I can tell you having a diagnosis helps me to feel like not so much of a failure. And to know that while Carter is challenging, we have interventions. We just have to work harder. And that's okay because he is worth it.
More to come....thanks for listening.
This morning I heard an interview about labeling children on the Today show. To see the interview, click HERE Needless to say, it grabbed my attention. While this interview discussed ADHD, among other diagnoses, the family presented in this interview has three kids, yes, THREE sons with ADHD. Yikes.
Anyway, the mom in the interview is very open about sharing her families struggles with ADHD. I have yet to be that open, mainly because I want to protect my son. It's my job. But, on the other hand, as others have told me that I have an audience (albeit small) that would benefit from sharing our family struggles with this disorder.
*sigh*
But I don't wanna. LOL. (that's my best 3 year old impersonation). I know it will be very healing and cathartic (and hopefully, sometimes, funny) it also opens my boy up for attention and judgement. It opens my husband and I open for attention and judgement. And I think we get enough of that anyway, why would I want to add to it?
But, I know in writing about our struggles it might help someone else, or that other person may feel less alone by reading our story.
I think we are pretty fortunate in that we have a diagnosis. That in and of itself helps. Because not having a diagnosis makes a parent feel like a failure a lot of the time. We asked, "what are we doing wrong?" Carter can be challenging behaviorally. I don't mind it so much, except when we are in public. Because, honestly, I feel it reflects negatively on me as a parent. Why?
Hello! I am a psychotherapist that specializes in, guess what? Children, adolescents and families. I cannot tell you how many kids I have dealt with that has had this diagnosis. It is really, really different being on the other side of it.
I mean, I teach parents how to be good parents or to increase their parenting skills. Imagine how discouraging it is when you are trying to teach your child and your child does not cooperate? Especially before a diagnosis. I felt like a failure, a lot. I felt confused. I felt discouraged. I felt like something wasn't right but I didn't know what it was.
Carter was in childcare part time since he was six months old. It wasn't until he was two that we first heard a teacher (very unprofessionally) use the term ADHD for him. I was extremely angry and handled the situation by talking with the Director of the program. Thankfully, it was the day before the end of the school year. He went that final day and we did not return in the fall.
The next year was equally challenging for Carter. He was in a more structured environment and honestly, I loved his teachers, but I think they expected too much out of three year olds. Even though they were awesome, Carter didn't get as many chances of positive reinforcement as I would have liked, and that includes from me as well as the teachers. I was told Carter had a very difficult time sitting still. I cried. I went to the pediatrician. The ped said he was too young to do anything about diagnosing him at that time.
During Pre-K Carter did great. He was at the same school. Each day I picked him up I held my breath. I kept asking his teacher how he was doing? How was his behavior? I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. It never did. His teacher said he acted like a typical four year old. She had a hard time getting him to write, which for a boy is not unusual. And she said that if he didn't want to do something, he didn't do it (sounded familiar). My husband and I breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, maybe Carter was growing into becoming more mature and being able to control himself. He was by no doubt active and always had been, but it seemed that maybe those nagging feelings in the back of my mind about ADHD could be put to rest.
But during the second 9 weeks of Kindergarten he started having issues. Never anything behavioral, more affecting his academics. By the Spring of his Kindergarten year Carter had been diagnosed and was on meds. It made a dramatic difference in his ability to complete work and staying on task. We knew as painful as it was, we had made the right decision. We could see a huge difference ourselves, in how Carter behaved and how much more positive we could be with him.
Being on medication, however, does bring side effects. Yucky side effects. I don't like them. I don't like how it changes my kid's personality. We have lots more meltdowns now. He's moody. He has what appears to be anxiety, but who knows for sure. We have him in counseling twice a month because, as a therapist, I know kids with ADHD are more prone to depression and anxiety (and other lovely disorders that I'm not going to mention, like ODD). With counseling, he is able to learn about how to control his outbursts, anxiety, and how to self-sooth and calm himself. I was able to teach him some things, but it really is better coming from someone besides your mom.
My history is working with kids who are at-risk. Below poverty level, lack of parental supervision, lack of resources, etc. So, I know Carter is not exposed to those risks as those kids are. At-risk kids tend to have more of the severe disorders I mentioned above. I keep telling myself Carter has A LOT going for him. And he does.
Socially, he has always been able to make and keep friends. It seems like everybody knows who Carter is at his school. They are always coming up to him and saying, "Hi, Carter". I'm not going to say he is popular, but, with a kid who has ADHD I would say he is doing pretty well in the social department. That is HUGE!!!! I hope it continues to be positive.
Carter is funny, smart, creative, loving and very, very caring. He has a lot more attributes but these stand out the most.
Of course, Greg and I do all that we can to help Carter and figure him out and I spend alot of times on my knees praying that Carter is able to be all that he can be. That God would use him and this diagnosis for His glory.
You know, I would like to say that since I am a therapist that I am the PERFECT mom to have a kid with ADHD. Well, I am the perfect mom for Carter, but I am very imperfect. I lose my temper. Sometimes I raise my voice. I get overwhelmed. Frustrated. Exhausted. Sometimes I am not very loving, patient or kind to Carter, especially when he is very hyper. I hate it when I lose it in public. Lately, that seems to be happening while I am trying to check in both boys at church. LOL. Talk about humbling. I had to go the the Chidlren's minister a few weeks ago and apologize one Wednesday night because I was so frustrated with my boys that I took it out on the check-in people at church. I'm pretty open about my shortcomings. I am thankful for grace and hoping that I am also making improvements along the way.
Anyway, here we are. I hope to write more openly about this now. And I hope to protect Carter. I want to do both. I need to do both.
If you are a parent dealing with a difficult, challenging kid and don't know what to do and feel like you are at the end your rope, go talk to a therapist and see if an evaluation is necessary. Believe me, they are not going to diagnose your kids unless they need to be diagnosed. They are trained . They are professional. You have options. You have choices. We went the medication route. You don't have to. But sometimes having answers and interventions can make a huge difference. I can tell you having a diagnosis helps me to feel like not so much of a failure. And to know that while Carter is challenging, we have interventions. We just have to work harder. And that's okay because he is worth it.
More to come....thanks for listening.
Road Trips and Memories!
We have been on the road, it seems, ALL summer. We have been to Florida with the boys, to Alabama, Chattanooga, Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge (although that was during Spring break so it doesn't really count toward summer).
My sister and I were having a discussion this weekend, in Alabama, at her house, yet another road trip with the boys. We were reminicing about the good 'ol days (whatever they were) when we didn't have all the safety restrictions we have today. And the pros and cons of each.
