I hope that you had just as wonderful a Christmas as I did. It has been great. I realized yesterday that this is my first Christmas as a mom. It was pretty cool. This was Carter's first Christmas, too. My sister and her two kids came to town and my dad and step-mom spent Christmas Eve and day with us too. Of course we had time with Greg's parents in there too. Very busy time of year.
Carter had kind of a rough Christmas. He has been sick. He has been to the doctor twice and is on antibiotics. He is feeling much better now but Christmas Eve and Christmas Day kind of stunk for him, and for us too. With being sick he is waking in the night so we are just a wee bit tired. We are hoping for an all nighter tonight-a whole night of wonderful sleep!!!! This morning Carter got me up at 5:30 and he did not want to go back to sleep. At least he slept till 5:30, the past two nights we have been up and down several times in the night. Anyway, he finally went back down about 6:45. I decided to stay up since it was morning and I could have some time to myself. I made coffee and started having my devotions and my eyes became really, really heavy. I thought I was going to fall asleep in my chair. I had taken a couple of sips of coffee and decided I would give sleep another try. Greg was up by now and about to eat breakfast. I slipped into bed and the next thing I remember its 9:20! Sleep is an amazing thing!
Carter was kind of oblivious to Christmas which was nice because due to all the family commitments, Carter couldn't see what Santa had brought him until about 1:30 in the afternoon! You can do that with an 11 month old. Next year, we will have to do things differently. We got lots of pictures and video. He loves playing with all of his new toys and books. I can't believe he turns 1 in less than three weeks!!!!
Some of you know I surprised Greg with a "remodeled" downstairs basement. It is now a rec room with a brand new pool table in it, a new paint job and UT accents. I will try and post some pictures. It looks great and he was thoroughly surprised!! He was equally wonderful to me too, this year. My favorite gift is the cappuccino maker he got me. I guess he is tired of all the money I am spending at Starbucks, ha! Not really, but I am excited that now I can have a latte anytime I want!!
Well, all the family has left and gone home. Carter is napping and I am enjoying the peace and quiet! Maybe I should retry having those devotions!!! You have to take those moments when you can!!
I have my 2o year class reunion on Friday, that is just too freaky to even write about! But I will post about that later.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!
Apprehension
I have been feeling quite apprehensive about quitting work and being home, all day, with Carter. I love my son deeply, obviously. But I am not the stay-at-home type. Sorry, that is just the way it is. I know others feel very strongly about this issue, as they should. But I believe we all have the right to follow where the Lord leads us.
For some of us, it is home with children and others its working while having children. I am not a sappy person, in general. That goes with being a burned out social worker. I have just seen too much. I cringe (and I hope that this does not offend anyone), but I cringe when I listen to Focus on the Family and all these sweet sounding women come on and talk about being at home or whatever ministry they are involved in. They sound so sickeningly sweet it drives me crazy.
For those who do not know me well, I am somewhat opinionated. I feel very strongly about women's rights, even in the church. Don't get me started on that. Anyway, if I feel very passionately about something I will debate you until there is no debating left. Usually, this is on social issues--women, poverty, education, etc. Just ask my dad. We debate quite frequently on several issues.
I feel a woman, a Christian woman or any woman, in this day and age has the God-given right to choose what she does for a living and as a mom. I feel very strongly about this. You can give me this report or that report and I will tell you, you can make research tell you anything you want. For some women, there is no other thing that they would love to do more than to stay home and educate their children from day one. For others, the thought of staying at home makes them cringe and they honestly feel they are better moms for working. I wholeheartedly agree, with whichever route you take!
The point is, it is a choice, and a choice we should all have the privilege to have. I respect your decision to stay home, you respect my decision to work. There, see, its easy.
That being said. I did not want to be a stay at home mom. Not because I do not love my child deeply, but because I have little patience and a low tolerance for coping in stressful situations. There, I said it! I admit it. The last time I stayed at home (pre-child) I became depressed. Not clinically, but just very unhappy. Now with Carter, I can understand I will be very busy. But I am not very domesticated (ask my husband). There are some that will probably disagree with me there. Yes, I like to cook and bake, but that is about it.