When I was younger, we traveled long distances in the middle of the night, not unlike parents do today. The only thing is we were in a station wagon and the back of the car was made out into a bed. We slept most of the way without the hindrances of car seats and seat belts. LOL. Ah, those were the days.
We didn't have DVD players, or any other electronic devices to keep us busy. No, we had road travel games, you know "find the white car" or "the person who can see the most out of state license tags", etc.
But, lets just be honest. What we did best on road trips was aggravate each other. Ah, now that was where the real fun began. The hitting, sitting on, sitting too close, getting each other in trouble...my sister and I were discussing this weekend why we had a few purses thrown at us from the front seat. Ahem, sorry mom. I completely understand now.
Getting back to road trips. It seemed we always had to pee when there weren't any exits in sight and we had to pee....like, RIGHT NOW. Who hasn't pulled over the side of the road to relieve themselves on a road trip, whether you are a boy or girl? I know I did.
Last night, coming home from my sisters, Carter had a potty emergency. Let me tell you something about Carter. Carter, for whatever reason, holds his pee. I mean, the boy can hold it for 12 hours. We are not sure why, but needless to say, bed wetting has never been an issue. If you stop at an exit and he doesn't want to pee, he will not pee. I think we scarred him during potty training, something about having control. LOL. But, he goes when he has to go. Period. Maybe that is a parenting failure, but I chock it up to choosing your arguments. I let it go.
Last night we were almost home and had to take an alternate route because the interstate was closed downtown. We are getting off the interstate and Carter cries out he has to pee. I mean, he sounded like he was in pain. It was urgent, I could tell. There was no thinking about the next exit, unless we wanted a serious potty accident in the car. We had to pull over. Right there.
Carter was being initiated into the peeing-on-the-side-of-the-road trip memory.
Now this would have just been an ordinary experience, something to smile about in passing when discussing our summer activities, except the alternate route we were taking was right next to the airport.
I no sooner had Carter settled and he was relieving himself that I heard this huge jet take off. I looked up and told Carter to look up. It flew right over us, it was still very low because it had just taken off. It was amazing. I smiled at Greg because I knew this would be a memory. Something Carter would never forget. The roar of the engine. The lights. The speed. All within a few hundred thousand feet from him.....while he was peeing, of course. We can't forget about the pee.
Carter loves airplanes. He is obsessed with space and everything in it, and that includes airplanes. That is the closest he has been to one taking off or landing. It was like the coolest thing ever. He let out this huge, "wwwhoaaaaaaaoooowwww".
I helped Carter back in the car and listened to he and Greg talk about the plane and how big and close it was and how loud it was. Greg and I just smiled at each other. I loved it. And we would have missed it, if Carter wasn't so good at holding his pee.
I guess you just have to look at it from the positive perspective. Or at least try. :-)
Road trips. There's nothing like them for building memories.
My sister and I were having a discussion this weekend, in Alabama, at her house, yet another road trip with the boys. We were reminicing about the good 'ol days (whatever they were) when we didn't have all the safety restrictions we have today. And the pros and cons of each.
When I was younger, we traveled long distances in the middle of the night, not unlike parents do today. The only thing is we were in a station wagon and the back of the car was made out into a bed. We slept most of the way without the hindrances of car seats and seat belts. LOL. Ah, those were the days.
We didn't have DVD players, or any other electronic devices to keep us busy. No, we had road travel games, you know "find the white car" or "the person who can see the most out of state license tags", etc.
But, lets just be honest. What we did best on road trips was aggravate each other. Ah, now that was where the real fun began. The hitting, sitting on, sitting too close, getting each other in trouble...my sister and I were discussing this weekend why we had a few purses thrown at us from the front seat. Ahem, sorry mom. I completely understand now.
Getting back to road trips. It seemed we always had to pee when there weren't any exits in sight and we had to pee....like, RIGHT NOW. Who hasn't pulled over the side of the road to relieve themselves on a road trip, whether you are a boy or girl? I know I did.
Last night, coming home from my sisters, Carter had a potty emergency. Let me tell you something about Carter. Carter, for whatever reason, holds his pee. I mean, the boy can hold it for 12 hours. We are not sure why, but needless to say, bed wetting has never been an issue. If you stop at an exit and he doesn't want to pee, he will not pee. I think we scarred him during potty training, something about having control. LOL. But, he goes when he has to go. Period. Maybe that is a parenting failure, but I chock it up to choosing your arguments. I let it go.
Last night we were almost home and had to take an alternate route because the interstate was closed downtown. We are getting off the interstate and Carter cries out he has to pee. I mean, he sounded like he was in pain. It was urgent, I could tell. There was no thinking about the next exit, unless we wanted a serious potty accident in the car. We had to pull over. Right there.
Carter was being initiated into the peeing-on-the-side-of-the-road trip memory.
Now this would have just been an ordinary experience, something to smile about in passing when discussing our summer activities, except the alternate route we were taking was right next to the airport.
I no sooner had Carter settled and he was relieving himself that I heard this huge jet take off. I looked up and told Carter to look up. It flew right over us, it was still very low because it had just taken off. It was amazing. I smiled at Greg because I knew this would be a memory. Something Carter would never forget. The roar of the engine. The lights. The speed. All within a few hundred thousand feet from him.....while he was peeing, of course. We can't forget about the pee.
Carter loves airplanes. He is obsessed with space and everything in it, and that includes airplanes. That is the closest he has been to one taking off or landing. It was like the coolest thing ever. He let out this huge, "wwwhoaaaaaaaoooowwww".
I helped Carter back in the car and listened to he and Greg talk about the plane and how big and close it was and how loud it was. Greg and I just smiled at each other. I loved it. And we would have missed it, if Carter wasn't so good at holding his pee.
I guess you just have to look at it from the positive perspective. Or at least try. :-)
Road trips. There's nothing like them for building memories.
A prayer for you this week!
I think as a mom, we live daily with victory and regret. If its a "good" day, we feel victorious. If we have an especially bad day in Mothering, I (we) tend to suffer defeat; an overwhelming sense that I must be doing something wrong. I am a failure.
I have said it many times that I am by far not a perfect mother. There are no perfect mothers, but man, I can see how easy it is to compare ourselves to others and be very envious of the fact that they seemingly have it all together. It's also very easy to pass judgement on others. Maybe we feel superior. It helps us to think that there are others who face challenges like we do. Let's face it, it is reassuring when you see a mom struggling with their 2 year old the same way you do. It can be easy to pass judgement and say to ourselves, "well, at least I do that better than so-and-so. LOL.
The truth is we all have up and down weeks, some worse or better than others. It is what we have been given. When we choose to become parents, much like falling in love and getting married, there is risk. You never know what you are going to get.