But the Lord has called me to stay at home (although I have other projects that will keep my mind stimulated). I totally resisted this. I can find the good and the bad that goes along with being at home with my child. On the good side, I am the one taking care of him. Also, I can teach him, stimulate his mind, play with him and create a strong bond. On the bad side, I will grow impatient with him, sigh and wish I were somewhere else. I will raise my voice to him when I shouldn't. I will damage him in some way. But most of all, my fear is that I will be unhappy and miserable. I am being very transparent here. These are my fears, not reality.
But fear is not from the Lord. And I know He wants to grow me and show me that I can overcome such fears. And He has many plans to show me that I am going to be a really good mother, and that I won't lose patience (most of the time) :-), and that He will increase my patience and He will be my encourager, and He will show me how He can make my life new by following Him.
My husband asked me last night, without knowing I had been contemplating all these things, if I had thought of all the fun things I was going to do with Carter when I was home with him. I scoffed at him and told him honestly how I had been feeling. He said he could see patience being a big issue. I completely agree.
I told him I would be doing a lot of praying!!! And I will.
For some of us, it is home with children and others its working while having children. I am not a sappy person, in general. That goes with being a burned out social worker. I have just seen too much. I cringe (and I hope that this does not offend anyone), but I cringe when I listen to Focus on the Family and all these sweet sounding women come on and talk about being at home or whatever ministry they are involved in. They sound so sickeningly sweet it drives me crazy.
For those who do not know me well, I am somewhat opinionated. I feel very strongly about women's rights, even in the church. Don't get me started on that. Anyway, if I feel very passionately about something I will debate you until there is no debating left. Usually, this is on social issues--women, poverty, education, etc. Just ask my dad. We debate quite frequently on several issues.
I feel a woman, a Christian woman or any woman, in this day and age has the God-given right to choose what she does for a living and as a mom. I feel very strongly about this. You can give me this report or that report and I will tell you, you can make research tell you anything you want. For some women, there is no other thing that they would love to do more than to stay home and educate their children from day one. For others, the thought of staying at home makes them cringe and they honestly feel they are better moms for working. I wholeheartedly agree, with whichever route you take!
The point is, it is a choice, and a choice we should all have the privilege to have. I respect your decision to stay home, you respect my decision to work. There, see, its easy.
That being said. I did not want to be a stay at home mom. Not because I do not love my child deeply, but because I have little patience and a low tolerance for coping in stressful situations. There, I said it! I admit it. The last time I stayed at home (pre-child) I became depressed. Not clinically, but just very unhappy. Now with Carter, I can understand I will be very busy. But I am not very domesticated (ask my husband). There are some that will probably disagree with me there. Yes, I like to cook and bake, but that is about it.
But the Lord has called me to stay at home (although I have other projects that will keep my mind stimulated). I totally resisted this. I can find the good and the bad that goes along with being at home with my child. On the good side, I am the one taking care of him. Also, I can teach him, stimulate his mind, play with him and create a strong bond. On the bad side, I will grow impatient with him, sigh and wish I were somewhere else. I will raise my voice to him when I shouldn't. I will damage him in some way. But most of all, my fear is that I will be unhappy and miserable. I am being very transparent here. These are my fears, not reality.
But fear is not from the Lord. And I know He wants to grow me and show me that I can overcome such fears. And He has many plans to show me that I am going to be a really good mother, and that I won't lose patience (most of the time) :-), and that He will increase my patience and He will be my encourager, and He will show me how He can make my life new by following Him.
My husband asked me last night, without knowing I had been contemplating all these things, if I had thought of all the fun things I was going to do with Carter when I was home with him. I scoffed at him and told him honestly how I had been feeling. He said he could see patience being a big issue. I completely agree.
I told him I would be doing a lot of praying!!! And I will.
Christmas time
I hope there are others out there like me that just does not like to shop. Now don't get me wrong, when I want something and have something in mind, I love to shop. But I do not spend hours on end at the mall. I am sure my husband is very thankful of that!
Christmas is the worst! I have not bought one, single Christmas present yet. That is so sad! I got online today to search for some things to buy for family and I ended up buying something for us!! LOL! It just cracked me up after I got to thinking about it. When I think about it, maybe it isn't the shopping at Christmas that I hate doing but figuring out what everyone wants. So much pressure finding the perfect gift....
I know gift cards are impersonal but I love them. Last year at Christmas time I was 9 months pregnant. Perfect excuse to use gift cards. Well, not this year. I have no excuse except to go out and shop! Which, I guess I will tomorrow.
Wish me luck!
Christmas is the worst! I have not bought one, single Christmas present yet. That is so sad! I got online today to search for some things to buy for family and I ended up buying something for us!! LOL! It just cracked me up after I got to thinking about it. When I think about it, maybe it isn't the shopping at Christmas that I hate doing but figuring out what everyone wants. So much pressure finding the perfect gift....
I know gift cards are impersonal but I love them. Last year at Christmas time I was 9 months pregnant. Perfect excuse to use gift cards. Well, not this year. I have no excuse except to go out and shop! Which, I guess I will tomorrow.
Wish me luck!
Resignation
Monday I made my official resignation from work. Easiest resignation I had ever done. My supervisor and I had already talked about it. I went in and told my principal at the school. That went fine. I am very excited to be telling people about my new adventures. It's amazing how God works! He was telling me to trust Him in this journey, even though it didn't make sense.
I only have 20 hours of supervision left for me to be able to take the licensure exam in social work. It would make complete and total sense to stay at Centerstone and finish out my hours there and finish out the school year and then go on this journey. There were many things that led me to believe that even though it made sense, it wasn't necessarily what I was supposed to do. One was God's word. Of course, that is all it should take, but after God's word came one of my most stressful school years ever. Second came the hives, from the stress of the school year and everything else.
The day I had the hives, I crawled up in bed and got in the word. I knew that was what I was supposed to do. I go to Luke 5. This passage is talking about when Jesus showed the then fisherman that they were called to not catch fish anymore, but men and women! They were to be His disciples. They had been trying to catch fish all night. Nothing. Jesus tells them to move out in the deep and cast their nets to the otherside. Can you imagine? Someone you have never met and who has jumped on your boat to get away from the crowds telling you how you should fish? But listen to what Simon Peter says, this is what caught my eye, he responds, "Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; NEVERTHELESS, AT YOUR WORD, I will let down the net.
We all know the end of the story. See, even then, Peter knew to trust the Lord, even when it didn't make sense and he followed through on what he was asked to do. Some notes in my Bible confirmed what the word was saying to me. Things like, "Just do it! Past your point of logic and prior experience (vs5). Here are some specific notes from the Experiencing Bible I use:
Belief knows where profitable work can be done (vs 4)
Belief forsakes human endeavors to achieve God's mission (vs 10-11)
Belief knows God's abilities (vs 12)
God was in essence, asking me would I follow Him, beyond my point of reason, believing Him in what He is calling me to do.
So, I made my deicision. A couple of weeks later, I faltered, trying to reason leaving Centerstone before my supervision hours were up. I went back and forth and I felt no peace. It finally occured to me, when I re-read Luke 5, that God's answer had not changed, but I was trying to make my answer fit instead of His. BEYOND MY POINT OF LOGIC AND PRIOR EXPERIENCE. Once I understood it was me who was considering disobedience I chose to fall back in line to God's timeline and not mine, the peace came, once again.
God has an awesome way of following through. That statment in itself really doesn't make sense because God always follows through with His plan, whether we decide to obey or not. But it is cool to see faith in action. Especially when we are so not faithful back.
I feel led to start a parenting ministry. I was hoping to start some things in my church but had only talked to the director of counseling about volunteering. This past week I get a call from the Women's Ministry director at my church. Amazingly, she offered some opportunities for me to start ministering to parents!!!! I was amazed.
But I really shouldn't have been.
God had already told me to be looking past my logic and more toward His supernatural logic.