For instance, take dealing with a child that has special needs. Now, special needs to you may mean a child with cerebral palsy or Down Syndrome. It can mean 24/7 care to a child who is blind, cannot walk and has severe developmental delays. To others it might mean dealing with a child who has a diagnosis of ADHD or Autism, learning disability or a child with emotional or behavioral challenges. For some it may be a medical issue or chronic illness with a very small child. It can be overwhelming. We all have challenges, but I tend to think that other parents may have more challenges than we do. Or vice-versa. Maybe you see other families and think how lucky they are. They don't have the challenges you do.
Well, that is a lie, because that same mom may be looking at me seeing something that isn't there and comparing herself to what I am doing. That is the problem with comparison. It leads to no where. The grass is not greener on the other side. What you may be struggling with may be different than the mom you are comparing yourself to. So, in essence, we see our weaknesses and think we are the only one. Other moms see our strengths and think we have it all together. When in reality, if we would just be real with each other and stop comparing and accept our strengths and weaknesses as part of our growth process we would be a lot happier.
At the end of the day, for me at least, I have to remind myself that I was made to be the parent to my two boys. God created me to be their mom. Nobody else is designed to make my family fit together. And being a parent means there is risk. There is hurt, pain, disappointment and fear. And if you allow it, it will consume you and cripple you as a parent. It is false. Untrue. A lie. I don't know how many other ways to put it.
But even with all the challenges, God has reminded us over and over again in the scriptures that we need to think about whatever is good. Noble. True. Holy. Pure. Judgment and comparison do not fall into those categories. So instead of focusing on the negative, focus on the Truth.
It boils down to where we place our security. Is it in how other people view us, even people very important to us, or how God views us? Is it in whether or not our child behaved like the other kid who never seems to act up or noticing the small positive changes in behavior when working on a particular issue with our kids.
It's easy to get discouraged. It's easy to believe the lie. To feel like you are never going to win. That life will always be challenging. But there are new mercies new every day! Amen!!!!
So today, I ask for serenity. I ask for new mercies. I ask for strength to get through this moment in time. Not to worry about yesterday or be concerned with tomorrow. To be in this moment. For the courage to change the things I can. To accept what cannot be changed and the wisdom to know the difference.
I've included the entire prayer that Reinhold Niebuhr penned in the 20th Century below. It is primarily used as a prayer for those recovering from addiction but I can tell you it IS a prayer of serenity and it is a prayer for everyone.
I have said it many times that I am by far not a perfect mother. There are no perfect mothers, but man, I can see how easy it is to compare ourselves to others and be very envious of the fact that they seemingly have it all together. It's also very easy to pass judgement on others. Maybe we feel superior. It helps us to think that there are others who face challenges like we do. Let's face it, it is reassuring when you see a mom struggling with their 2 year old the same way you do. It can be easy to pass judgement and say to ourselves, "well, at least I do that better than so-and-so. LOL.
The truth is we all have up and down weeks, some worse or better than others. It is what we have been given. When we choose to become parents, much like falling in love and getting married, there is risk. You never know what you are going to get.
For instance, take dealing with a child that has special needs. Now, special needs to you may mean a child with cerebral palsy or Down Syndrome. It can mean 24/7 care to a child who is blind, cannot walk and has severe developmental delays. To others it might mean dealing with a child who has a diagnosis of ADHD or Autism, learning disability or a child with emotional or behavioral challenges. For some it may be a medical issue or chronic illness with a very small child. It can be overwhelming. We all have challenges, but I tend to think that other parents may have more challenges than we do. Or vice-versa. Maybe you see other families and think how lucky they are. They don't have the challenges you do.
Well, that is a lie, because that same mom may be looking at me seeing something that isn't there and comparing herself to what I am doing. That is the problem with comparison. It leads to no where. The grass is not greener on the other side. What you may be struggling with may be different than the mom you are comparing yourself to. So, in essence, we see our weaknesses and think we are the only one. Other moms see our strengths and think we have it all together. When in reality, if we would just be real with each other and stop comparing and accept our strengths and weaknesses as part of our growth process we would be a lot happier.
At the end of the day, for me at least, I have to remind myself that I was made to be the parent to my two boys. God created me to be their mom. Nobody else is designed to make my family fit together. And being a parent means there is risk. There is hurt, pain, disappointment and fear. And if you allow it, it will consume you and cripple you as a parent. It is false. Untrue. A lie. I don't know how many other ways to put it.
But even with all the challenges, God has reminded us over and over again in the scriptures that we need to think about whatever is good. Noble. True. Holy. Pure. Judgment and comparison do not fall into those categories. So instead of focusing on the negative, focus on the Truth.
It boils down to where we place our security. Is it in how other people view us, even people very important to us, or how God views us? Is it in whether or not our child behaved like the other kid who never seems to act up or noticing the small positive changes in behavior when working on a particular issue with our kids.
It's easy to get discouraged. It's easy to believe the lie. To feel like you are never going to win. That life will always be challenging. But there are new mercies new every day! Amen!!!!
So today, I ask for serenity. I ask for new mercies. I ask for strength to get through this moment in time. Not to worry about yesterday or be concerned with tomorrow. To be in this moment. For the courage to change the things I can. To accept what cannot be changed and the wisdom to know the difference.
I've included the entire prayer that Reinhold Niebuhr penned in the 20th Century below. It is primarily used as a prayer for those recovering from addiction but I can tell you it IS a prayer of serenity and it is a prayer for everyone.
God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen.
New and exciting things!
Wow! The past few weeks have been crazy hectic.
my firstborn started Kindergarten. Our first parent/teacher conference is tonight. EEK! She said no worries, but I am secretly worried....about nothing in particular. He has done great, I guess I just am fearing the unknown.
My husband and I just got back from a wonderful weekend in Myrtle Beach. First time there. We went with 2 couples who are our closest friends and we left all the kids (8 between us) with relatives. Woo hoo. The weather was gorgeous. The ocean was fabulous. The time alone with my husband was priceless. We couldn't have asked for more.
Tomorrow, the regular fall activities begin at our church. I am teaching a Wednesday night discipleship class on parenting. It's a 12 week study entitled Parenting is Heart Work. If that name sounds familiar, it is. This is a more in-depth study of the parenting seminar that I do through NCBP. I am really excited as I have never done this study in-depth. I am really looking forward to it.
Tomorrow morning starts our church's mom group, called iMom. It stands for Intentional Mom. If you live in the middle Tennessee area follow this LINK to learn more about iMom.
Whew.
Last week I was so exhausted. I mean, my brain was tired. We were preparing to leave on this trip. I took too much on, as usual. I say this because I have a fabulous husband who will help out. He just needs to know I need help and there in lies the rub. Do I ask for help? No.