I am so glad that I did.
Lord thank you for this journey. May I be faithful and surrendered to You always.
I only have 20 hours of supervision left for me to be able to take the licensure exam in social work. It would make complete and total sense to stay at Centerstone and finish out my hours there and finish out the school year and then go on this journey. There were many things that led me to believe that even though it made sense, it wasn't necessarily what I was supposed to do. One was God's word. Of course, that is all it should take, but after God's word came one of my most stressful school years ever. Second came the hives, from the stress of the school year and everything else.
The day I had the hives, I crawled up in bed and got in the word. I knew that was what I was supposed to do. I go to Luke 5. This passage is talking about when Jesus showed the then fisherman that they were called to not catch fish anymore, but men and women! They were to be His disciples. They had been trying to catch fish all night. Nothing. Jesus tells them to move out in the deep and cast their nets to the otherside. Can you imagine? Someone you have never met and who has jumped on your boat to get away from the crowds telling you how you should fish? But listen to what Simon Peter says, this is what caught my eye, he responds, "Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; NEVERTHELESS, AT YOUR WORD, I will let down the net.
We all know the end of the story. See, even then, Peter knew to trust the Lord, even when it didn't make sense and he followed through on what he was asked to do. Some notes in my Bible confirmed what the word was saying to me. Things like, "Just do it! Past your point of logic and prior experience (vs5). Here are some specific notes from the Experiencing Bible I use:
Belief knows where profitable work can be done (vs 4)
Belief forsakes human endeavors to achieve God's mission (vs 10-11)
Belief knows God's abilities (vs 12)
God was in essence, asking me would I follow Him, beyond my point of reason, believing Him in what He is calling me to do.
So, I made my deicision. A couple of weeks later, I faltered, trying to reason leaving Centerstone before my supervision hours were up. I went back and forth and I felt no peace. It finally occured to me, when I re-read Luke 5, that God's answer had not changed, but I was trying to make my answer fit instead of His. BEYOND MY POINT OF LOGIC AND PRIOR EXPERIENCE. Once I understood it was me who was considering disobedience I chose to fall back in line to God's timeline and not mine, the peace came, once again.
God has an awesome way of following through. That statment in itself really doesn't make sense because God always follows through with His plan, whether we decide to obey or not. But it is cool to see faith in action. Especially when we are so not faithful back.
I feel led to start a parenting ministry. I was hoping to start some things in my church but had only talked to the director of counseling about volunteering. This past week I get a call from the Women's Ministry director at my church. Amazingly, she offered some opportunities for me to start ministering to parents!!!! I was amazed.
But I really shouldn't have been.
God had already told me to be looking past my logic and more toward His supernatural logic.
I am so glad that I did.
Lord thank you for this journey. May I be faithful and surrendered to You always.
CRUISE!!
Greg and I got back from our cruise Friday. It was wonderful, if you have never gone cruising, I highly recommend it!!!! We traveled to the Bahamas out of Port Canaveral on Royal Caribbean. It was COLD when we left Port Canaveral. Really! Record 25 year lows. Miami had temps in the high 40's on Tuesday. Uh, huh. So I put a note to self never to go to the Bahamas in November. We don't really have good fortune when we travel in November. I seem to recall a business trip for Greg to St. Thomas, Virgin Islands in November Of course I travelled with him, hello? St. Thomas, do you think I would pass that up? Well let me sum it up this way: rain, food posioning, humidity, being stuck in the hotel all the time while Greg worked while it rained, and did I mention rain????????????? Our May, June trips are much better. Think we will stick to that time of year.
Anyway, I digress. We landed in Nassau, Bahamas on Wed. and the weather was finally great, windy, but great. Nassau reminded me a lot of St. Thomas, except no rain of course! Ha! The shopping was fun and we took a water taxi over to Paradise Island. In the 60's my dad helped build a hotel on Paradise Island, it is long gone, and now there is The Atlantis...oh, my.....what a hotel. If I were to go back to the Bahamas, that is where we would stay. It was fabulous walking around in there, it is MASSIVE and EXPENSIVE! Oh, well. Very blue waters in Bahamas. Thursday we made our way to Royal Caribbean's private island, Coco Cay. An even more gorgeous day than Wed. It was warm and sunny! The Island is great, lots of things to do. Greg and I ate lunch, walked on the beach and then layed in a hammock until time to go. The agenda for this vacation was to relax and that is what we did-relax. And there is nothing like relaxing in a hammock. And I didn't even fall out!
The best part of our vacation was coming home to see Carter. Greg's parents watched Carter for us while we were gone. Do you know how expensive it is to call from ship to shore?? Let me tell you, A LOT!!!!! We called every day anyway. But he did fine. He was great. He was sooooo happy to see us and we were ecstatic to see him.
We have had a good weekend. Carter is sick so we stayed home from church today. He will go to the doctor tomorrow. :-(
Anyway, that is our vacation in a nutshell. I will try and post some pictures when I get them uploaded.
Have a great week!!
Anyway, I digress. We landed in Nassau, Bahamas on Wed. and the weather was finally great, windy, but great. Nassau reminded me a lot of St. Thomas, except no rain of course! Ha! The shopping was fun and we took a water taxi over to Paradise Island. In the 60's my dad helped build a hotel on Paradise Island, it is long gone, and now there is The Atlantis...oh, my.....what a hotel. If I were to go back to the Bahamas, that is where we would stay. It was fabulous walking around in there, it is MASSIVE and EXPENSIVE! Oh, well. Very blue waters in Bahamas. Thursday we made our way to Royal Caribbean's private island, Coco Cay. An even more gorgeous day than Wed. It was warm and sunny! The Island is great, lots of things to do. Greg and I ate lunch, walked on the beach and then layed in a hammock until time to go. The agenda for this vacation was to relax and that is what we did-relax. And there is nothing like relaxing in a hammock. And I didn't even fall out!
The best part of our vacation was coming home to see Carter. Greg's parents watched Carter for us while we were gone. Do you know how expensive it is to call from ship to shore?? Let me tell you, A LOT!!!!! We called every day anyway. But he did fine. He was great. He was sooooo happy to see us and we were ecstatic to see him.
We have had a good weekend. Carter is sick so we stayed home from church today. He will go to the doctor tomorrow. :-(
Anyway, that is our vacation in a nutshell. I will try and post some pictures when I get them uploaded.
Have a great week!!
Surprise!
My wonderful husband took me out for my birthday last night. My birthday is on Sunday. I thought we were just going out to dinner and then he gave me my birthday card and in it were tickets to the Lion King!!!!!!!!!!! The Lion King is in town through December and I have been hinting that I wanted to go....and I guess my hints were heard!!
The show was marvelous!!!!!!!!!! Absolutely marvelous!!!!! My sweet in-laws kept Carter and we got way past all of our bedtimes, but it was a great date! Thank you, honey!!!
My in-laws are keeping Carter while we are on our cruise. On one side I am so excited have time alone with Greg, on the other hand, I think what am I doing leaving my baby for 5 days!!!!!!!!! I know it will all work out and I am praying diligently about Carter's health and safety. Sigh. I guess this is what it means about wearing your heart on your sleeve!! Motherhood does that to you!!!
3 days until cruise. I will post when we get back!
The show was marvelous!!!!!!!!!! Absolutely marvelous!!!!! My sweet in-laws kept Carter and we got way past all of our bedtimes, but it was a great date! Thank you, honey!!!
My in-laws are keeping Carter while we are on our cruise. On one side I am so excited have time alone with Greg, on the other hand, I think what am I doing leaving my baby for 5 days!!!!!!!!! I know it will all work out and I am praying diligently about Carter's health and safety. Sigh. I guess this is what it means about wearing your heart on your sleeve!! Motherhood does that to you!!!
3 days until cruise. I will post when we get back!
Its not about me
So when I started this blog something that occurred to me is that people may wonder, why create a blog? I thought the same thing myself. I haven't moved away, I don't really have issues going on in my family for people to keep track of, and I am not the kind of person to just ramble on about every day things. That is what I associate most blogs with. So here is what I came up with.