We didn't take our children, BUT, I had to pack for them because they were staying with relatives. My to-do list was two pages long. I had laundry to do, bags to pack, itineraries to print (which didn't get printed, BTW...)....I could go on and on, but if you are a mom, and you are reading this, I don't need to go on because you know exactly what I am talking about. It takes a lot of work to take a family on vacation, or for even just a weekend getaway. And the smaller your kids, the harder and more "stuff" you have to pack.
Then there are the notes to write. You know, the notes about your children that you are leaving for their caregiver for the weekend. For us, it was grandparents. Now, they have already raised at least one child and he or she survived because it is either YOU or your SPOUSE. Surely, we should give grandparents a little more credit than we give them. If they don't know they exact way little junior likes his sandwich cut up I am POSITIVE that junior will survive the weekend.
But, no. On I went and wrote my notes.
So, it's less than 48 hours before leaving for the beach. My notes are very far from being written down. I have barely begun packing. Still had lots to do. And I was very, very tired. Last Wednesday night I headed off to church. I was so exhausted that I stood at our church's coffee cafe and honestly could not make up my mind between whether I wanted regular coffee or decaf. No one was behind me, so I wasn't being rude or anything, but I told the one gal working there that I couldn't make up my mind. They let me think a minute then another gal came up, thinking I need assistance, and asked me what I wanted. I told her the same thing. I honestly could not make a decision. And I just stood there. My brain was not processing that I needed to make a decision.
I was very close to just giving up and walking away. I was so embarrassed and I shared with the two ladies, "have you ever been so tired that you can't make another decision". Now, I was talking to two women. Women who I was sure most likely had families. Children to care for, schedules to keep up with, etc. etc. They looked at me and nodded in agreement.
Then the lady who had asked me the second time what I wanted said, "what about half and half?" (meaning half caf/half decaf for all you non coffee drinkers out there...)
It was like I heard the hallelujah chorus going off in my head. I mean, it was perfect.
"YES", I said. "That is perfect!!!!"
Hahahahahaha......and it was. It solved my dilemma. It wasn't too much caffeine. It was a solution. And the best part, I didn't have to make the decision.
Life didn't get any easier or less exhausting following that. But it just made me laugh. And a good laugh is what I needed at that moment. And a half-caf, obviously.
Next trip, I am utilizing my husband more and putting EVERYTHING down on that to do list. Because if it's not on the list it gets forgotten. Like our itineraries. And the name of the company that I had a reservation with for the rental car (kind of important information, you know, when you need to pick up your car) and other small little things that got left behind or not done.
Life it too short not to ask for help. To prioritize what is important. And, to let go and forgive yourself when you mess up.
As we say, it all works/worked out in the end.
And it does.
The next time you are too tired to make a decision, then don't. Your body is telling you that you are done. Go get your husband. Call the grandparents. Go ask for some help even if it means calling a friend who is just as busy as you and asking them for H-E-L-P.
Do it. Ask for help. You just might get exactly what you need when you do!
my firstborn started Kindergarten. Our first parent/teacher conference is tonight. EEK! She said no worries, but I am secretly worried....about nothing in particular. He has done great, I guess I just am fearing the unknown.
My husband and I just got back from a wonderful weekend in Myrtle Beach. First time there. We went with 2 couples who are our closest friends and we left all the kids (8 between us) with relatives. Woo hoo. The weather was gorgeous. The ocean was fabulous. The time alone with my husband was priceless. We couldn't have asked for more.
Tomorrow, the regular fall activities begin at our church. I am teaching a Wednesday night discipleship class on parenting. It's a 12 week study entitled Parenting is Heart Work. If that name sounds familiar, it is. This is a more in-depth study of the parenting seminar that I do through NCBP. I am really excited as I have never done this study in-depth. I am really looking forward to it.
Tomorrow morning starts our church's mom group, called iMom. It stands for Intentional Mom. If you live in the middle Tennessee area follow this LINK to learn more about iMom.
Whew.
Last week I was so exhausted. I mean, my brain was tired. We were preparing to leave on this trip. I took too much on, as usual. I say this because I have a fabulous husband who will help out. He just needs to know I need help and there in lies the rub. Do I ask for help? No.
We didn't take our children, BUT, I had to pack for them because they were staying with relatives. My to-do list was two pages long. I had laundry to do, bags to pack, itineraries to print (which didn't get printed, BTW...)....I could go on and on, but if you are a mom, and you are reading this, I don't need to go on because you know exactly what I am talking about. It takes a lot of work to take a family on vacation, or for even just a weekend getaway. And the smaller your kids, the harder and more "stuff" you have to pack.
Then there are the notes to write. You know, the notes about your children that you are leaving for their caregiver for the weekend. For us, it was grandparents. Now, they have already raised at least one child and he or she survived because it is either YOU or your SPOUSE. Surely, we should give grandparents a little more credit than we give them. If they don't know they exact way little junior likes his sandwich cut up I am POSITIVE that junior will survive the weekend.
But, no. On I went and wrote my notes.
So, it's less than 48 hours before leaving for the beach. My notes are very far from being written down. I have barely begun packing. Still had lots to do. And I was very, very tired. Last Wednesday night I headed off to church. I was so exhausted that I stood at our church's coffee cafe and honestly could not make up my mind between whether I wanted regular coffee or decaf. No one was behind me, so I wasn't being rude or anything, but I told the one gal working there that I couldn't make up my mind. They let me think a minute then another gal came up, thinking I need assistance, and asked me what I wanted. I told her the same thing. I honestly could not make a decision. And I just stood there. My brain was not processing that I needed to make a decision.
I was very close to just giving up and walking away. I was so embarrassed and I shared with the two ladies, "have you ever been so tired that you can't make another decision". Now, I was talking to two women. Women who I was sure most likely had families. Children to care for, schedules to keep up with, etc. etc. They looked at me and nodded in agreement.
Then the lady who had asked me the second time what I wanted said, "what about half and half?" (meaning half caf/half decaf for all you non coffee drinkers out there...)
It was like I heard the hallelujah chorus going off in my head. I mean, it was perfect.
"YES", I said. "That is perfect!!!!"
Hahahahahaha......and it was. It solved my dilemma. It wasn't too much caffeine. It was a solution. And the best part, I didn't have to make the decision.
Life didn't get any easier or less exhausting following that. But it just made me laugh. And a good laugh is what I needed at that moment. And a half-caf, obviously.