There are two reasons I created this blog. The first reason is, I wanted to practice my writing skills (you know, for that dissertation I am going to write some day-- wink, wink!). The second reason is because I really want to share what the Lord is doing in my life. I want Him to be glorified by what I do and where He is bringing me. So, in essence, this blog isn't about me, or at least I hope not! I really just want to practice writing and share what God is doing in my life. Period.
More on this process in the days to come.
Pray for Carter. He has his first ear infection!! :( He is already feeling better though.
6 days until our cruise!!
There are two reasons I created this blog. The first reason is, I wanted to practice my writing skills (you know, for that dissertation I am going to write some day-- wink, wink!). The second reason is because I really want to share what the Lord is doing in my life. I want Him to be glorified by what I do and where He is bringing me. So, in essence, this blog isn't about me, or at least I hope not! I really just want to practice writing and share what God is doing in my life. Period.
More on this process in the days to come.
Pray for Carter. He has his first ear infection!! :( He is already feeling better though.
6 days until our cruise!!
There is more to come
I want to sit down and write a post about this whole process of quitting my job in December and focusing more on ministry stuff...but, I need time to do that and that I don't have right now. Carter is still sick and we have had a pretty busy weekend. So, it will be coming soon, just not tonight. Just keep this in mind, it really isn't about me!
Countdown...8 days until we leave for our cruise!!!! Woo hoo!!!!!!!
Countdown...8 days until we leave for our cruise!!!! Woo hoo!!!!!!!
Oh, how I love you!!
First of all, thank you for all your nice responses from my first post last night. They were very reassuring and confirming!
My sweet pea, Carter, is sick. He has a cold and he feels bad. It makes me very sad when he feels bad. But no matter if he is sick or well, I have to say bedtime is my favorite time of day with him. He gets all sweet and cuddly. He clings to me and we rock back and forth in his nursery. It is sooooo sweet and it reminds me that he used to be a baby. Used to be is the operative word here! Where did my baby go??? So I treasure the night time, after his bath, and with his bottle in hand looking up at me with those sleepy, blue eyes. Ahh, there is nothing like it!!! I love you, sweet pea!
My sweet pea, Carter, is sick. He has a cold and he feels bad. It makes me very sad when he feels bad. But no matter if he is sick or well, I have to say bedtime is my favorite time of day with him. He gets all sweet and cuddly. He clings to me and we rock back and forth in his nursery. It is sooooo sweet and it reminds me that he used to be a baby. Used to be is the operative word here! Where did my baby go??? So I treasure the night time, after his bath, and with his bottle in hand looking up at me with those sleepy, blue eyes. Ahh, there is nothing like it!!! I love you, sweet pea!
I finally sat down and did it!
I created a blog! Woo hoo!! I have been meaning to do this for sometime, but you know how it is! Welcome! I am not sure what to tell you to expect here but you will probably notice I open up a lot more on here than I do in person. Well, that depends on who you are! :) If you saw my profile and you read, "I feel called to full time ministry", you might be wondering exactly what that means. I wish I could tell you. Ha! That is part of the journey. I know I will be quitting my job as a therapist at the middle school in Dec. I know I feel led to lead parenting seminars, whether in church or out in the community. I may or may not pursue furthering my education, possibly at a seminary. At this point I just don't know. All I know is I need to be willing to do whatever. I do have a hunger and a passion for helping parents (and myself) in raising Godly children and setting boundaries and limits with love. I have worked with at-risk kids and their parents for the last 10 years. I would love to bring some of the knowledge and experience I have gained to parents everywhere who want to listen. I have a lot of research to do. Greg, my husband, says I need to write a book. We'll see. God is in charge here, I am just along for the ride! And have I mentioned my gorgeous boy, Carter!!!! Almost 10 months old and into everything. He is already challenging my parenting skills --or what I thought were skills! We'll see about that. More on Carter later! I am tired and need sleep. Again, Welcome and enjoy!!!!
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