Next trip, I am utilizing my husband more and putting EVERYTHING down on that to do list. Because if it's not on the list it gets forgotten. Like our itineraries. And the name of the company that I had a reservation with for the rental car (kind of important information, you know, when you need to pick up your car) and other small little things that got left behind or not done.
Life it too short not to ask for help. To prioritize what is important. And, to let go and forgive yourself when you mess up.
As we say, it all works/worked out in the end.
And it does.
The next time you are too tired to make a decision, then don't. Your body is telling you that you are done. Go get your husband. Call the grandparents. Go ask for some help even if it means calling a friend who is just as busy as you and asking them for H-E-L-P.
Do it. Ask for help. You just might get exactly what you need when you do!
September 17th!!!
I wanted to let you guys know that I will be speaking at the Awana Ministry Conference in Cordova, Tn on September 17th!! I will be doing two breakout sessions in the morning and in the afternoon.
The two breakout sessions I will be speaking on are:
1) Have Fun Teaching Spiritual Truths
Come learn how to start a Family Time in your home that will excite your kids about God’s Word. Activity is the language of children so use it to communicate biblical truth. This session will energize you about Family Time and explain how to make the scriptures relevant and exciting for your kids.
2) How to Teach Children to Follow Instructions
All parents want cooperation but many find it difficult to teach. Most parents give instructions over a hundred times a day. In this session you will examine the Instruction Routine in your home. Replace whining, arguing, and yelling routines with a five-step approach that teaches cooperation and responsibility to children for the long-term. Giving instruction will never be the same.
I will be doing the same breakout sessions both in the morning and afternoon!
Here is some more detail on the conference itself. And be sure to check out the video link above!!
"Don’t miss this one-day Awana Ministry conference where you will experience the inspiration of One More through a powerful keynote message, explore practical workshops relevant to your Awana ministry, and engage and share ideas with other Awana leaders in your area. Whether you’re a Puggles leader, a T&T director, a Journey volunteer or a pastor, you will learn valuable principles and “how-to” ideas for your particular ministry as you share the hope of the gospel with One More. "
To register for the conference, click HERE!
Can't wait to see you there!
The two breakout sessions I will be speaking on are:
1) Have Fun Teaching Spiritual Truths
Come learn how to start a Family Time in your home that will excite your kids about God’s Word. Activity is the language of children so use it to communicate biblical truth. This session will energize you about Family Time and explain how to make the scriptures relevant and exciting for your kids.
2) How to Teach Children to Follow Instructions
All parents want cooperation but many find it difficult to teach. Most parents give instructions over a hundred times a day. In this session you will examine the Instruction Routine in your home. Replace whining, arguing, and yelling routines with a five-step approach that teaches cooperation and responsibility to children for the long-term. Giving instruction will never be the same.
I will be doing the same breakout sessions both in the morning and afternoon!
Here is some more detail on the conference itself. And be sure to check out the video link above!!
"Don’t miss this one-day Awana Ministry conference where you will experience the inspiration of One More through a powerful keynote message, explore practical workshops relevant to your Awana ministry, and engage and share ideas with other Awana leaders in your area. Whether you’re a Puggles leader, a T&T director, a Journey volunteer or a pastor, you will learn valuable principles and “how-to” ideas for your particular ministry as you share the hope of the gospel with One More. "
To register for the conference, click HERE!
Can't wait to see you there!
Sometimes you just need a little hope...
If there is anything that I have learned about being a parent, it's that there are definitely highs and lows to go along with it, just like with everything else. I just wish I could get used to the roller coaster and when I see us rounding another corner and going uphill that I could better mentally prepare myself for the fall.
It is really hard to describe the thoughts that go on in a mother's mind. If you are a mom, I am sure you know what I am talking about. Worrying that you are doing enough. Wondering if your child will be successful. As a therapist, I can add looking for every possible sign of some sort of developmental delay or autism spectrum to that list (knowledge is not only power, but it can also be dangerous! lol).
It really is silly how many times with think, "is he OK?" or "is that normal" and let's not leave out "does she have emotional issues?"
When things get difficult when raising our children, when they seem to be pushing against every thing we are trying to teach them, and boycotting the structure that they really do long for, it can be exhausting. I want to throw up my hands and say, I'm DONE!
Then, you get to see glimpses. I call them glimpses from God. Little signs that you are OK, your kid is OK. Everything is really going to turn out fine. Sometimes I see this in Carter's behavior. When Carter remembers to ask politely. When he says something really sweet to us or to Griffin. When he gets a concerned look on his face when I am upset or Griffin is upset. You can see the work coming out. The work that God is doing in their lives, and the hard work you have put forth to create a "normal" kid (whatever normal is). Often times, it is when I am remembering how to treat my children with love, patience and respect that I get it in return. You would think that I would remember that when I am having difficulty keeping my patience. That tone I hear in Carter's voice sounds somewhat similar to that tone in my voice...you know, the disrespectful one. Ouch.
With all the snow days we have been having, things have gotten strained some days in the Mayo household. I mean, there are just so many things you can do in your house without getting bored. So, we have had some trying times. Days when I thought all I was doing was disciplining. Days when I felt like a failure. Days when I wondered would we actually survive having TWO kids. It kind of makes me chuckle.
Then, the glimpse happened. I got to see the Lord working in my son's life this week. In an amazing way. Friday morning Carter was up in the bonus room and came and got me and told me he had made a word. We had gotten him some letter tiles for Christmas to practice reading sight words. We will make the words and have him read them to us. He likes creating words that often aren't words at all, but it helps him learn and is a lot of fun.
When I got to the bonus room and saw what he had made, which was actually a sentence, not a word, I almost cried. My heart melted. I was amazed.
This is what I saw:
I luf U Jesus
He created that all by himself. It truly humbled me to know that God is at work in my child's life. I know we take him to church and we pray and have an active Christian life, but it just rings clearer to me that children's hearts are truly the most easily molded. They are tender. They have faith. They have trust. Nothing, hopefully, has come into their lives yet that has made them think to challenge the values they are growing up with. I pray that Carter knows he is loved, and that Jesus loves him. I am thankful he loves Jesus back. And that He knows who God is, who created the earth, who is all powerful.
Imagine if we still looked at God that way. If we truly focused on His attributes instead of relying on our own strength and trusting in our own strength.
If we came to Him just like a little child? If our hearts were soft? Moldable. Moveable.
What kind of work could He truly do through each of us if we were this transparent in our love for Him?
I love Jesus. Jesus loves me. End of story.
It is really hard to describe the thoughts that go on in a mother's mind. If you are a mom, I am sure you know what I am talking about. Worrying that you are doing enough. Wondering if your child will be successful. As a therapist, I can add looking for every possible sign of some sort of developmental delay or autism spectrum to that list (knowledge is not only power, but it can also be dangerous! lol).
It really is silly how many times with think, "is he OK?" or "is that normal" and let's not leave out "does she have emotional issues?"
When things get difficult when raising our children, when they seem to be pushing against every thing we are trying to teach them, and boycotting the structure that they really do long for, it can be exhausting. I want to throw up my hands and say, I'm DONE!
Then, you get to see glimpses. I call them glimpses from God. Little signs that you are OK, your kid is OK. Everything is really going to turn out fine. Sometimes I see this in Carter's behavior. When Carter remembers to ask politely. When he says something really sweet to us or to Griffin. When he gets a concerned look on his face when I am upset or Griffin is upset. You can see the work coming out. The work that God is doing in their lives, and the hard work you have put forth to create a "normal" kid (whatever normal is). Often times, it is when I am remembering how to treat my children with love, patience and respect that I get it in return. You would think that I would remember that when I am having difficulty keeping my patience. That tone I hear in Carter's voice sounds somewhat similar to that tone in my voice...you know, the disrespectful one. Ouch.
I wish I was perfect. But I'm not. None of us are. We are going to lose patience. We are going to forget that great teaching point that we were trying to hit home with during a certain discipline time. We will probably flub up on the sex talk. We might even yell or lose our temper at our kids. And then we will see it reflected back to us and hopefully learn something from it. My favorite verse to think about on days like this is "My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness!" 2 Corinthians 12:9 AMEN. The more I realize that I will never be perfect but I have the perfect Father who IS and who allows me to do all things through Him...including parenting my two kids. Well then, what else do I need?
With all the snow days we have been having, things have gotten strained some days in the Mayo household. I mean, there are just so many things you can do in your house without getting bored. So, we have had some trying times. Days when I thought all I was doing was disciplining. Days when I felt like a failure. Days when I wondered would we actually survive having TWO kids. It kind of makes me chuckle.
Then, the glimpse happened. I got to see the Lord working in my son's life this week. In an amazing way. Friday morning Carter was up in the bonus room and came and got me and told me he had made a word. We had gotten him some letter tiles for Christmas to practice reading sight words. We will make the words and have him read them to us. He likes creating words that often aren't words at all, but it helps him learn and is a lot of fun.
When I got to the bonus room and saw what he had made, which was actually a sentence, not a word, I almost cried. My heart melted. I was amazed.
This is what I saw:
I luf U Jesus
He created that all by himself. It truly humbled me to know that God is at work in my child's life. I know we take him to church and we pray and have an active Christian life, but it just rings clearer to me that children's hearts are truly the most easily molded. They are tender. They have faith. They have trust. Nothing, hopefully, has come into their lives yet that has made them think to challenge the values they are growing up with. I pray that Carter knows he is loved, and that Jesus loves him. I am thankful he loves Jesus back. And that He knows who God is, who created the earth, who is all powerful.
Imagine if we still looked at God that way. If we truly focused on His attributes instead of relying on our own strength and trusting in our own strength.
If we came to Him just like a little child? If our hearts were soft? Moldable. Moveable.
What kind of work could He truly do through each of us if we were this transparent in our love for Him?
I love Jesus. Jesus loves me. End of story.
Lost and Found....
You know, there are not many possessions in this world that I hold more dear than the ring that my husband placed on my fingers eight years ago, this past Christmas Eve, and asked me to become his wife. I had waited a LONG time to hear those words. My ring was beautiful and it truly was my most treasured possession.
Fast forward to seven years of marriage, two kids, a house and busy life and one active 20 month old helping mommy get ready for the day, like he does every day. Except this day is different. My wedding rings were on the bathroom counter. Griffin was in and out of the bathroom, into everything, like he is every day. I wasn't paying much attention. However, when I reached for my rings and saw that only my wedding band was there I panicked, but just a little. I take my rings off every night and I either place them on the kitchen island or the bathroom counter. They had gotten separated before and I had had that sinking feeling before that I had lost my ring. But, always found it.
So, I wasn't too panicked when my wedding ring was not with my band. After going through everything in the bathroom, including the sinks and drains, drawers, etc. I got a little panicked. We had to leave to go on a play date, but I wouldn't allow myself to feel the anxiety reaching up in my heart about my ring. I called my husband (who is ETERNALLY calm in these situations) and he reassured me he would look for it when he got home.
Well, he didn't find it either. We tore the entire house apart looking for that ring. It's gone. Little Griffin got it and we don't know what he did with it. We know it didn't go down any drains and we have shop-vacuumed all the vents. We have gone through everything in the bathroom, bedroom, closet, living room, dining room, guest bedroom, bonus room....you get the picture. We have gone through everything...twice.
We look at Griffin and say, "what did you do with mommy's ring?" and he just laughs. Because he doesn't know. He has no idea what he did. And I really can't hold it against that beautiful, sweet baby. He has no clue that he broke his momma's heart by his actions. He was just being a toddler, wanting to taste, see and explore anything he could.
I was really okay for about a week. Then I decided to call our home owners insurance to see if they covered such a loss. It turns out that since we didn't have it listed separately on our policy, they were not going to cover the loss. That was a really bad day. Actually, that is an understatement. I have not cried like that, well, since I had miscarriages. I mean, it was bad.
To know that you have lost something and it might not ever be found is one thing. Then to find out that you can't even get reimbursed for the valuable possession that was lost, in order to replace it, is just heartbreaking.
In all of this, I struggled with how I was supposed to feel. I mean, it's just a ring. Aren't there more important things to be concerned with? Poverty? World hunger? I had people tell me that this loss was just as important to the Lord as it was to me. I was told different ways to pray for the return of the ring. To "name it and claim it". To ask the Lord to show me where my ring was.
And it's not that I don't believe those methods work. I just felt like if I was supposed to find the ring, we would find it. However, I really didn't allow God to love me and tend to me like I should have. This loss was important to Him because I am important to Him. But, it was like I wanted to just hold all my pain and fear and anxiety inside and just keep it with me. And I was sad. I was really sad and heartbroken. I struggled with being heartbroken over something that doesn't last anyway.
I could really tell that I was getting depressed over this. And that upset me too. What I realized was that I was getting depressed because I wasn't allowing God to hold me and tell me it was going to be okay. It's okay to be sad over this loss. It isn't trivial. That ring was special. It was a symbol of our love and even though our love lives beyond a ring, it was treasured. Had I poured out my heart to God regarding my pain over this? Nope. I just wanted it all for myself and it was really starting to affect my day to day life. And not in a good way.
So yesterday, I decided to lay it all down. The mish mash of feelings. The multitude of anxieties (Psalm 94:19), the exhaustion of everything seemingly to not be going our way (the economy the past two years has greatly effected my husband's business). Losing the ring on top of that just reinforced the negative feelings that God is not for us and that we are under this dark cloud. I am really tired of the dark cloud. I am ready for sunshine. But those are lies. God is for us. And I knew that.
This is a trial. Just like everything else, I can either choose to grow through this or get stunted in my growth. I was choosing to be stunted.
Yesterday, even though I know Truth. I know Peace. Even though Jesus really should be the first One I run to, it took three weeks for me to lay it down. I read this scripture:
You (God) keep him in perfect peace the one who has his (and her) mind set on him. Because h/she trusts in God. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the ROCK eternal. Isaiah 26:3-4
Yeah. The Lord is the ROCK eternal. So even though this circumstance hasn't turned out the way I would like it to, I haven't found my "rock", my wedding ring, I have Him. And he's given me some pretty cool promises of things to come. And I do claim them. But even if there were no promises, He would be enough. I wouldn't trade His peace for any precious stone here on earth.
I think of this in parenting too. The daily struggle (I'm not the only one who struggles am I?) The doubts, the fears, is my kid going to turn out okay? Do I know what I am doing? What if?
What if my mind is just set on HIM? Hmmmm....perfect peace. Okay. I will take that. The Rock has it covered. Wow. How many other burdens am I carrying that He would love to lift off of me, if I would only allow Him? I may not find my ring, but I found, once again, that perfect peace casts out all fear.
Okay, I sooooo wouldn't turn down finding my ring, either. That will truly be a very, happy day. But for now, God's peace that He has given me is enough. And it's what I will turn to from now on when I am feeling sad about this loss. About my job as a parent, a wife and mother. My responsibilities. My dreams and my desires. Everything.
They are all laying at the foot of the cross.
Fast forward to seven years of marriage, two kids, a house and busy life and one active 20 month old helping mommy get ready for the day, like he does every day. Except this day is different. My wedding rings were on the bathroom counter. Griffin was in and out of the bathroom, into everything, like he is every day. I wasn't paying much attention. However, when I reached for my rings and saw that only my wedding band was there I panicked, but just a little. I take my rings off every night and I either place them on the kitchen island or the bathroom counter. They had gotten separated before and I had had that sinking feeling before that I had lost my ring. But, always found it.
So, I wasn't too panicked when my wedding ring was not with my band. After going through everything in the bathroom, including the sinks and drains, drawers, etc. I got a little panicked. We had to leave to go on a play date, but I wouldn't allow myself to feel the anxiety reaching up in my heart about my ring. I called my husband (who is ETERNALLY calm in these situations) and he reassured me he would look for it when he got home.
Well, he didn't find it either. We tore the entire house apart looking for that ring. It's gone. Little Griffin got it and we don't know what he did with it. We know it didn't go down any drains and we have shop-vacuumed all the vents. We have gone through everything in the bathroom, bedroom, closet, living room, dining room, guest bedroom, bonus room....you get the picture. We have gone through everything...twice.
We look at Griffin and say, "what did you do with mommy's ring?" and he just laughs. Because he doesn't know. He has no idea what he did. And I really can't hold it against that beautiful, sweet baby. He has no clue that he broke his momma's heart by his actions. He was just being a toddler, wanting to taste, see and explore anything he could.
I was really okay for about a week. Then I decided to call our home owners insurance to see if they covered such a loss. It turns out that since we didn't have it listed separately on our policy, they were not going to cover the loss. That was a really bad day. Actually, that is an understatement. I have not cried like that, well, since I had miscarriages. I mean, it was bad.
To know that you have lost something and it might not ever be found is one thing. Then to find out that you can't even get reimbursed for the valuable possession that was lost, in order to replace it, is just heartbreaking.
In all of this, I struggled with how I was supposed to feel. I mean, it's just a ring. Aren't there more important things to be concerned with? Poverty? World hunger? I had people tell me that this loss was just as important to the Lord as it was to me. I was told different ways to pray for the return of the ring. To "name it and claim it". To ask the Lord to show me where my ring was.
And it's not that I don't believe those methods work. I just felt like if I was supposed to find the ring, we would find it. However, I really didn't allow God to love me and tend to me like I should have. This loss was important to Him because I am important to Him. But, it was like I wanted to just hold all my pain and fear and anxiety inside and just keep it with me. And I was sad. I was really sad and heartbroken. I struggled with being heartbroken over something that doesn't last anyway.
I could really tell that I was getting depressed over this. And that upset me too. What I realized was that I was getting depressed because I wasn't allowing God to hold me and tell me it was going to be okay. It's okay to be sad over this loss. It isn't trivial. That ring was special. It was a symbol of our love and even though our love lives beyond a ring, it was treasured. Had I poured out my heart to God regarding my pain over this? Nope. I just wanted it all for myself and it was really starting to affect my day to day life. And not in a good way.
So yesterday, I decided to lay it all down. The mish mash of feelings. The multitude of anxieties (Psalm 94:19), the exhaustion of everything seemingly to not be going our way (the economy the past two years has greatly effected my husband's business). Losing the ring on top of that just reinforced the negative feelings that God is not for us and that we are under this dark cloud. I am really tired of the dark cloud. I am ready for sunshine. But those are lies. God is for us. And I knew that.
This is a trial. Just like everything else, I can either choose to grow through this or get stunted in my growth. I was choosing to be stunted.
Yesterday, even though I know Truth. I know Peace. Even though Jesus really should be the first One I run to, it took three weeks for me to lay it down. I read this scripture:
You (God) keep him in perfect peace the one who has his (and her) mind set on him. Because h/she trusts in God. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the ROCK eternal. Isaiah 26:3-4
Yeah. The Lord is the ROCK eternal. So even though this circumstance hasn't turned out the way I would like it to, I haven't found my "rock", my wedding ring, I have Him. And he's given me some pretty cool promises of things to come. And I do claim them. But even if there were no promises, He would be enough. I wouldn't trade His peace for any precious stone here on earth.
I think of this in parenting too. The daily struggle (I'm not the only one who struggles am I?) The doubts, the fears, is my kid going to turn out okay? Do I know what I am doing? What if?
What if my mind is just set on HIM? Hmmmm....perfect peace. Okay. I will take that. The Rock has it covered. Wow. How many other burdens am I carrying that He would love to lift off of me, if I would only allow Him? I may not find my ring, but I found, once again, that perfect peace casts out all fear.
Okay, I sooooo wouldn't turn down finding my ring, either. That will truly be a very, happy day. But for now, God's peace that He has given me is enough. And it's what I will turn to from now on when I am feeling sad about this loss. About my job as a parent, a wife and mother. My responsibilities. My dreams and my desires. Everything.
They are all laying at the foot of the cross.
Kids are unpredictable. I have found that they become even more unpredictable when we, as parents, ask them to do things that are beyond their development or when our pride gets in the way and we expect them to behave differently just because someone else is present.
I was confronted with my pride the other day when my kid was not "acting" like he was "supposed" to in front of others. We had a rather large party over at our house which included adults and kids of all ages. I happened to see Carter interacting with a little boy and it appeared he wasn't being very nice. So I redirected him. Then Carter just plain starting acting out. And not only was he acting out, but he was acting out in front of people...new friends....in our home. Insert "pride". It wasn't long before I was dragging Carter to our bedroom to give him a little talking to. On my way to the bedroom I realized that Carter was just being a kid; an imperfect kid who needed redirection, but my blood was boiling because he wasn't acting perfect in front of new friends.
Wow.
It made me stop and think of what kind of pressures am I putting on my kids because they don't "act" the way "I" want them to. Now, I am not talking about being disobedient or disrespectful. But just acting like kids who need to be trained.
How do you feel when your kid is mean to another kid, or doesn't share or in some other way "shows" him or herself and it is a bad reflection on you, as their parent?
It got me to thinking, is it really a bad reflection on me when my kid acts out or am I putting expectations on my kids and reacting to those expectations when it really doesn't matter.
Obviously, if your child isn't acting right it is an opportunity for us as parents to discipline our child, to train them. Which is what discipline actually stands for.
I recently asked some of my friends what the most unpredictable thing their kids have ever done in front of them and others. I got great responses.
Kids are unpredictable by nature and for the most part, I can handle it. Especially when you can find humor in it. Like some of my friends who were mortified by their young child saying, in a very loud voice when seeing a black person, " why is that person brown?". And by the way, Carrie....Carter asked the same thing just YESTERDAY while we had stopped for gas. It made me laugh because you had just given me that example! LOL! Or another friend who's daughter decided to cram a stuffed animal between her legs at a get together and say something very embarrassing to the crowd.
It didn't take me long to figure out that kids don't come out of the womb knowing what to do, they need training. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a four year old asking, "why is that person brown" or "is that person old". That is a kids natural curiosity. They do need to learn to ask those questions in private. They do need to be taught what discretion is and how to not be impulsive with every thought that comes into their mind. Those are questions that need to be explained and answered. But as mortified as we might be by some of our children's actions, well, they're just being kids.
I had another mom who responded in a way that I wish I responded more often. She said she knows her kids are unpredictable and to not expect anything less....that way, you are always prepared for the unpredictable! It was very good advice!
How prideful is it (and I'm talking to myself here) to want my kid to be the best behaved kid in town, especially in front of friends. For my kid to always make the right choices. To recite his ABC's and 123's on cue so that I can "show him off".
I was just really convicted the other day about MY behaviors. MY reactions. And MY responses to Carter's behaviors.
Something to chew on this week....
I was confronted with my pride the other day when my kid was not "acting" like he was "supposed" to in front of others. We had a rather large party over at our house which included adults and kids of all ages. I happened to see Carter interacting with a little boy and it appeared he wasn't being very nice. So I redirected him. Then Carter just plain starting acting out. And not only was he acting out, but he was acting out in front of people...new friends....in our home. Insert "pride". It wasn't long before I was dragging Carter to our bedroom to give him a little talking to. On my way to the bedroom I realized that Carter was just being a kid; an imperfect kid who needed redirection, but my blood was boiling because he wasn't acting perfect in front of new friends.
Wow.
It made me stop and think of what kind of pressures am I putting on my kids because they don't "act" the way "I" want them to. Now, I am not talking about being disobedient or disrespectful. But just acting like kids who need to be trained.
How do you feel when your kid is mean to another kid, or doesn't share or in some other way "shows" him or herself and it is a bad reflection on you, as their parent?
It got me to thinking, is it really a bad reflection on me when my kid acts out or am I putting expectations on my kids and reacting to those expectations when it really doesn't matter.
Obviously, if your child isn't acting right it is an opportunity for us as parents to discipline our child, to train them. Which is what discipline actually stands for.
I recently asked some of my friends what the most unpredictable thing their kids have ever done in front of them and others. I got great responses.
Kids are unpredictable by nature and for the most part, I can handle it. Especially when you can find humor in it. Like some of my friends who were mortified by their young child saying, in a very loud voice when seeing a black person, " why is that person brown?". And by the way, Carrie....Carter asked the same thing just YESTERDAY while we had stopped for gas. It made me laugh because you had just given me that example! LOL! Or another friend who's daughter decided to cram a stuffed animal between her legs at a get together and say something very embarrassing to the crowd.
It didn't take me long to figure out that kids don't come out of the womb knowing what to do, they need training. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a four year old asking, "why is that person brown" or "is that person old". That is a kids natural curiosity. They do need to learn to ask those questions in private. They do need to be taught what discretion is and how to not be impulsive with every thought that comes into their mind. Those are questions that need to be explained and answered. But as mortified as we might be by some of our children's actions, well, they're just being kids.
I had another mom who responded in a way that I wish I responded more often. She said she knows her kids are unpredictable and to not expect anything less....that way, you are always prepared for the unpredictable! It was very good advice!
How prideful is it (and I'm talking to myself here) to want my kid to be the best behaved kid in town, especially in front of friends. For my kid to always make the right choices. To recite his ABC's and 123's on cue so that I can "show him off".
I was just really convicted the other day about MY behaviors. MY reactions. And MY responses to Carter's behaviors.
Something to chew on this week....
General Baptist Convention
I had the privilege of speaking at the General Baptist Convention, July 26-28 th, for the second year in a row. This year it was held in Franklin, TN, not too far from home. Had a great time with some great people. This year I spoke on Consequences, Ending Discipline with a Positive Conclusion, and Family Time Training.
I wanted to share with you a few photos.
Speaking on Wednesday
Table shot. There is my handy helper Heather. She was a great help, and her three week old baby Stephen Thomas was quite popular, too.
Another table shot.
Thank you to National Center for Biblical Training for giving me the opportunity to represent them!
If you would like to learn more about NCBP you can go here!
I wanted to share with you a few photos.
Speaking on Wednesday
Table shot. There is my handy helper Heather. She was a great help, and her three week old baby Stephen Thomas was quite popular, too.
Another table shot.
Thank you to National Center for Biblical Training for giving me the opportunity to represent them!
If you would like to learn more about NCBP you can go here!
To learn more about me as a speaker please visit my website here! My website is in under construction and I will be updating it soon. I will post an update when it is completed.
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